Okay, I think I’ve found out in my relationships what triggers me into annoyance and then flat-out anger. It’s actually quite simple. See if you can dig this.
Something unusual is happening in the present. I make a comment about said unusual thing. The people I’m speaking to don’t recognize what’s unusual, or argue with me that it’s not true. Since I don’t think I’m nuts I try to explain again what I’m witnessing, and they keep pushing back. Then I raise my voice.
Once it got so bad I had to bury a dude in the desert. He was not missed.
Let me give you an example. This just happened five minutes ago.
I’m at the parents’ home to celebrate Father’s Day. I walked by the thermostat and casually noted the temperature. It was very nice and cool on our first floor which is unusual as I normally have to crank it down a few degrees. I wasn’t allowed to touch the thermostat as a child, but, for some reason, I can do whatever I want with it now. When I saw it at 73 degrees, I was proud of them. That’s a reasonable temperature for it being 80 outside.
Then I walked upstairs. I was hit with hot air. I couldn’t not feel the difference, nor could I not be annoyed. The shift was great, and I estimated that it was eight degrees hotter. Now, I grew up here. I know how the house works. Something foul was afoot!
I called down to my mom, still on the first floor, and asked what was up with the second floor. She said she didn’t know what I was talking about. I never believe people when they say this, by the way.
My father was brushing his teeth on the hot second floor. Clearly one of the two could help me here. I asked him what was up with the temperature. Like my mom he said he didn’t even notice it was warmer. Now I’m getting angry because they’re clearly lying.
But the thing is – they’re not.
Luck would have it that in my parents’ bedroom there is a clock that doubles as a inside/outside temperature thing. The inside temperature (and outside temperature) read 79. That’s six degrees warmer. I was off by two.
So, now, with empirical evidence to support my claim of a big temperature swing from first to second floor, you’d think my dad would do a, “Huh – that is weird. Let me think about it and we’ll get it sorted out.”
This is my fantasy because NOBODY ever does this. They just push back harder, even though you have facts on your side.
He just said he was going to bed and to do whatever I wanted with the temperature. But that’s not the issue. Two minutes later I found that most of the vents upstairs were closed. Okay, so problem solved. No big deal.
BUT WHY WOULD THEY NOT JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
I want recognition that I’m not a crazy person with these observations. This I never get. I guess it’s my issue, this needing to be validated.
I’m constantly going around noticing things that are strange and commenting on them. It seems that the people in my life work especially hard to not notice the same things.
What’s really going on inside of me is when you disagree with me, I really just think you’re lying. See, because deep down you hate me,, you passive aggressively tell me I’m wrong. And then I try to explain even harder why what I noticed is legit. I have no idea how to let any of this go.
Don’t I sound like a dream to be around? No. You’re probably right. However, somebody just tweeted that I was “dreamy.” I’ll take it!
photo credit: Ed Yourdon via photo pin cc