It seems like depression seems to be hitting the blogosphere. At least with the people I read online.
Two of the biggest bloggers, The Bloggess and Hyperbole and a Half have both recently detailed their journeys through depression, just in the past week.
So, since I’m a big follower and not much a leader, I’m going to take my turn! (Following that is. Not sure if that was clear.)
Yes, I am depressed. Although, quite truthfully, I’m pretty much out of it.
But there was a time recently where it was hard to get out of bed, go to work, and do other normal things. I had to really force myself to just be a responsible human.
And the worst part was that I didn’t exactly know what was going on. Also, I have a therapist and take medicine!
But, still it was happening. I didn’t have it nearly as badly as others, but it was ever-present.
I was on the subway once, and I actually had a thought that went something like this:
I totally understand how some people throw themselves onto the tracks.
That line from Warren Zevon really stuck out:
“I lay my head on the railroad track, waiting on the EE
The railroad don’t run no more, poor, poor pitiful me”
Thoroughly depressed? Ha. Nice.
So, this weekend, after a few months I sort of snapped out of it. I just realized I could go out and do things that made me happy. To a normal person this is so obvious. But to me, for months I hardly moved.
Sure, I went to events, paid bills, performed at work, and took care of my house and pets, but I was in a funk. And not the cool kind of funk, like George Clinton.
Here’s what I did this weekend:
- Made Pasta Fagioli
I would love to tell you that I did something super manly like losing a tooth in a rugby tournament or punching out a nun. But I made a delicious Italian soup. I felt like an ever bigger sissy going to Panera Bread and ordering two breadbowls. Both were for me.
- Picking up a wreath
My mom, in an extreme act of kindness has not only given me a free car this month, but also ordered a custom wreath for my condo. She had a designer do it, and so I went and picked it up. It’s awesome.
- Getting Something Framed
I was in Santa Fe last month and I bought this print. During my depression I went and got it framed. I was so bummed out I was like, “I don’t even want to go pick it up! I don’t deserve it!” Anyway, I finally got it. I think it’s a cheetah or some shit. I dig it.
- Hang Out With Pets
If you don’t have pets or kids, go get some. Maybe start with pets. They poop less.
So, I’m not sure I know anything more about depression other than to feel some of it, sit with it, and then go out and do stuff that’s fun. I even got myself to the gym yesterday for the first time in months.
Lastly, thank you to all my readers. I am constantly so grateful for the emails I receive almost daily and the comments you write. I’m glad you appreciate me talking about myself.
Which is all I ever wanted to do (just ask my ex-wife and friends).
It’s super annoying.
P.S. Oh, I do have to tell you the absolute greatest joke I have ever written. Next time you’re in an elevator feel free to use it.
Hey, those floor buttons must be bummed out.
(wait for, “Why?”)
Because they’re always getting de-pressed.
Screw off if you don’t like puns. I love them.