I swear to Christ that I do not have a double chin. The red eye thing though, is real.
In my last post I talked about The Most Boring Person At BlogWorld. Her name is Megan. But then at the end of my story I actually talked about how great she is. And she really is.
And then her best friend got jealous. They’re kind of a team. They’re also from Salt Lake City, which means they’re weird as shit.
Angie and I literally talked for two straight hours. And during that time, guys would come over and interrupt us. Just like Megan, she is super-hot. Also married.
Angie has two things about her that are funny (but you may not care).
She rolls her eyes constantly
You can dance with her without her knowing
I’ll address them in sequence.
Weird Eye Roll Thing
You should only roll your eyes for two three reasons. (I thought of one more)
You’re having an epileptic seizure
You’re fainting from the third day of a soy-only-no-carb diet
Your significant other tells you they’ll pick up their dirty underwear after the game (or when Project Runway is over).
But Angie rolls her eyes while she’s talking to you. And laughing. And bouncing. Oh, I forgot about the bouncing!
This woman literally bounces when she talks. It’s funny. But that’s what’s great. Usually when women bounce it’s because they’re a cheerleader type – you know, happy and sort of dumb. But she’s really smart. So, that is what makes it unique.
She does this awesome eye roll thing whenever she makes a joke. It’s the cutest thing ever. It’s probably a facial tic or something from childhoood trauma, but I love it. My guess is she walked in our her grandparents. That would do it.
It’s kind of like when Larry the Cable Guy does that moronic “Git ‘R Done” thing. It punctuates the joke. She does that with her eye roll.
She told this one for some reason.
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, “Are you comfortable?” The guy says, “I make a good living.”
(Massive eye roll)
Personally, I find that to be not very funny. And also a little anti-semetic. And who the hell tells jokes anymore? Angie, get with the times!
Okay, actually that was Henny Youngman. That joke doesn’t really hold up – not sure why I used it.
Here’s the other thing she does that’s weird – you can walk her anywhere you want without her knowing.
Let me explain.
Remember when Judge Reinhold was a “close talker” in Seinfeld?
Well, here’s a fun thing you can do with close-talkers. If you take a small half-step back every few minutes, you can literally walk them around an area, like you’re doing a conga line. Except they have no idea you’re moving them at all. You just keep stepping back and they follow.
In two hours, I circled the lobby we were in three times. She never noticed. I figured out how to do this with my friend Lori from high school. She’s the same way.
So, okay, that’s Angie. Again, the best part about her is that she’s passionate about her work and social media. She’s going to explain to me soon why I need to do more on Twitter and communicate with my readers on my ThoughtsFromParis FaceBook page.
Honestly, between her and Megan, I have two nice starts to a friendship. That was worth the trip altogether. Thanks, guys.
And thank YOU for continuing to read my blog. Means the world to me.