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Promote Your Blog On My Blog Right Now – Take VI

Wil Wheaton Shocker

Holy jumping Jesusfish! It’s been over four months since I let you promote your crappy blog on my crappy blog!

And it’s time, like that ridiculous phoenix everyone talks about metaphorically (but nobody actually knows the story) and rise from the ashes.

Today, and for the next twenty-four hours, you get to pimp out your blog in the comment section of my blog. Get some new followers! Increase your internet exposure. Make friends with other bloggers!

Wait… not so fast, Turbo.

You gotta earn the free plug.

In the past I’ve made you write me poetry or reveal something embarrassing about you that nobody else knows. Let’s do something equally awesome.

In order to promote your blog, this time you must tell me something embarrassing about your father.

Maybe he farts in front of your friends. Calls your best friend Brent when it’s really Brett. Only tips out at 10%. Runs around the house in his underwear, and they’re not boxer briefs but tight whites.

My most popular story is the one where I saw my father’s donger as an adult. I’ve already done my work. Now do yours.

This is a great way to kick off Father’s Day next month. Or not a great way. I don’t know. Don’t really care.

So remember, start the comment with… My father is embarrassing because he  ______________.
Then put your blog underneath and tell us what it’s all about!

Special thanks to oSex co-host Karen who came up with this concept.  Watch our latest episode!

Wil Wheaton Shocker

We always use a Wil Wheaton photo to do these posts. This one is inappropriate.

photo credit: WilWheaton via photopin cc

Comments 74

  1. The Shitastrophy

    My father was literally shit on by an entire flock of seagulls on a trip once. It hit the deck of the boat we were on and splattered all over his legs, it was EVERYWHERE!

    Seems fitting since my blog is TheShitastrophy.com – it is one of my original Shitastrophies!

  2. Jen

    My father is embarrassing because he saves his toenail clippings for the entire year, wraps them up and gives them to me as a Christmas gift. He thinks it’s funny and I just want to vomit.

  3. K. Cross

    My father is embarrassing because he didn’t know when my birthday was when I asked him. It doesn’t get much worse than that, right?

    My writing blog is still under construction. Be kind.

    kcrosswriting.com

  4. Janine

    My father was embarrassing when he ATE the floral centrepiece of pansies at a function. He may have had a few too many beers in the lead up!

    My blog is http://shambolicliving.com/ it’s a little bit funny, a little bit serious and basically tells the tale of one tired mother, with an untidy house, imperfect children and no celebrity friends.

  5. Katjaneway

    My dad is embarrassing because when he farts he blames the dog. But when the dog farts he’ll blame himself!

    http://katjaneway.blogspot.com/ This is a public journal of my miss-adventures! Sometimes I’m funny, sometime I’m sad, sometimes I’m just plain crazy! Hurry and grab this deal before it’s gone, gone, GONE!

  6. Jane

    When I was a kid, my dad used to crank out these massive pew-rocking farts in church. Usually during prayers. And he would keep his eyes closed, re-adjust his posture…and grunt Amen. He may still do this. I don’t know…I moved to the other side of the country.

    Thanks for the opportunity to promote our blogs and, in some of our cases obviously, relive some painfully embarrassing incidents that clearly should be talked out in therapy.

    http://www.mylifeasjane.com

  7. Elizabeth K

    My dad’s embarrassing because he announced to my college boyfriend (now husband), at the family dinner table, that he was worried about (boyfriend’s) regularity. He also thinks bad breath is caused by constipation.

    Naturally, I write about dogs, cats, life and excrement at my blog, The Chronicles of Cardigan. Here’s a post I wrote (2 years ago) about the embarrassing thing I just admitted to up there, on (Paris’) a complete stranger’s blog.
    http://www.chroniclesofcardigan.com/2011/03/theres-turd-in-litterbox-somebody.html

  8. Christen

    My dad doesn’t make me feel embarrassed so much as I just feel embarrassed FOR him. Does that count? Like last summer when he came to visit me & my sisters and despite the well-publicized fact that he’s been through rehab like, 50 times, he still kicked back with a beer at a cozy family gathering. I know, that’s not really funny. It’s just sad.

    Just like my blog sometimes! Funny, sad, totally inane. I like to write. It’s just questionable if I have anything to say. http://christen-thompson.blogspot.com/

  9. Mrs. Lowrey

    My father has embarrassed me in many ways over the years. His ever present flat top hair, rolled up bottoms on his jeans, and the ever present pack of cigs on the rolled up right sleeve of his white tee…. all worn well into the Madona era of the 1980’s… THAT should at least be mentioned! The MOST embarrassing dad fun-fact however is this: My dad’s first name is Richard – but he goes by “Dick”. There you have it! My dad prefers DICK!

    Thanks DJ. I feel much better after having shared that.

    http://deepthoughtsbymrslowrey.com
    Theme: One woman’s musings on the inane of life.

    The thoughts there are not always deep. In fact, there may be only one deep thought on the entire site. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t even mine.

    I should probably have named it shallowramblingsbythatoddchickwiththedadwhoprefersdick.com – but that URL wouldn’t fit within twitters character limit. Plus – I’d probably misspell it two out of two times and – Jack Handy started it in the 70’s and since it is doubtful he’ll sue cause he’s not even a real person – Deep Thoughts by Mrs. Lowrey it is – until the lawyers tell me otherwise anyway.

  10. Andrea

    MY father is embarrassing because he tells very wordy stories. I mean, the man is VERBOSE. He like uses a hundred words to say what five words would say. He also repeats himself sometimes. The man just loves to tell stories using a bunch of words.

    I’m so glad that I didn’t get those genes.

    Anyway, I’m Andrea at http://about100percent.com. I muse about my pitiable life there. Like most other bloggers do. Except I’m hilarious. In my own mind.

  11. Sarah

    My father is embarrassing because…oh wait, my dad left us and I haven’t seen him in 12 years. Most embarrassing thing I can remember…finding him past out wearing pantyhose. Parent fail.

    I write things here – http://mayonnaisepants.com/
    I make grammatical errors and say bad words.

  12. Alecia

    My father is embarrassing because one time someone set our mailbox on fire. We were awakened by the door bell ringing and my Dad got the fire extinguisher. He went down to the mailbox and what I saw next made me laugh – he had to read the instructions on the fire extinguisher by the light of the fire in order to put it out! I just sat on the driveway watching and laughing.

    My website is detoursinlife.com. I talk about the detours I’ve taken and are taking in life – weight loss surgery and now rheumatoid arthritis. Detours may seem like a pain in the rear, but if you enjoy the scenery, you might see something inspiring!

  13. StuntedAdults

    My father is embarrassing because, when he was 8 years old, he wore his Hop-Along Cassidy chaps around the neighborhood after school. He did not know he was supposed to wear pants underneath, and they were of the ass-less variety. I then had to grow up in that same neighborhood and hear about his legendary ride around the ‘hood at least once a week. It was special…

    Come on over and hang out in my strange little corner of the interwebs.

    Today, there is a mystery afoot and I’m getting my Nancy Drew on, because it’s either a ghost or Greg Louganis.

    http://stuntedadults.com/2013/05/15/its-either-a-ghost-or-greg-louganis/

    Enjoy!

  14. XB

    When I was a kid, my dad was embarrassing because he farted during dinner nearly every night. The louder it was, the harder he laughed. I left home for college more than 20 years ago, so I am not sure if he still does that to my mom.

    My website is: http:www.themorningwaves.blogspot.com

  15. Heather

    My father is embarrassing because he is quite literally deaf as a doornail. He refuses to get his hearing checked and will sooner nod at his conversation partner with a blank or bemused look on his face, agreeing with anything and everything they say rather than actually see a doctor and be granted the ability to hear. It’s remarkable the amount of times the words “I’m pregnant” have been misheard during our conversations.

    http://www.leaveednow.blogspot.ca/

    A Love Affair. My blog started out as an independent project for my honors thesis in Sociology. It’s developed into my true love, outlet, and most favorite pastime. It documents my bitchings and rantings about fatism, the beauty cult, and all kinds of other fun stuff that’s wrong with our society. Along with some more academic reading, the blog also follows my recovery through Anorexia Nervosa, with which I’ve been diagnosed in October. Take a look, I promise, it isn’t as heavy and boring as you may think! (heavy, get it?).

  16. Scott Lee Williams

    My father is embarrassing, because when he believes that he is receiving sub-par service in restaurants, he will get up and replenish his own coffee or water from the server station.

    I write a blog entitled Four Each Day, where I write four sentences, every day, about something that happened in the previous 24 hours. I try to keep them witty, or at the very least interesting, but often the most interesting thing is the tortured punctuation I use to get my stories in under the arbitrary four line limit.

    To see my experiments in storytelling and creative uses of the semi-colon, please come visit my blog at http://foureachday.blogspot.com, and thanks.

    1. Kate Hall

      That’s funny! My mom used to embarrass me in restaurants. She always got the “butt-end” of the tomato and would ask for her food to be taken back and fixed or cooked longer about 80% of the time. To a teen that was totally embarrassing.

      1. Scott Lee Williams

        Default mode for a teen in public with his parents is dying of embarrassment, and that’s when they’re acting normally.

        Then they do something really egregious (e.g. getting the waiter in the Mexican restaurant to take a picture of the table, and insisting everyone say “El Cheeso!”) and even death is no longer enough.

  17. Emelie

    My father can’t say “Stella Artois” correctly… He says “Stella Dora”. We’ve never corrected him.

    I write a humor blog about my many awkward and embarrassing moments in life (and my friends’ lives). That, and I’m best friends with John Hamm. Okay, not really, but she chose that as her alias. My mom also wants to wear assless chaps… She rides horses. No, that is not a metaphor.

    http://awkwardlyaliveandpleasantlypeculiar.com

    1. Terrye

      I got stuck in a pair of chaps once. Yes, there was whiskey involved. But a nice cowboy rescued me. And that’s all I have to say about that.

  18. Katy Bug

    My father is embarrassing because he told a very long, drawn out story about my first spanking at my high school band banquet when I was in 12th grade. Our band was pretty big (200+) and the band banquet is supposed to be a nice event. Or at least as classy as an event can be for a bunch of stupid high schoolers and their parents. Anyway he told the story, which took at least ten minutes, in a really theatrical way. He obviously wrote it weeks before and rehearsed it a lot. He told my boyfriend to yank my chair away and made me stand up the entire time. To make it worse, he told it during the band banquet traditional senior roast when STUDENTS come up to tell funny stories about the graduating band members. He wasn’t even supposed to be up there in the first place, and he took up more time than was originally allotted for the entire roast.

    Oh, the spanking? I was about a year old. Daddy spanked me because… Sigh. Because I stuck my head in the toilet, blew bubbles in the (thankfully clean) water and just splashed around right good – butt naked! Thank God I only had a few weeks of high school left, because my nickname instantly became Bubbles. I have never been so humiliated in my life. The story itself doesn’t bother me so badly. In fact, I’ll tell it to anyone if it comes up in conversation. (Be honest. Have you ever had a conversation that didn’t bring up spankings and blowing bubbles in the toilet?) What was so embarrassing is the way Daddy told the story, and how he jumped right in front of my fellow band members to tell this long, theatrical story about me sticking my head in the toilet and getting a spanking. He even used words like “shining globes” to refer to my naked butt sticking out of the toilet.

    My blog is about my adventures in knitting, crochet, and video games. I discuss books sometimes, too. I call myself a Domestic Nerd because of my vastly different interests. My blog, http://www.wildblueyoshi.com, is meant to be a safe haven where I can let my nerd flag fly while knitting up a storm. Also: pictures of my cats and poop jokes.

  19. Jane

    My father is embarrassing because…when I was a kid, he used to ignite some mortifying, pew-rocking farts in church. This was usually during prayer times when the church was absolutely silent. He would let it rip, modify his sitting position ever so slightly…and then with eyes closed, mumble “Amen”.

    I’m not sure what relationship he had with God that required this type of offering. For all I know he may still do it. I don’t know…I moved to the other side of the country.

    Thanks for letting us promote our blogs here and – in many cases it seems – divulge memories that obviously require much more therapy. Oh, and cheers to the other farting fathers!

    http://www.mylifeasjane.com – I have no format or general purpose. It’s just never serious. There’s too much “serious” in the world…I don’t need it to follow me home. Earlier this week I wrote about porn-loving volcanologists. You get the picture.

    Apologies if this post shows up twice. As Sarah would say – “phone fail”.

  20. Chris Davison

    My Father embarrassed me in oh so many ways, but mainly through his joy in wearing Ladies Underwear. Specifically, nickers. In his own words he ‘liked to know everything in the undercarriage was nice and restrained.’ The knowledge that he wore panties was bad enough, but when he started recommending them to my friends, that was worse. And when he would ask my girlfriends, in all seriousness, how they liked elasticated gussets… I didn’t have a lot of long term relationships with women after they met my Dad. Even when he died, he insisted on being cremated in his best suit and a pair of Black Victoria Secrets Panties, with a reinforced gusset and lace trim.
    I would at this point be apt to promote my own novels, website, various blogs, but the memory of Dad, sat with the football team and discussing the relative benefits of cotton over nylon … or the amount of men who came up to me at his funeral and told me how his advice on Lyrca had changed their lives….
    He was right though. When you get to a certain age, restraint and lifting does improve your life. Go for a cotton lycra mix.
    http://www.emfaustus.com

  21. Sharona Zee

    My father was embarrassing because he was always (always) at our schools. He was chummy with our teachers and principals, Mr. PTA President, etc. In the 60’s and 70’s that world was dominated by moms…he was the lone dad.
    He was available because he was disabled by terrible health (crippled by polio and juvenile onset diabetes). He had braces on his legs and walked with crutches, so he stood out in a crowd. He also ruled our family (4 girls) with an iron fist; we had the longest skirts and the shortest curfews of anyone in town.
    I longed for a “normal” dad who went to work in an office and came home and drank a couple of martinis while reading the evening paper.
    He died at age 44 in 1983 and I miss him still!
    Thanks D.J….you’ve made me realize that I really need to write about my Dad!

    Meanwhile, visit my current project at http://www.pmzee.com as I explore “Rebooting After 50″, my divorce recovery and mid-life dating!

  22. Kate Hall

    My dad used to fart and blame it on the dog. He still does this and the dog’s been dead for 25+ years. I don’t know how embarrassing that is, but my dad doesn’t like to be embarrassed so I’ll leave it at that. My embarrassing stories are up for grabs though, especially at my blog.

    Check out my crap at: http://www.canigetanotherbottleofwhine.com

    1. Terrye

      Kate is a must read. And I didn’t say this just because she pays me to be her friend. Ok, maybe I did. (Psst, Kate, the last check bounced! The bank said it’s cuz you signed it, “Your Pimp Daddy”)

  23. D

    My father is embarrassing because he tells the same stories over and over again, tells everybody how much his medicine costs, farts at the dinner table, and is racist.

    My blog is called The Therapy Journals of the Fat-Headed Klingon Woman. It’s basically just me talking about the things that make me crazy, that scare me, that I struggle with, that I question. It’s occasionally funny, sometimes thought-provoking, but hopefully always worth reading. My most recent posts were about booking my flights to a blog conference, finding a new school for my son, and auditioning for Little Theatre.

  24. TJ

    My father is embarrassing because… he tucks T-shirts into his jeans. Ok not on par with some of the other comments but it really ain’t a good look (& no he doesn’t complete the hipster look so it’s not ironic or cool in that offbeat way).
    He also can’t stand spiders or cockroaches & would all but climb on a chair & make one of us kids deal with it. So of course I also can’t stand them because that’s how it works – parents fuck us up. I’m trying not to do the same with my own daughter though…

    Thanks for letting me post my crap blog link on your wall. It’s only new… http://phunkblog.com :)

  25. Melanie

    my father is completely embarrassing because he pulls his jogging pants up like around his chin and then wears a belt on the outside of them. i pray that my friends are not driving by while he is out doing yard work! i still love you daddy. thanks for letting me share my crappy blog address http://tailsoffashion.com

    1. Terrye

      You mean that’s NOT how you’re supposed to wear jogging pants? Damn…I’ve been doing it wrong. Next, you’ll tell me that you don’t wear tank tops under your bra!

  26. Vicki Marie Stolsen

    My father was embarrassing because he was so full of himself!

    One night we were out drinking. Yes: me at fifteen, with my thirty-five year old pop, slinging down Coffee Nudges like they were Tollhouse cookies with milk. It was nineteen-seventy-something, and we were at a bar in Seattle’s University District, and the waitress had just delivered our fourth or fifth round. “Can I see some ID,” she finally asked, looking squarely into the baby fat of my drunken adolescent face. Before I could even think to respond, across the table came my father’s indignant retort, “Just a minute young lady; do you know who I am?”

    All fear of being arrested and sent off to juvey were immediately buried beneath the burn of shame as my pop, in a rambling alcohol fueled monologue, laid down the 411 on his credentials for notoriety, while implying her absolute stupidity in failing to recognize his status on the planet. “I’m a business agent in the Restaurant Union, and the guy who owns this place is screwing you and everyone else who works here into the wall so tight that you’ll bleed out before you’ll ever have benefits or a fair shot at a future!” Mute with horror, I wanted to make myself small (and sober) and slink away from the blow heart with the over inflated ego and the slurred words to broadcast it.

    Instead, I sat frozen; my only solace being the waitress seemed to have forgotten about me completely, as she looked down on dad, in either rapt attention or incredulous shock. The man did not stop to breath, bullshitting his way to self-regarded prominence, until the unthinkable occurred: saucer-eyed and curious, our waitress sat down next to pop, and started pushing for answers to her employment exploitation, and what he could do to help her.

    And help her he did, pulling out his business card, inviting her down to the union hall, and explaining he would take care of her personally, she just needed to call. This went on just long enough for me to drain that last candy cocktail, when she finally stood up again, needing to get back to her other tables. She took one look at my empty mug, and smiled down on pop, “Looks like you two are ready for another round?”

    My name is Vicki Marie Stolsen, and I write The Bachelor Blog at http://www.thebachelorchapters.com, promoting the release of THE BACHELOR CHAPTERS, my saucy, sexy and socially relevant memoir navigating dating and desire from a forty-something perspective. The book is X-rated, funny and inspired by Rush Limbaugh.

  27. carolyn given

    When I was a kid, my Dad was old enough to be my grandfather (Mom was his 3rd wife) — which I admit embarrassrf me. Eventually, he became too old to, technically, live. So I celebrate him with this post: http://carolyngivenwriter.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-writing-won-award-no-really.html The image of the phone reminds me of the one he used as sales manager for the Quaker Oats Company. Before he retired. When I was in the second grade. Which also embarrassed me.

  28. Anna

    This is great! Thanks for the opportunity.

    My Dad is embarrassing because he has a roll of toilet paper lodged in the dash of his truck in case he has to “stop” on the way into town. Front window. Drivers side. He also has a “pro nature conservancy” bumper sticker in case the message isn’t clear. He’s 80 and has just embraced gluten free/high fibre living.

    He in great part inspired my stand up comedy career and a good portion of my writing now.

    http://www.tooconvoluted.com/ – Everything Too Convoluted For Stage

  29. Terrye

    My father was embarrassing because he used to love to embarrass me at the checkout stand at any store we were at. He would make a production out of farting; lifting his leg like a dog getting ready to pee, then hop up and down while he farted, loudly. Then he’d announce, “damn, that was a good one!” Nothing like the love of a father for his only daughter.

    http://misplacedalaskan.com

  30. AlwaysARedhead

    Years ago, my father ran out of beer and with the car in the shop, he borrowed my 10-speed bike. There he was on a bike, that was far too small for him, in 90 degree weather, sweating up a storm, riding down the street carrying a 2-4 of beer.

    Now I blog about my embarrassing life. Thanks dad! http://www.alwaysaredhead.com

  31. Jaclyn

    My dad is super rude to waiters when he’s unhappy with something even if it’s not their fault. As in, compels you to stare at the waiter with a shameful look in your eyes pleading for forgiveness while you mouth the words ‘sorry’ rude. :::cringe:::

    I blog about my life as a Jewish American chick living in Cape Town, South Africa with my Zulu fiancé. Sometimes funny, sometimes introspective, always entertaining (at least I hope). http://www.zujewlife.com

  32. Natalie the Singingfool

    My father is embarrassing occasionally in restaurants. He’ll chat it up with the server sometimes when they obviously just want to go ahead with their crappy job – they don’t care about how the fish was caught or where this vintage hails from. My dad doesn’t always pick up on their disinterest.

    http://thecatladysings.com

  33. PunchAB

    My dad is embarrassing because he uses “on the nuts” instead of “on the dot”. Example – “It’s 12 on the nuts, we have to go!”

    No blog to promote, just had to share.

  34. Victoria

    My dad throws temper tantrums at stores with bad customer service, which usually ends up in him crashing a cart full of merchandise into an employee. When he storms out, I have to awkwardly apologize to the staff and remind myself never to go to that store again. It’s not so bad, really.

    http://www.greatgalantamine.com =)

  35. FaceMeetsPalm

    Oh lordy. A story about my embarrassing dad. Well, hm. Which one?

    Ah, here goes. My dad lives in North Carolina– several states away– and during hurricane season, if one heads up his way, he drives out into it just to watch the storm from the inside, all while trying to make videos with a phone he doesn’t know how to use yet.

    As for my blog it’s at http://facemeetspalm.wordpress.com, and I write stories there, each one thousand words or more. I’m currently a few days behind, so perhaps by the end of the week, you’ll see all those missing posts show up if you check it out. I’m working on my third catch-up post today!

  36. Liz

    My father alternately called my best friend from high-school “ham hocks” in reference to her weight/think thighs and Flip Wilson (when Flip was in drag: http://bit.ly/12yAHpy) which I still don’t understand because she was (still is) white. Well, I guess there were vague similarities with their hair…somehow, we are still best friends and she adores my father to this day….25 years later! Go figure!

  37. Becky Sangha

    My Dad is embarrassing because he always, always gets agitated at the wait staff at restaurants expecting they will “do something” about it — meaning, give him some or all of the meal for free. They never do, so he leaves without paying much, if any of a tip. My brothers and sisters and I always go back to put some cash on the table to make up for it.

    My blog isThe Online Video Marketer and I blog about using the “hottest” marketing & communications tool available for businesses today – VIDEO!

  38. Tarl

    I once pulled up to my dad’s house and he’s in the front yard in his superhero pajamas, bent over, ass in the air, cutting his grass with a pair of scissors. I had a friend with me and I’d like say he was doing this just to embarrass me, but this was his legitimate Thursday night.

    My blog is me sharing my asshole ways for millions to not read.

  39. Cecille

    My Dad was embarrassing due to the fact that every time my sisters (teens) have male friends over, dad will ask us to put the blow up bed in the living room and asked us to pretend that its bed time so their friends would leave even though its only like 8pm.

    My blog is just about my personal life , coping as a single mother, a betrayed wife and how i survived lots of family tragedies…I also writes a review about the countries i visited…and some traditionl recipes…it can also be humorous with a dash of 50 shades of Grey….(hair)

  40. Quirky Chrissy

    You know, I can’t think of one thing about my dad that I really find embarrassing. Sure, he sports tighty whities when there aren’t any non-family people around. Sure, he spends the entire summer shirtless with his dad belly. But he’s pretty damn endearing. And mostly a pretty quiet guy who just wants to sit in peace, drink his wine and enjoy his old man days where he can say and do whatever the hell he wants. Lucky him, I say!

  41. Carrie

    My father is embarrassing because every time he bends over, his crack a mile long is shown to all the world to see. The most embarrassing part – I think he is proud of it.

    http://whatyoulookingat2.blogspot.com – not really about anything. Just stuff. I have NO followers right now. Oh please, just like me for the heck of it PLEASE. and I don’t mind sounding desperate. PLEASE.

  42. Jessica

    My dad is embarrassing because:

    One year, he convinced himself he was turning 48 when he was turning 47. I had to sit down and do the Math with him. He said getting a year of his life back was the best gift ever.

    Once, some thugs tried to steal his lawnmower, and he shot out their truck tires with his gun.

    Long before he quit drinking, he was at a party with my young pregnant mother and didn’t want to leave….so, fueled by a metric ton of tequila, he climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down.

    In high school, he was kicked out of the library for being too loud, so he put a chicken from his parents’ farm in the book return thing.

    Actually, replace embarrassing with “awesome.” My dad rules.

    My blog is http://www.lifethroughtheseblueeyes.com. I haven’t updated it in ages because life has been crazy, but there will be a post up by the end of the weekend and then weekly thereafter. Probably.

  43. Dana Paris

    DJ… No more embarrassing stories of Dad, it is 2 years later and I am just recovering from the dad penis story… Love Dana

  44. Dana Paris

    DJ… No more embarrassing stories of Dad, it is 2 years later and I am just recovering from the dad penis story… Love Danau

  45. Eleanorjane

    My father is embarrassing ‘cos he’s such a douche I just go quiet when people start talking about their families. I can win any ‘complain about the parents’ session hands down.

    Happily my blog is much cheerier… Travel, style and things that make you go hmm…

  46. Jess

    I know I’m late to the game here but I fucking win. Here goes…

    My father is embarrassing because at 71 years old, still married to my mother, he moved out and has moved into his new home a never ending parade of 20-something Dominican and Puerto Rican women because “they like old men”. Some of them have become violent when he won’t buy them cars, jewelry, fur, apartments. One destroyed the interior of his car WITH HER BARE HANDS.

    He thinks this is fun. He thinks this is how “young people date”. He thinks this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him and he flaunts these little girls in front of my poor mother. But wait, there’s more…

    My father is totally into the sexy time and all he wants to talk about with us, his adult kids, is about how great it is to go down on a woman and how these young girls love giving blow jobs. He tries to talk to my roommate about anal sex so he can learn how to do it to one of his women (I use the term women loosely, one was on 19 years old).

    I hardly speak to my father anymore because I can’t have these conversations with him. I need my Daddy, not a perverted old man. I’ve recently been diagnosed as bi-polar, I’m going through the most difficult time in my life and my father only wants to talk about how big Viagra can make his dick.

    My blog is http://compulsiveincompetence.blogspot.com/ and is it any wonder I have a mood disorder as my doctor likes to put it.

  47. Jessica Murray

    My dad is embarrassing, because when he gets all doped up on his meds for his back he tends to ramble and ask the same question at least three times while eating a bowl of cereal at midnight. Then he suddenly spills the teensiest drop of milk on the hardwood floor. He proceeds to get a bottle of Tuff Stuff, a scrubbing brush, and a rag where he sprays, scrubs, and wipes that drop meticulously. And just when you think he couldn’t possibly be anymore insane, he claims to have no recollection of this the following morning. And as you’re telling him the story you realize he’s looking at you the exact same way you were looking at him while this event took place. For fuck sake, DAD, get it together!

    I publicly talk to myself here http://mrsjmur.com among other places.
    I share too many pictures of things no one would give a crap about. I also probably talk about things that would annoy you and make your mother tell you to run. Come get nosy in my life :)

  48. Anna

    Back in the early 90s when MC Hammer was all the rage, I made my mum buy me a pair of extra large, extra baggy ‘Hammer Pants’ (because, you know, extra baggy = extra cool) After wearing them a total of of zero times, my dad took it upon himself to add it to his wardrobe. Waste not want not and all that.

    He would wear them just about every time he picked me up from school, resulting in the other kids yelling out ‘STOP! Hammer Time!’ to me in the hallways at school. I bought it on myself I suppose.

    Anyway, I have a food blog: http://www.easymodernasian.com. Check it out, try the recipes, follow @EasyModernAsian on twitter.

    That is all.

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