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My First Bidet - #LetsTalkBums • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories
Site icon Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories

My First Bidet – #LetsTalkBums

Cottonelle asked me to write about my first bidet experience – I told them to screw off because D.J. only does bidet humor on video!

Seriously, and they’re not paying me to say this (well, they are sponsoring the blog, but did not specifically ask me to say this), Cottonelle has the best damned toilet paper in these United States. And their adult wipes are important to my overall well-being. I’m hooked.

If you don’t see the video below (because you are using a mobile browser or on my Apple or Android app), click here to watch!

This a story I just plumb forgot about. If I ever open up a retail store, it’s going to be nothing but bidets and urinals for the middle class. We deserve what the rich have already figured out. Until then, just use the wipes.

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