I’m Too Good to Pick Up Spare Change on the Street – A Confession

Penny in Street
Whoever photog'ed this makes a penny look pretty g-d glamorous.

Do you pick up spare change lying on the ground?

I don’t.

I realized this fact on Christmas Eve during our family’s annual holiday party. Carolyn and Laura are two sisters who grew up in our neighborhood. They’re both very successful. One’s a realtor and the other an attorney. The attorney (Carolyn) stated she always picks up change she stumbles across in the real world. Laura does not.

That led to a quick poll of the room.

About half of those in attendance said they picked up coins. When asked why they together barked, “Why not?” The picker-uppers didn’t have more explanation than that. Laura said, “Carolyn, you’re an attorney for God’s sake! You don’t need to pick up a penny.” Carolyn replied, “Yes, but now I’m one penny richer!”

What was interesting is that both camps did not understand the behavior of the others. We both thought each other was nuts.

To me, the idea of grabbing a penny off the ground doesn’t even register as something to do. I don’t use pennies in my life. I don’t use any change. The only time I used a coin in the past year was for a parking meter in a Chicago suburb. Oh, and also when my cat peed on my comforter and I had to go to the laundromat.

I pay for things in cash less than one percent of the time. Here in Vegas at a conference I do carry cash – for tipping. But other than that, it’s all credit cards. I want the airline miles!

I, with pride in my heart, whipped out my Mastercard two days ago at Walgreens for a $.37 purchase.

Now, I find coins on the ground three times a week minimum. Living in a big city, they’re everywhere. And I never bend down and grab them. Even if it’s a quarter, the holy grail of free change, I pass on by.

I started asking myself the tougher question. Like Descartes pondering existence, I wondered at what amount I would reach down and grab free cash. What is my threshold?

Pretty sure that Descartes joke is going to fall flat. I’m leaving it in.

The minimum amount is one dollar. If I ever come across a paper note, it’s going in my pocket. This has never happened.

So, now the question is begged – do I think I’m too good to pick up ground-change?

I’d like to say no, that it’s the dirtiness of the coins or that I’d hope someone else less fortunate finds it and puts it to use. But that shit ain’t true. I have no problem with dirt and grime, and I could always donate my change at the end of the year if I felt guilty about grabbing it.

No, the truth is this – I’m too good to pick up change.

I wish I weren’t typing that but it’s a sad reality. I feel powerful when I walk by a penny and refuse to stop. Like I’m a big shot who doesn’t have the time. And doesn’t need it.

Now, there’s no reality here – I’m not so wealthy that I don’t have the time. True, finding change isn’t going to speed up my retirement, but I’m not above visiting the CoinStar once a year to receive a small sum.

So, here’s my new proclamation – from now on I will now pick up EVERY coin I see lying in the street. I will donate all cash at the end of the year to something so I’ll feel like an ever bigger shot.

See what I did there? Clever, no?

Penny in Street
Whoever photog’ed this makes a penny look pretty g-d glamorous.

21 thoughts on “I’m Too Good to Pick Up Spare Change on the Street – A Confession”

  1. Katy Anders says:

    I don’t pick up change, either. I could probably use it, too, but I don’t. I just don’t, and I don’t think I ever will. When I’m behind someone in line at the store and they’re fishing through their purse for exact change to pay the clerk, I feel like slugging them.

    What’s more, I’m not going to do it for charity, either.

    I’m a bastard.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I know – I get super angry at people that pay in change as well. I guess that’s a good sign, that it’s my main source of anger. I’m glad I don’t currently have bigger problems. Ha.

  2. Tandy Elisala says:

    Thanks for a great post. I chuckled throughout. I do pick up change and see it as a sign that more and more money is flowing to me easily and effortlessly… or someone just dropped it. Either way, I win.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate you reading. Wayne Dyer does the same thing – picks up every coin he comes across as a message to his unconscious to recognize wealth opportunities. Smart!

  3. Kat says:

    Here in Canada, our one and two dollar bills were turned into coins quite number of years ago. When I’m downtown, I’ll stop for one of those but anything less gets left where it is. I’m not rich enough to walk past dollars but figure that there are enough homeless people downtown who could use other loose change more than me.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I love that you have rules like me. The homeless aren’t good enough for the dollars, I deserve them! They can have the leftovers!

      I do the exact same thing. 🙂

  4. Debbie says:

    Well aren’t you clever?! And yes, I do pick up change. Thanks for reminding there’s a fish tank full under my bathroom sink. Might be enough to fund a vacation. I would suggest you donate all that change you start picking up to a cat shrink so maybe it will stop peeing on your stuff.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I almost did go to a pretty famous cat-shrink, actually. It was going to cost like $600 and there was no guarantee. Thankfully the Prozac I squirt into her ears every evening works great. It’s cheaper and fun. Plus, I think a little gets onto my fingers and into my bloodstream, so that’s a bonus!

  5. Magical Mystical Mimi says:

    I’m a coin picker upper too. In fact as a kid in Chicago my cousins and I would go “sewer fishing” down the grates on the street. A long stick, a piece of string and Bazooka Joe bubble gum! You’d be surprised how many coins you can get out of those grates, especially if you find one close to the dog vendors! 😉 That being said, I would never in a million years allow my children to do such a thing. What the hell were my parents thinking?? – Great idea giving the coins to charity. Good luck!
    Stopping by from UBC, FB.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Did you also run down the street with a stick pushing a wheel rim? Wow – that’s old school. Ha. Thanks for reading!

  6. Luchie says:

    Now that’s a thought! I might just do that … pick them up; have a special jar for them and give them away at the end of the year.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Feel free to give them to me – I’ll use it to buy myself something nice. Like something gold I can hang around my neck. Because that’s a cool look for guys.

  7. Mari Corona says:

    Great share appreciated your honesty and the chuckle I got from reading it. I will never look at loose change in the street the same way again. BTW I do pick up loose change, it brings a smile to my face when I find a coin. Have a great day 🙂

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I love that you get pumped up finding a coin. I need to retrain my nervous system to get that excited. I make it way too difficult to feel good – thanks for the reminder!

  8. Jennifer Steck says:

    I picked up all lose change years ago. It was amazing how much I could find. A friend and I worked outside at an apartment complex and it was a contest to see who would end up with the most money at the end of the day and we’d use the coins to buy a piece of pizza we could share at a local restaurant. These days, it has to be a quarter or more. I use quarters on a regular basis to feed meters. So, while I don’t need the change these days, I still pick up the larger coins. At one time, as a single mom, they made a difference.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I’ve definitely been at stages where coins helped out tremendously. Thanks for your honesty, and for your reading!

  9. D.J. says:

    Hello!

  10. Anastasia Wake says:

    Years ago, a radio morning show had a bit called “Poo Dollar” where a staff member had $1 bills that were smeared in doggy poo. They would place the dollars on sidewalks and wait, live on the air, to see if someone would pick up the dollar and then what the reaction would be when the person realized it had poo on it. That has always stuck in my head and it would have to be a pretty big bill for me to consider picking it up.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      So, what happened? Did people keep the poop-money? I’ll bet they did.

  11. Steve Braun says:

    Dude, maybe if you picked up the change it would give you the courage to gamble it away…seeing as it isn’t really your money anyway.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Steve,

      Great point! I’m going to start looking for spare chips on the casino floor. Wish me luck!

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