My girlfriend will tell you she’s my #1 fan. My friends say the same. The parents brag about how funny I am. They’re most likely being more nice than anything. And they’re not my true biggest fans.
Well, at least not anymore.
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These are posts that will go in the blog, under the slider
My UK Radio Interview Is Live!
My new pal Jodie Orton from SirenFM put the interview she did with me on YouTube. You probably missed it live (as I did), so here’s your chance to check it out. I found out that she did make a few edits to the segment, and I wanted to share with you the exact conversation we had when she told me. Unlike her, I will display the conversation in full without censor. Videos down below!
10,000 Tweeps
Back when I went to BlogWorld I wasn’t sold on using Twitter to find new readers. I really didn’t understand what Twitter was despite having used it for over two years. I had a smattering of followers and no idea how to get more. Ironic because I was attending the largest social media event of the year.
Explicit Text Message From a Desperate Man
I imagine every woman has one of these stories.
This morning, my girlfriend received a text message from a guy she went out with a few times over a year ago. They haven’t spoken since, and I don’t think he even lives in the same state.
The message was something like, “I know I’m not supposed to say this, but I really want to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.” And I’m not bleeping it out because it’s suggestive. I’m bleeping it out because it’s crazy graphic. It was very specific. Oddly specific.
I’m Going to Walk For Some Damn Dogs!
Every year I do exactly one charitable thing.
On May 5th I’ll be walking (I think it’s two miles) with my dog, Lil’ Miss Meepers, and a few thousand other dogs and owners for Anti-Cruelty. It’s called Bark in the Park, and it goes to support the largest no-kill animal shelter in Illinois.
6 Days Since Cat Pee
Normal cats don't sleep like this. And what the nuts am I doing? Giving birth?
I’m introducing a new and SO INSANELY EXCITING feature on my blog that you might literally have a coronary reading the very next sentence.
I have installed a timer to display the number of days, hours, and minutes since the last time my cat Pantaloons peed on the bed where I sleep. Right on this very blog.
This Post Isn’t Funny – Sorry, Yo
A few months ago, to eat better and save a few dollars, I decided to bring my own lunch every day to work. I’ve been working professionally since I was twenty-one, and why I have failed to do this up until now, I have no idea.
It’s something small that I do for myself every morning. Actually I do three things that are healthy.
Prozac in the Ears (and on my fingertips)
She cleans me the same way after I fall asleep. I don't dislike it.
The only thing worse about somebody that has cats is somebody who writes about cats.
So, let’s get started.
If you’re new to this blog, you might not be aware of the seemingly endless saga of my cat peeing outside her litter pan. This is particularly bothersome because I am a fantastic owner. My ex-wife is also a veterinarian. But before I left this weekend for a trip, Pantaloons was kind enough to pee on both the beds in my condo. Within sixteen hours.
