Tonight was the official Come As You Are Party hosted by both AimingLow and TheMouthyHousewives. I was all set to watch the closing keynote at BlogHer when Leila of Don’tSpeakWhinese told me to get my ass down to the party as they needed help setting up. I arrived and those bitches put me to work.
I got to meet the people that I respect more than just about anyone online. All hilarious, brilliant, and fun women that I’ve been chatting with for months. It’s nice to find your tribe, and I felt instantly accepted and connected. That’s what is known by orthopedic surgeons as a “good thing.” Oh, I should add that I hang with a lot of orthopedic surgeons. Down with gout!
The surgeon thing didn’t read back as funny as it sounded in my head. T.S., readers! (people never say, “T.S.!” any more. Let’s bring it back. Start saying it at work until the whole office adopts it. Then bring it home and let the kids run wild with it. Lastly, get it tattooed on your upper thigh. And then wear micro-minis so that creepy guys can drop pennies under you, reach down to pick them up, and while they’re looking up to get a glimpse of your fern, they get the tattooed message.
I’m really loopy tonight. Forgive me.
During the party both Robin Plemmons and Una LaMarche would write funny phrases on stickers for people. Mine said, “I’m pretty sure I’m Kosher.” Sometimes they’d write directly on people.
Leila ran an area where there were all sorts of wigs and tutus and silly hats. Plemmons had made up these great and offensive signs that people would hold up and Schmutzie’s husband took photos. I can’t post some of them here as they contain worse words than above.
I, along with Jasmine (need to insert her website as I don’t have it handy) handed out coffee traveling mugs and buttons. We basically insulted nearly everyone who came up to our booth. She is funnier than me, and I’m pretty damned funny. I don’t remember much of what I said to bloggers, but toward the end a woman told me she had five kids. I confirmed that she was Catholic and then reminded her, “You know it’s okay to switch religions, right?”
Bottom line – I’m honored to be part of AimingLow and now BlogHer. I’m excited to party with the AL staff again in October at their Non-Conference in Atlanta. I couldn’t be happier to know these skanks.
Side note – many AimingLow writers were awarded BlogHer’s Voices of the Year which is a huge deal. One of my close AL pals, J.W. Moxie, was nominated and couldn’t attend because she’s a teacher and school’s starting. She deserves a special shout out for this award and also for redesigning my website logo when I never asked her. She’s just that kind of gal.
Off to bed to dream about my teeth falling out. I haven’t had that one in years, and I’m going to try to conjure it up. I think you can do that, right?
bratfink says:
My mom had 7 kids then changed religions. To Jehovah’s Witnesses. Oh how I wish she had remained Catholic. Fucked up MY childhood. But I’m OK now. Glad ya had a good time!
Una says:
Check me out, commenting! We’re BFFs now, get used to it.
Stephen Battey says:
Sounds like you had a lot of fun!
Hopefully I will be able to attend BlogHer next year – sounds like my kind of crowd.
Kymberli says:
Awww, thanks for remembering a gangsta. I feel all special to know that I was missed. At least I know I’ll get to meet you in October at the Non-Con!
RachRiot says:
T.S.?? As in tough shit? You want me to tattoo that on my upper thigh? That *would* be more convenient than actually telling my husband “no” when he proposes sexy-time. I could just point to the sign… Thanks!!
Craziness Abounds says:
Lookin like you had a blast! Good for you. 🙂
ModMomBeyondIndieDom says:
It was truly a stellar shindig. Any event involving hordes of funny people, snarky oven mitts, alcohol, insults, drunken circus photos and Mac & cheese is a priority on my calendar. ‘Twas a pleasure to have met and hung with you, my balloonicorned friend. Btw…did you miss the chiuahua action at the runway show? Free doggie Halloween costumes too! Boo yah!
JustJasmine says:
You still haven’t linked my blog… which means you are losing jewels in your crown in heaven.
DontSpkWhinese says:
Aren’t you SO glad you are friends with me?? “Leila didn’t respond to any of my texts… until tonight” and then I put your ass to work 🙂
Seriously… you and Jasmine manning the swag table took a huge amount of stress off of us. You being there added to the awesomeness. PS- I will respond to your messages in like 5 days as usual ha!
Babypop says:
Loved your recape of the party I missed it. Love the picture of Liz above.. Glad you had a good time.
JoAnneMeadows says:
Sounds like a great party………….
Faiqa says:
You did a great job as our swag bitch. Might make it off of JV squad after all, buddy. XO
Shosh says:
I was just posting on my blog about Blogher, and I found your page. I put a sticker on you! You were awesome. I think I said silly things to you…
hollowtreeventures says:
Typical – I wish I’d read this post yesterday. I just got my T.S. tattoo a few hours ago, but in the wrong place. How embarrassing.
D.J. Paris says:
@hollowtreeventures Did you get it in the b-hole? Share!
D.J. Paris says:
@Shosh Oh man, were you the one that told me you blog about yarn? Please say yes.
D.J. Paris says:
@Faiqa I need to submit a piece. Been forever. But thanks!
D.J. Paris says:
@JoAnneMeadows It was a lot of fun. The AimingLow writers are the BEST.
D.J. Paris says:
@Babypop Liz rocks and so do I. Thanks!
D.J. Paris says:
@DontSpkWhinese Well, you’re busy writing books and dumping guys. I understand.
D.J. Paris says:
@JustJasmine I linked it! Go therapize someone!
D.J. Paris says:
@Craziness Abounds You must come next year to Chicago for BlogHer 13!
D.J. Paris says:
@ModMomBeyondIndieDom It was a great time. I really didn’t get to meet the Housewives although I hear they’re great. So glad I could meet you!
D.J. Paris says:
@RachRiot Wait – wives are allowed to turn down their husbands for sexy-time? This is a disturbing development.
D.J. Paris says:
I need to send you over some posts. Remind me to fire over, “Don’t Trust Grown Women Under 5’3″ and 87 lbs.”
D.J. Paris says:
You should totally come. We need more dudes.
D.J. Paris says:
@Kymberli Uh, we did meet! Oh wait, this was written four months back. Ignore.
D.J. Paris says:
@bratfink Well, at least you got to celebrate birthd…. Oh wait, forget I said anything. Yes, I’m sorry for you.
Craziness Abounds says:
I wish. lol Are you gonna guide me around and babysit? Kidding of course. If I ever go out that way I will let you know for sure. Hope you like reading menu’s cause we are going out to eat and you’ll be doing the reading. 🙂