You know what I love more than just about anything? The freedom to pass out on Friday night at 9pm after four pizza slices and a Fresca. The just happened.
I took a nap on the couch with my cat on my chest. I awoke with my dog on my chest which is strange as she cannot jump up onto the couch by herself. Maybe I sleep-helped her up. No idea.
Now, at 35, I have to really appreciate these special moments. I know how in Kodak commercials “special moments” refer to time with children, but I don’t have children. Not yet. My special moments today revolve around naps and poor food choices.
I won’t be able to do this forever. At some point wife and children will become part of the deal and I won’t be able to just take amazing naps whenever I want. You know, babies crawling around with forks and stuff is something that needs to be monitored.
Oh, and you know the second best part of being me? The first, of course, is the amazing naps whenever I want. The second best part is that even as I’ve only been up thirty minutes and wrote this post, I’m lying in bed ready to pass out as soon as I hit publish. Going to be awesome. Goodnight.
wilyguy says:
Oh, you’re so wrong my friend. There is NOTHING like a baby falling asleep on top of you to A. Lead directly to a nap and B. offer the perfect excuse for doing so and C. make you look like the father of the year.
Thought about you the other day, yeah and oh btw thanks, as I got my teeth x-rayed. There is a comfort level under the lead blankie.
an0nthoughts says:
i’m jealous. Wish i could nap and not be up half the night. Another great nap is either A) girls head on your chest or B) head on guys chest. depends on which gender you are. 😉
D.J. Paris says:
@an0nthoughts Your Twitter profile pic (not shown here) is disturbing to me. I can’t look at it. Remove it now, I say!
an0nthoughts says:
@delfinparis *changes*
tsarandrew says:
Instead of thinking you won’t be able to nap as much in the future, you should just dedicate yourself to learning how to nap fully upright with your eyes open.
D.J. Paris says:
@tsarandrew I really like your beliefs and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Gwennie says:
I’m using all my internal strength to not make a really inappropriate comment here about you in bed, sheets all askew, your laptop open & pussy (cat, that is). You put that one up on a tee for me, dude. Damn.
D.J. Paris says:
@Gwennie Um, I don’t believe you. Bring it.
ToscaSac says:
I random nap now like a cat. My daughter is 15. I did it too when she was younger. I think there is more hope you can keep your naps as a dad. Babies and toddlers sleep through out the day. The best advice I got as a new mom was “sleep when the baby sleeps”. It meant I was not so frazzled through the night if I spent afternoon nap time sleeping instead of getting things done because the baby napped.
Last night I fell asleep sometime after prime time television and woke up around 1 or 2 am. I had a paper due from Thursday. Our professor had assured us that he was not going to be grading before this mornings email check. This meant I had a few hours to get the paper written and emailed to him.
I hit send before 6am and went back to sleep for about 4 hours.
D.J. Paris says:
@ToscaSac I think you may be setting a not great example for your daughter about accountability. I can only assume you are spending too much time at cheerleading practice and hanging with the boys at the malt shoppe to get your assignments done on time.
Jack V Sage says:
I’ve slept in that position often, trying to make room for my partner, because we are cheapskates using a double futon on top of a queen mattress instead of going out and buying a king-sized bed like we need. I would not want to wake up to Nemesis in bed with us, since he’s a 150-pound Neapolitan mastiff. 😉
an0nthoughts says:
Jack, Nemesis can come sleep with me. I’ve always got space for dogs and cats in my bed.
ToscaSac says:
Our house hold has never been what other people would call normal. I never gave my daughter a bed time. We never ate around a kitchen table. Still she is well respected by families and teachers she comes in contact with. This weekend she is away camping…with a friends family. I would not be carrying a B average in my 3rd year as an adult college student if I had no accountability.
D.J. Paris says:
@ToscaSac I hope you realize I was only kidding. I only judge myself, not others. 🙂
ToscaSac says:
@delfinparis Just making sure you know becoming a parent won’t make you normal ;> hahahaha
CrazyTragicAlmostMagic says:
I call those the joys of living alone!
keliroxurface says:
@tfpHumorBlog it must be fun to be you 😉