Cartoons I Never Made – Part II


Many years ago I thought I could make it as a cartoon writer.   Turns out you need to find someone who could draw to help bring my boners to life.

Note : “Boners” is a word last century that used to be in the vernacular to mean jokes.   Now it just means, well, boners.

If you missed part I of my series, read up.   Here’s part II.


  • Scene : Young Man About To Throw A Shot Put
  • Description :   A young man is inside the shot put circle.   Behind and above him is a banner that reads, “Disabled Youth Olympics.”   The young man is missing one arm, and is balancing the shot put between his stump and his chin.   His normal arm is extended for balance.   To the side his coach is yelling at him.
  • Punchline : “No, Randy, the GOOD arm!   Use the GOOD arm!”
  • Commentary : Okay, the idea of a disabled athlete not realizing you can’t throw the shot put very far with a nub is hilarious.   Enough said.
  • Scene : Classroom
  • Description : Teacher is standing in front of the class.   The blackboard shows a simple division problem waiting to be solved.   The teacher is looking and pointing sternly at a young man, who we can see from the back.
  • Punchline : “I said – I can’t come to the blackboard because I’m trying to conceal this outrageous boner!”
  • Commentary : Every male can relate to this.   Even South Park, years ago, basically did this same joke.   I’m just glad we both thought of it.   Those guys are funny!
  • Scene : Broadcaster’s Box At Baseball Game
  • Description : From the back, we can see two radio announcers in the broadcaster’s box.   From their vantage, the field is visible with the players looking up to the scoreboard, which is behind center field.   One of those big Jumbotron video screens is above the scoreboard, the camera pointed at a woman performing fellatio on a man sitting in the stands.
  • Punchline : “For some reasons the players have stopped, and hey… isn’t that your wife, Al?”
  • Commentary : Every few years some romantic yahoos decide to engage in sex up in the rafters of a major league stadium.   And, of course, it’s recorded by some 13 year old and uploaded to YouTube.   Well, not YouTube, but whatever sites like those sorts of videos.   I just thought it would be funny to have a broadcaster finding out his wife is cheating on him during a game he commentates, and the whole stadium finding out at the same time.
More to come!!!

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