The Time This Girl That I Had a Crush On In High School Came Up To Me Totally Naked and Hugged Me

stip club girls
I take it all back. I could definitely engage in this fantasy.

I’ve never been a strip club guy.

The idea of paying a woman a considerable amount of money to pretend that she likes me seems so artificial that I can’t bring myself to engage with the fantasy.

Also, I sort of believe that if I’m really wanting to find a girl to sleep with, that I can probably go out and, if I tried, make that happen.   It’s just not that hard – there are a ton of lonely people out there.   And since I never had a one-night stand that felt good in the morning, I don’t really do that anymore. READ MORE

Going On a Date Tonight… With Dad

I’ve lived in Chicago for over ten years and never been to The Goodman Theatre.   I’ve seen a dozen or so Broadway performances when they make their way here, but have not visited the most well–respected performance company in the city.
This is particularly strange for me as I’ve been to over fifty crappy Cubs games despite the fact that I don’t follow baseball and couldn’t name one player on the team. READ MORE

Sam Cornwell Reviews ThoughtsFromParis.com

If Sam Cornwell isn’t the funniest guy in the world, he’s certainly the funniest guy in the UK.

(well, next to Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant, and even that so-so Eddie Izzard guy)

Here he is reviewing my website in the kind and gentle way for which he is known. READ MORE

I Played Dress Up For Fun

I wore a nice shirt and tie to work today.

For the previous year I have been in nothing more upscale then my Lucky Brand jeans.   In the summer I wear shorts and a polo shirt.

Mostly this is because I bike to work every day, which leaves me completely soaked with perspiration by the time I enter the office.   Since I shower in the morning, I don’t smell bad. I towel off the sweat in the bathroom and change clothes. READ MORE

ThoughtsFromParis Now Has Business Cards! (Just Like Your Dad!)

I decided that since I'm scheduled to attend BlogWorld in Los Angeles in November, I should get some business cards to hand out.

And even though business cards lost all practicality around 1997, it still seemed like the right thing to do.

We all know that nobody really likes it when you force a business card at someone unwarranted.   It's a douche move, plain and simple. READ MORE

PervSearch – Things About Excrement

I’m sure you’re aware, but if not, there are a TON of degenerate scumbags who troll the internet.   And for some reason, many more that I would have imagined find my website.   This feature is inspired by the awful people who type even more awful things into Google and find my website.   I call it… READ MORE