I’m supposed to be at a Halloween party right now.
It’s being hosted by one of my favorite people, the lead singer of our band. There’s a few issues, however. One, he lives about sixty minutes away from where my place. Next, I don’t have a good costume. Third, I’m exhausted.
I feel like a dick for bailing on the party. My calendar isn’t hardly everfilled up with weekend blowouts. I probably get invited to four parties a year. So instead of helping young lovelies do keg stands, I’m here in the condo with the cat and dog tonight eating too many Wint O Green LifeSavers.
I’d like to talk for a minute about social interaction. Over many years of therapy I have come to learn that, for me, nothing is more important for my well-being than being in direct, intimate communication with people I love. My inclination, however, is to stay isolated and alone during my free time. This is strange because I’m one of the most outgoing people you’re likely to meet. I love to introduce myself to others and have conversation. It’s basically what I do for a living, too.
Today, for example, I did a short presentation in front of sixty people. It’s easy and I like that stuff.
But when I get home from work or on the weekends, the last thing that would naturally occur to me is to go hang out with someone. This is not healthy. I have spent entire Saturdays and Sundays without leaving the condo. Now, with a blog and a lot of Twitter followers it’s easy to stay entertained. I lie to myself and say that replying to Facebook fan page comments or tweets is like being around people. And while I do love communicating with you guys, I need some face time.
Last year when I went to BlogWorld in LA I made three really good friends. Megan came in a few months back sightseeing with her family, and this weekend Vanessa was in for a conference with her parents.
Vanessa reached out to me and we went to breakfast this morning. Over the past year we’ve become good pals. She runs the marketing for SekiEdge and is also an amazing dancer. If I can ever get out to LA we’re going to film a video where she teaches me how to properly dance at a wedding. It will be hilarious.
Tomorrow I’m supposed to have lunch with an acquaintance, but that’s probably going to be canceled by her. What I know is that if I end Sunday without leaving the condo I will be depressed. I’m going to get up and go visit somebody even if they don’t want to see me.
If I end up choosing you, just be cool and don’t call the cops.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:
It’s understandable that you’d pass up the Halloween party. I mean, how could you even hope to recapture the pageantry of your Hermaphrodite appearance? Hey, is any of your band’s music online? Would love to give it a listen. In the meantime, next opportunity – choose Chex Mix over the Wint O green lifesavers. Dare Greatly, my friend!
D.J. Paris says:
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom yes, some music is online. I’ll send over at some point!
Katjaneway says:
I spend entire weekends without ever touching my car. Any shopping and whatnot better get done on the weekdays, cuz once i’m home I’m staying put. I can’t even force myself to go out there – just too lazy. “I need milk. Oh well, dried cereal is just as good.” (ps, that’s never actually happened to me, but it COULD).
D.J. Paris says:
Katjaneway Yeah, but you don’t shame about it like I do. If I could do it without judging myself that would be great. But I can’t…
Kianwi says:
For me it is a very fine balance. I am recharged by being by myself. I do love people and like to interact with them, but I need to time alone. If I have a weekend that is filled, I feel all edgy and unsettled. But, if I spend too much time alone, I start to get depressed. I have learned my boundaries in the last few years and generally try to plan on thing on the weekend, and leave the other day free. It doesn’t always work out like that, but that is the best recipe for me.
D.J. Paris says:
Kianwi Yes, balance is everything. I am still working on this, myself. Great reminder!
barblehmansmith says:
Love this piece….Reminded me of essays from “The Merry Recluse” by the late Caroline Knapp. Hope you got out today!
D.J. Paris says:
barblehmansmith I’m going to check her out. Thanks!