I’ve written before that I’ve never been bit by a mosquito. Or maybe I have but my skin isn’t allergic to the sting. Who knows?
So, when people talk about itching or the red bump shit on their calves, I just stare at them blankly. I have no idea what that is, but it seems to itch like a prick according to you fools. It also must be an endorphin machine because you go nearly orgasmic scratching it. I’m not exaggerating when I say I have never really had any of that. Yeah, yeah, one of God’s chosen. I know.
Tonight, while atop the commode, I saw something that freaked me out. Big time.
Two big red dots on my legs. They look like raised bumps, but just slightly. Actually on my inner thigh. Near my magic. But only on one leg. Puzzling!
I figure this was it – cancer. I swear to God I did. Little tumors breaking through the skin. That was my first reaction and thought. I’ve never had a rash as an adult or any of that stuff. I got a hold of myself and then realized…
Oh, I must have been bit by something! How cool!
Has to be a bite from an insect. I have only seen three bugs in my condo the eight years I’ve lived here, but something must have crawled into bed with me. I knew enough not to touch it. Touching + Bite = Bad.
But I had to take a photo. Because, if it skeeves me out, it should totally skeeve you out. So, here you are. My first bug bites. I’m so excited!
Tiff Stauffer says:
Nothing will beat the skeeve-out from learning you ate a skin tag. Please, for the sake of all of us, don’t ever try to top that in the skeeve-out scale of nasty.
By the way, you can’t claim it as your first bug bite till you accidentally scratch it, releasing the bites’ itching powers into your nervous system. Don’t worry, it’ll happen. Keep us posted.
And now I realize that I have hit a new low in my blog reading that I am asking a complete stranger to keep me posted about a bug bite. Sigh.
Jesse3581 says:
Quality, not quantity. Please go back to posting less frequency, but with better content. PLEASE.
Gwennie says:
Probably just the syphilis. Good luck with that.
Katrina says:
Wow that is amazing that you’ve managed to never be bitten before…you obviously live in the wrong country….I suggest you visit me over here in Australia….I could probably arrange for you to be bitten by all sorts of things without even trying (just as a side point….it took a very long time for this comment section to load onto the page….nothing else on my computer was being slow…only on here)
Katjaneway says:
I’ve told people numerous times that I would not visit Australia even if someone PAID me. I can not even fathom the dangers that lurk around every corner in that country. Everything can kill you. EVERYTHING. O_O
I live, I believe, in one of the safest parts of the US. In the Pacific Northwest, there is only one dangerous but not deadly spider (thank you for that, ENGLAND), and only one poisonous plant if you decide to eat it. There are no hurricanes, no tornadoes, no droughts, and where I’m at, no flooding either. Yeah, there’s a mountain, but I live far enough away not to be wiped off the face of the earth by mud flows. It’s cool. I live in a bubble and I like it! lol
Tiff Stauffer says:
@Katjaneway Hey, I’m in the PNW, too!! WooHoo!!
Katjaneway says:
@Tiff Stauffer Wow, that’s a shock. I NEVER find anybody in my area. I used to hang out in chatrooms and I’ve talked to people all over the world. I found ONE person that lived in Seattle. It was like “dang”.
D.J. Paris says:
Move to a former British penal colony? No thank you, sir!
Corporate Wife says:
Okay. You officially ruined my day with the photo of your bug-bitten nether regions.
D.J. Paris says:
@Corporate Wife My objective!
LuftigWarren says:
Bed bugs. Take a bath, you dirty hippy.
D.J. Paris says:
@LuftigWarren Never!
Katjaneway says:
Actually, I’ve learned that living within the city limits really limits your interaction with a lot of mosquitoes. Ever since I moved I think I’ve only seen a couple a year, and I haven’t even gotten bitten by one in over 5. Of course, I’m also an indoor person. Summer doesn’t really start here until the end of June anyway.
Also, have you ever had hives? Getting bitten feels the exact same, except not nearly as intense. I could imagine one never getting bitten by anything if you’ve lived in the city all your life. I lived in the country, and those freakin’ 3 inch long hobo spiders were around every corner in mid-august. Those things…. *shivers*. Like I said in a reply below, I couldn’t imagine living in a place like Australia. 3 inch spiders freak me the f out bad enough!
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway Never had hives or a rash. Thank the Gods.
Katjaneway says:
@delfinparis I’d never had them either until one day my immune system said “meh, I’m bored” and I broke out for no reason. It lasted a week (taking 6 benedryl to have any effect and finding out I’m allergic to Allegra) until I got prescribed some steroids. They haven’t come back since. That week was MISERABLE!!
MissMolly says:
Yeah, I though I was lucky too! I don’t get bit or don’t get bothered by bites…. until this year! I have had to go to the doctor TWICE because the bites got so bad! No bueno.
D.J. Paris says:
@MissMolly God punishing you for sins. Clearly.
apodd2012 says:
Once when I was a kid I was sent home from school because I had so many bug bites they thought I had chicken pox, or something worse. Nope I just lived in houston and bugs love me…a lot.
D.J. Paris says:
@apodd2012 Well at least you weren’t the girl who had lice in gradeschool. She never recovered socially.
Sonja Rois says:
There are some ppl who are immune to ‘skeeter bites. Usually it’s because they have a low level of histamine. You may have been bitten, but just not had a reaction if you are one of those ppl. It would also explain why you don’t get rashes. I would KILL for that problem since I am HIGHLY reactive to ‘skeeter bites. Like Katjaneway said though, I noticed Chicago doesn’t really have a whole lot of the lil blood suckers. Normally they live in wet areas and even though you have the river running through the city and the lake at the edge, there’s not a lot of yards to fester in. Consider yourself very lucky. I moved to the National Forest section of FL the year there is the highest outbreak when they announced it is the first year the cities won’t spray for ‘skeeters. I’m hot, itchy mess this year. But I look all crazy sexy glisening with hydrocortizne ointment! 😉
http://insects.about.com/od/insectpests/f/mosquitoitch.htm