Tag: humor

Allison and D.J. Need Your Stupid Problems About Your Gross Appearance

allison and d.j. need your stupid problems about your look

I believed I was so ugly no woman would ever want to date me.

I remember confessing this to a college roommate one summer. He was a handsome fraternity brother who had to fend off women when we went out. He was asking why I never talked to girls and I told him, “Well, I’m just not attractive enough, so why get rejected?” Now, the worst thing you can do if someone confesses their most vulnerable insecurity is to confirm it. Since I believed I was an ugly troll as much as I believed my name was D.J., the only hope that I had was that I might be wrong. But of course, he said the worst possible response. READ MORE

R.I.P InThePowderRoom and Leslie Marinelli (she’s not dead, though)

The happy couple post-coitus.
in-the-powder-room-logo

Women terrified me until I was twenty-two.

Without hyperbole I had a full, blown-out phobia of the fairer sex. Also bees. I can remember in first grade there was a girl who I wanted to date, or whatever we called it back then. I knew that I wasn’t good looking enough, however. That horrible self-image lasted until (in college) my first girlfriend told me that I was handsome. And she was beautiful. With her validation I realized that all those years I had been lying to myself. It’s not like after that moment I walked around campus believing I was chiseled from stone. But I no longer thought of myself as ugly. All it took was one person’s compliment and my lifetime of thinking I was gross-looking went away. I’d love to tell you that I came to an acceptance of my attractiveness through intense self-exploration and maturity. Nope. It just took the prettiest girl I knew to tell me I was hot. Sometimes that’s all you need. READ MORE

I Reviewed Bic For Her Pens on InThePowderRoom

Sometimes I have to let an idea incubate.

Every month I pen a short piece for InThePowderRoom, probably the greatest humor blog on the web. Or, more accurately, the greatest humor blog on the web that has asked me to contribute. And every month, the head editor Sarah reminds me a week before my deadline. The column is titled “What Does He Think?” and involves reviewing products designed for women, but from a male perspective. And since I’m not a broad, each month I freak out because I don’t know much about women’s products. Obviously I’m up on all the latest lip plumper glosses (who isn’t?), but I can’t write about that every month. I’m a professional, dammit! READ MORE

Bloggers are Weird Podcast – Tara Wood – Love Morning Wood

Tara Wood is a mother of seven, humor blogger, and public speaker. She writes at LoveMorningWood and routinely says things you would have loved to hear from your friend’s mom, but would have been horrified to hear from your own mother’s lips. This is why she’s on the show. She’s clearly in need of more effective contraception. Let’s get on that, eggheads! READ MORE

I Reviewed the F-Cup Cookie on InThePowderRoom

f cup cookie review

Once in a while I make a good life decision. Recently, I worked out an exclusive content agreement with beloved humor site InThePowderRoom. This means I write fresh stuff for them every month.

My deadline for this month’s article is Thursday. I’m nowhere near finished. It’s a funny idea but I need to cram in a few more jokes before submitting it to the head editor, Sarah. She and I go way back and the last thing either one of us wants is for her to have to tell me the piece sucks and to rewrite. READ MORE

I’m Going to Impress You With a Big Word

I always wanted to write a piece where I used the word “precipice.”

Just wanted to say that. Great opener, yes?

Let’s move on.

We all need a council of people that will tell us the truth even when it hurts. If you don’t have such a group, you may want to build that into your life. READ MORE

The Twenty-Four Year Old Running The Chili’s Twitter Account is Fun

The past few weeks have been unfortunately busy. I’m trying to cut down on my adverbs, by the way. I couldn’t even make past the first sentence. Dammit.

Anyhow, my best friend’s father passed away and I traveled back to Peoria to attend to the services. I also was in a bad car crash (thankfully nobody was injured). Since then I’ve purchased a new car. Oh, and I went down to Dallas to visit my aging grandmother this past weekend. READ MORE

My First Bidet – #LetsTalkBums

Cottonelle asked me to write about my first bidet experience – I told them to screw off because D.J. only does bidet humor on video!

Seriously, and they’re not paying me to say this (well, they are sponsoring the blog, but did not specifically ask me to say this), Cottonelle has the best damned toilet paper in these United States. And their adult wipes are important to my overall well-being. I’m hooked. READ MORE

Queerie Bradshaw – Part I – Bloggers are Weird Podcast

D.J. invites political activist, feminist, and sex and humor blogger Queerie Bradshaw to talk about what we don’t. In this episode we learn about her background in sex education, law, and writing. Part II coming soon!

Via  iTunes Zune or Blackberry store (just search) Via Android device – download your favorite podcast app and add the feed -> http://bloggersareweird.com/feed Visit the  

official Bloggers are Weird website READ MORE