While I’m off on vacation, my favorite bloggers will be posting some guest spots. Here’s one from Kate Hall at CanIGetAnotherBottleofWhine
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One of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when I had a colonoscopy. I was having some issues in my “backyard” (rectum). And since I’m a hypochondriac, I immediately scheduled an appointment with my internist, hoping he could ease my mind with a quick diagnosis or refer me to a specialist.
I have this new friend – turns out we grew up just a few miles away from each other and know the same people.
In fact one of my more popular stories about the time I saw a high school classmate naked is a friend of hers. She even crafted half of my upcoming book’s title today, and her suggestions were better than what I had penned.
I fought about something and then found out I was totally wrong yesterday.
Getting into it with my parents is not on my must-do list. I’d just rather not. They’re lovely enough people and I just come off like a spoiled brat. Which maybe I am. I mean, they are pretty generous.
Tonight the men’s group I’m in had a holiday party at a local pizzeria called Marie’s.
Famous Chicago pizza place that is two-thirds liquor store and one-third restaurant. It’s been around since 1940 and looks like it was last updated in 1971. The decor is ruby red and all-longue. They decided to go balls-in for the holiday decorations and the results were impressive. I love this place.
You don’t look like Ken!
These were among the first words spoken to me by TheAnimatedWoman, J.C. Little. For months the AimingLow staff has been referring to me as Ken (of Barbie’s harem), probably because I took the only hunky photo of me and plastered it everywhere online. Just Google one of my stories and you’ll see it next to the search result. In person I’m quite normal looking. I have virtually no muscle definition and my skin is ghostly pale. I’m not a monster, but nobody’s plucking me out of obscurity to dance with Thunder From Down Under.
There are times when I geniunely say thing I oughtn’t. Yeah, I know. We’ll all do.
But let me give you an example of my version of this gaffe. Back in college I worked at the local grocery in the photo lab. Most of the people I dealt with were students, usually sorority girls dropping off last night’s drunken formal shots. One of my flirting techniques was to say…
I came home seething mad.
The whole bike ride from work I could feel something powerful. A slow warmth seemed to spread the faster I pedaled. I was listening to my regular music and podcasts and nothing obvious was instigating this sensation. Ironically, the harder I pushed myself on the bike path the more intense the warmth became. This surge of powerful energy kept rising. I didn’t think much about it, as I notice some version of this on most Fridays. I was forward thinking to the burrito I would purchase and the Doctor Who I was going to watch. These are exciting thoughts to me. But this time the energy was more intense than usual.
Okay, I’ve been writing about this kind of thing a lot lately, but I have to own something embarrassing.
In my condo I have bay windows in the family room. My windows look out over a courtyard and also across the way at my neighbor’s unit. Since there’s only thirty-three units in the building we all sort of know each other. If you don’t know somebody’s first name you certainly know their face.
I could not have been more excited to come to BlogHer 2012, the top women’s blogging conference in the country. There are five thousand female bloggers and seventeen men. I’m not totally sure on the actual men’s count, but it can’t be much higher. I’m here because many bloggers I love told me to come.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
