I weighed in this afternoon at a meaty 223.8 lbs.
This is quite an accomplishment for a man that could eat whatever he wanted up until two years ago. Hell, five years ago I was at 175. I’m just shy of 6’3″ and should clock in between 190-200lbs. That’s ideal for me.
Actually, your scale weight doesn’t matter. Well, not really. I’m surprised more isn’t made about this. Your weight is a combination of muscle and fat. From everything I’ve read all what’s most important is the ratio is between the two. The lower the body fat percentage the better. This way you could be bigger (more muscular and heavier), and still be healthy.
The problem with dieting and not building muscle at the same time is simple – depending on your body type, you could be burning lean muscle by dieting, and the fat remains in the body.
Okay, that’s all I know about the body. I’ll leave you to do your own research. Dr. Oz probably has a whole article on this shizz.
Today was the kick in the butt I needed. I hadn’t weighed myself in months. Out of sight, out of mind. Sure, I still ate a full pizza afterwards, but I’m now getting ready to make the shift. I figure I’m eating five hundred calories more than I should be every day. Also, I’m not moving around much.
My girlfriend bought me a FitBit for Christmas and it tracks your steps. I set my first goal at 10k steps – it took four days. I was so proud I told her and she said, “You’re supposed to walk 10k steps every day!” Oops.
It’s funny – I used to have shame about my weight. If I clocked in over 200lbs, I would get mad at myself yelling inward about the poor food choices I had made. Today was different. I acknowledged that I am overweight. Hell, I’m at my fattest. But I had no judgement about it.
To be able to see myself as I am without judgement (at least with weight) is a major step forward for me. Of course I have four years of therapy, too. We sort of work on this stuff. But to be this large and not ashamed is mind-boggling. I’m confused by my own non-self-meanness.
My fear up until recent was that if I wasn’t hard on myself and didn’t constantly demand better, I would lose motivation and not reach my true potential. I don’t think that is true anymore. It’s a shame strategy and it doesn’t compel me to change. It’s paralyzing.
Now that the shame is gone fear is coming up – if I’m not hard on myself won’t I be less inclined to make the proper changes toward healthy living? Won’t I become complacent and get even fatter? The truth is I don’t know.
I have three weeks before I vacation with the girlfriend in Nicaragua. As a representative of the United States, it’s my duty to look svelte and chiseled to the natives. To accomplish this feat will take about six months. Maybe I’ll just crash diet up until the trip and drink water with lemon for lunch. Sure I’ll be woozy and pass out constantly at work, but at least I’ll look undernourished and emaciated. You know, the American beauty ideal!
Beth says:
There tons of sea turtles in Nicaragua, so you may still have a chance for that whole genital thing.
Sonya Mann says:
LMAO ^
D.J. Paris says:
Sonya – stop laughing at me! I COMMAND YOU!
D.J. Paris says:
That’s true! I hope to see some while I sunbathe naked since I’m once of those gross people who sunbathes naked.
Kate Hall says:
You and my husband are about the same size. I think the highest he’s reached is right around 220. We started doing Wii Just Dance which I got for Xmas and he thinks he’s about to dip below 210 bc of it. I’ve lost a couple pounds, but I eat so much chocolate that I’m kind of balancing it out. It’s been the best exercise I’ve done in a long time because I don’t feel like I’m exercising. It’s fun! And I have some new moves for the next time I go clubbing.
D.J. Paris says:
I do own a Wii AND a PS3 – maybe I’ll stop playing Grand Theft Auto 5 long enough to do some exercising. But it’s so much fun to run over hookers!
AlwaysARedhead says:
DH keeps threatening to purchase me a GoPro since I walk in my sleep, and for the number of times I do, walking up & down stairs asleep, you would think I would drop a few pounds. Good luck to you.
D.J. Paris says:
Oh – DH needs to videotape this. I’ll publish it on my site.
AlwaysARedhead says:
As tempting as that might be, it won’t happen.
D.J. Paris says:
You’re no fun!
Jackie says:
Imagine how great it might feel to rest your genitals on a turtle. Perhaps that should be your goal for Nicaragua. You know, kind of like “What happens in Nicaragua stays in Nicaragua!” Food for thought.
D.J. Paris says:
Hmm – you’re right. I should head over to the local zoo and try out the genitals-turtle thing first. YOU HAVE AMAZING IDEAS.
Wendy says:
Good luck with your journey, both in terms of weight and body image and in Nicaragua. I’m headed there in a few months. I hear it’s a beautiful country!
D.J. Paris says:
I’ll let you know how it goes – I’m sure I’ll be blogging along the way. We’re going to three different areas. Supposed to be amazing.
Gregory Anne Cox says:
You’re one funny guy DJ, starting with the Paris comment. I for one was going to write and tell you not to feel badly if you’d gained weight in Paris.
What I really want to tell you is that I love that you’ve gotten to a place of non-judgment and I can judge with the best of them–too much on my own stuff of course. The weight–pardon the pun–of that causes so much emotional crap to surface and that’s just about the time the cookies or chips do as well. I’ll bet no matter what you weigh when you go to Nicaragua you’ll have a great time, your GF will think you are handsome and fabulous, and the turtle? Well they’re about as non-judgmental as you can get.
Via con dios.
D.J. Paris says:
Gregory – you’re right. Turtles are pretty judgement-less. They also have very little brain power, so I’m not going to put too much stock in their ability to make subjective assessment. 🙂
Celia says:
I started to read your post and didn’t know what to expect. I agree that fear and shame both paralyzed me too.
D.J. Paris says:
Hi Celia – mostly I just write fart jokes. This one didn’t have many laughs in it. Sorry. Ha!
Kidecia King says:
Be gentle with yourself Paris! The fact that you have identified your desire/need for change is a big step in the right direction! Trust the process 🙂
I’m happy that you have recognized and moved beyond much of the negative self-talk that you were having with yourself! I wish you continued luck on your journey to transform your body and your mind in a way that is pleasing to you!
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks, Kidecia!
I’m definitely more gentle with myself than I used to be – trusting the process is what it takes, and also some good old fashioned grit.
Sonya Mann says:
“My fear up until recent was that if I wasn’t hard on myself and didn’t constantly demand better, I would lose motivation and not reach my true potential. I don’t think that is true anymore. It’s a shame strategy and it doesn’t compel me to change. It’s paralyzing.”
I’ve had the same experience.
D.J. Paris says:
Did you find that not-judging yourself helped you to make changes?
DIane says:
My fiance was a total gym rat when I met him. 9 years and a major back/neck/shoulder injury later and things are very different. He can’t lift weights and can’t do anything high impact, no twisting or turninng so its basically down to our eliptical and going on walks. I have never had a hgym membership but have always remained thin. I am well aware that thin does not equal healthy. This year we vowed to be healthier. My fiance eats a lot healthier than I do, but we are both excersizing at home. Thankfully our cable provider has an excersize on demand channel that has all different instructional shows you can watch which are perfect for me.
D.J. Paris says:
Nice – thanks for the comment! I’ve done some of the cable exercise vids – some of them are insanely tough! Good luck on being more fit this year!
Magnolia says:
I prefer the big dogs myself, but you have to feel good about yourself. I think that it is hard for guys to hit the wall of “holy crap I am fat” when their metabolism downshifts from hummingbird to turtle.
You have my “there there tubby” pat on the back, filled with love and support.
Have fun!
Love your posts.
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks for the tubby comment – I’ll have you know I lost three pounds last night just sleeping! (This is true)
Magnolia says:
Oh and I am still trying to scratch the bathtub nut image out of my head…. thanks for that.
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah, if you didn’t see the one post, Apple pulled my app from the app store temporarily because of that one. I had to fake-remove it, then when the app was reinstated, I put it back. Ha!
Mandi says:
I’m pretty sure that most countries expect Americans to be fat, so you could even put it off a little longer…but I’m an enabler.
D.J. Paris says:
Yes, you ARE an enabler! Let’s get married and then we can encourage each other’s bad habits through passive-aggressive compliance!
Mandi says:
That’s a great idea, except for that I’m already married and enabling my current husband to over eat and under exercise. But if you need a good friend to encourage you to go ahead and eat those 14 double stuffed oreos, I’m your girl. I’ll even pour the milk.
D.J. Paris says:
You are a devil, devil-woman!
torg says:
I’m looking forward to seeing what, if anything, you do about your situation.
🙂
D.J. Paris says:
Ha – thanks, Prof!
By the way, I’m trying hard to eliminate adverbs. I use them often in verbal communication and it’s really difficult to remove them from my writing voice. I do believe, though, that it tightens up the message. Thoughts?
Henri Coleman says:
Hi DJ,
So important that you are having a healthy response to your weight gain. It would be easy to panic and have all sorts of shaming thoughts. Thanks for sharing.
I have a fairly easy fix that might help you lose a few lbs before your trip. No bread, no sugar, no dairy, no alcohol. If you have to have a bread (a carbohydrate) fix, make sure you eat gluten free. It is ok to put some butter on the gluten free bread. Whole Foods (brand) has a great cinnamon raison gluten free bread helps me get over my bread craving. I know you don’t drink so that one is easy. Just try to stick to those guidelines until the trip and even without exercise I think you will lose weight. Try having a smoothie for breakfast every morning…I have one that contains frozen pineapple, mango, banana, spinach, spirulina and hemp protein. So good to put all these healthy ingredients in your body first thing in the morning.
Good luck!
Henri
D.J. Paris says:
Hi Mrs. Coleman!
Yeah – too many carbs are the enemy. I’m trying to retrain my body away from grains, although I did have a little quinoa tonight in my soup. And also, you are at the perfect weight so I should totally listen to you!
Missed you at Lotus of Siam!
Torg says:
The adverbs still slip on me too, but I mainly go with Stephen King’s adage, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”
Steve Braun says:
Dude, I can relate. I am 6-2 and as a senior in high school was wrestling at 165 lbs. Now, that was too skinny, but I was never more than 190 until I hit about 29. Of course, that’s also when I stopped smoking myself to death! Either way, about this time last year I tipped in at 235…I was stunned, but almost proud that I could get that heavy for whatever reason. As a kid, it was always, “you’re so skinny”. It was nice to finally have a gut to rest my beer on. I’ve been better, at about 215 now…I think about 200-205 is right for me. Good luck being less fat!
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah, if I can get to 200, I’ll be pretty happy. You and I have about the same story, there. I’m down five now, just got to keep going!
Mari Corona says:
Great share, I always enjoy the male perspective in regards to weight 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
We do have it pretty easy. You chicks have a tough go of the weight thing. It’s not fair!
Gina Valley (@GinaValley) says:
Well, I don’t care how much you (or anyone else for that matter) weigh.
I do hope you won’t start with self-meanness (Be nice to you!).
BUT, I am really, REALLY glad to hear you haven’t rested your guys on a turtle. I think the turtles are pretty glad about that, too!
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks Gina,
I could only hope that my nards feel turtle shell one day. On the bucket list.
BadSandy says:
Big boned, not fat.