Menstruation is both gross and offensive.
It is, however, one of those unavoidable consequences that a male must endure if he so chooses to co-habitate with a female of breeding age. Sure, the lady also endures, I SUPPOSE, but they’re not on the other end of the wild mood swings, irritability, and all of that howling during a full moon. Oh, and once a woman starts “the turn,” even though her cycle stops I hear all sorts of other craziness begins. Like chin hair and loss of bladder control.
Lest you think I’m a barbarian, I’d like to point about the previous paragraph was satire. I love all of a woman, even the disgusting parts.
I am proud as heck to announce that my first piece for In The Powder Room went live today. The subject? Periods. Duh. That’s what all the above nonsense was building to. And, I’m down with ending a sentence with a preposition like I just did. But I’m surely not down with the Diva Cup.
In a rare moment when the muse visited my brain I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I reviewed a woman’s product – you know, from a guy’s perspective?” I pitched the idea to In The Powder Room and the editor said, “Okay, what product?” I hadn’t thought that far ahead as I’m used to be rejected for dopey ideas like this one.
The Diva Cup is the most extreme woman’s product ever created. Even hard core feminists who polish their brass knuckles on the bones of the men they’ve eaten respond with, “Ick!” after learning of this menstrual device. Perfect for my first article!
I’m hoping this idea has legs so that I can continue my “Guy Reviews Women Stuff” on In the Powder Room. Next time I’m going to totally slay hair dryers. Watch out, Conair!
Above image is the Copyright of Hold My Purse Productions, LLC.
Special thanks to Natalie who wrote the feminist brass knuckles line for me. Go read her blog here!