It seems like depression seems to be hitting the blogosphere. At least with the people I read online.
Two of the biggest bloggers, The Bloggess and Hyperbole and a Half have both recently detailed their journeys through depression, just in the past week.
So, since I’m a big follower and not much a leader, I’m going to take my turn! (Following that is. Not sure if that was clear.)
Yes, I am depressed. Although, quite truthfully, I’m pretty much out of it.
But there was a time recently where it was hard to get out of bed, go to work, and do other normal things. I had to really force myself to just be a responsible human.
And the worst part was that I didn’t exactly know what was going on. Also, I have a therapist and take medicine!
But, still it was happening. I didn’t have it nearly as badly as others, but it was ever-present.
I was on the subway once, and I actually had a thought that went something like this:
I totally understand how some people throw themselves onto the tracks.
That line from Warren Zevon really stuck out:
“I lay my head on the railroad track, waiting on the EE
The railroad don’t run no more, poor, poor pitiful me”
Thoroughly depressed? Ha. Nice.
So, this weekend, after a few months I sort of snapped out of it. I just realized I could go out and do things that made me happy. To a normal person this is so obvious. But to me, for months I hardly moved.
Sure, I went to events, paid bills, performed at work, and took care of my house and pets, but I was in a funk. And not the cool kind of funk, like George Clinton.
Here’s what I did this weekend:
- Made Pasta Fagioli
I would love to tell you that I did something super manly like losing a tooth in a rugby tournament or punching out a nun. But I made a delicious Italian soup. I felt like an ever bigger sissy going to Panera Bread and ordering two breadbowls. Both were for me.
- Picking up a wreath
My mom, in an extreme act of kindness has not only given me a free car this month, but also ordered a custom wreath for my condo. She had a designer do it, and so I went and picked it up. It’s awesome.
- Getting Something Framed
I was in Santa Fe last month and I bought this print. During my depression I went and got it framed. I was so bummed out I was like, “I don’t even want to go pick it up! I don’t deserve it!” Anyway, I finally got it. I think it’s a cheetah or some shit. I dig it.
- Hang Out With Pets
If you don’t have pets or kids, go get some. Maybe start with pets. They poop less.
So, I’m not sure I know anything more about depression other than to feel some of it, sit with it, and then go out and do stuff that’s fun. I even got myself to the gym yesterday for the first time in months.
Lastly, thank you to all my readers. I am constantly so grateful for the emails I receive almost daily and the comments you write. I’m glad you appreciate me talking about myself.
Which is all I ever wanted to do (just ask my ex-wife and friends).
It’s super annoying.
P.S. Oh, I do have to tell you the absolute greatest joke I have ever written. Next time you’re in an elevator feel free to use it.
Hey, those floor buttons must be bummed out.
(wait for, “Why?”)
Because they’re always getting de-pressed.
Screw off if you don’t like puns. I love them.
Gutmeister says:
Depression always seems to come around in patches. It’s never just one person. Myself, never feeling the effects of real depression, I can’t say I know what it’s like to go through it. I know what it’s like for others, at least for my wife, my mother, etc.
The most depressed I get is when I cook up a bunch of BBQ for the Redskins game and then find out that DirecTV isn’t working for some reason. Even then I’m usually just pissy.
Karen (Chick in a Box) says:
Thank you. Your joke at the end literally made me laugh out loud… a snort laugh. In front of my co-workers. Now I’m pretty sure they think I’m a loony. It’s OK though. You were funny. well, your joke was funny. Glad you’re almost out of your depression and that you get to talk about yourself, since you are clearly a great subject to talk/write about.
Miss Lego says:
looking for gun doesn’t seem like something a depressed person would do on his own, but well, I guess everyone is unique…and, since it’s kind of trendy as you said, I also know what it feels like. Not good.
Bleu Pills says:
The Bloggess – she is possibly the greatest, most perfectly, perfect blogger if only because: She get’s it. I was actually reading her blog when going through my own severe bout with postpartum depression and she “out” herself to try to drop the stigma associated with anxiety/depression.
If I wasn’t married – I would try to marry her. And yes, my husband knows this 🙂
P.S. You never answered my email about the artwork on your blog. I love it.
Linda_AJ says:
Depression has been around a lot more lately, myself included. I blame the weather!
Dooce, one of my absolute favourite bloggers and someone I look to for inspiration at times when am down, is also suffering through something herself. Her ways of dealing with it which are close to what you do, seem to be the way to go.
Keep on going, man.
D.J. Paris says:
@Linda_AJ Thanks – this was an old post, so things have definitely improved. I’m a HUGE Dooce fan, and she’s basically the biggest blogger on the planet. A great template for the rest of us.
Pesh says:
Great post! I too have dealt with my bouts of “extreme and persistent sadness” (I don’t use the “D” word).. This post inspires me to write more about my lowest points in life, now that I am able to reflect on them in a humorous way. Thanks for sharing!