These are posts that will go in the blog, under the slider
Years ago I used to bother celebrities on Twitter and write about the interactions.
I called it CelebTweets. After a few posts went live a television producer contacted me with an idea. If I wrote fifty more of these she could pitch it to publishers and get a book made.
The best thing about the internet is that I don’t have to know anything anymore.
There was a time, up until about fifteen years ago where I really needed to know stuff in order to get along in the world. During social engagements I’d rattle off facts and stats about a topic that I knew something about. Appearing smart by knowing information was important. If I didn’t know as much about a subject as I wanted to, in the moment I just might make up some shit about it. I’m not proud of this but it happened.
I sent out a dangerous tweet.
It read, “I will write an entire blog post about whatever the first person to respond wants.” The first reply was a total misfire – @amoldkevin said, “me.” While I appreciate his tenacity, I can’t write about someone I don’t know. He graciously passed the torch to @brendasarg who asked, “How about how to get your blog out there without spamming the shit out of everyone? Upping readership?”
I spend every day with you – your daily life is boring!
This is what my co-worker said tonight as I was driving him home. He’s not a jerk, I promise. We were talking about my blog and he asked how it was going. I told him that this month I’m committed to writing a post every day. He was curious how I find content since I have such a normal, not-hilarious job.
I weighed in this afternoon at a meaty 223.8 lbs.
This is quite an accomplishment for a man that could eat whatever he wanted up until two years ago. Hell, five years ago I was at 175. I’m just shy of 6’3″ and should clock in between 190-200lbs. That’s ideal for me.
I don’t think I’ve ever written about a product that inspired me.
Well, I’ve tweeted about the Squatty Potty. It’s changing my life. Hands down, the best $25 I’ve spent. Actually, I didn’t spend the money. I asked my girlfriend for it for Christmas. How’s that for a trusting relationship? We had only been dating around four months at the time. Anyway, I recommend you check it out. Trust me.
My friend received a crazy note on her car yesterday.
She had not done the best parking job. She works in a high rise building in the downtown area of Chicago. The garage where she parks is only ever around half full. She woke up late and was hustling to work. By the time she made it to the parking garage she was flustered. She parked the car in a half-assed manner and ran to the elevator. Because of all the empty space she didn’t think twice about it.
Tonight the girlfriend met my entire family.
Beth had already been introduced to my mother a few months ago. We were back in Peoria at a friend’s wedding and my mom happened to be in town. My father had driven to Alabama that weekend as my sister had bought him football tickets for his alma matter. My sister lives in NYC and hadn’t been to Chicago or Peoria lately.
Some time ago I received a private message from a reader.
In this note the person claimed to be having an affair with another of my readers. I thought this was the coolest thing. Two readers met on my blog and fell in love! When I inquired further, however, the person mentioned that both are currently married. That made me feel less good. I ceased inquiring.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
