I’m a terrible gambler.
This foolio has been living at the Rio in Las Vegas for the past three days. I haven’t sat down once at a table or slot machine.
I am surrounded by opportunity to play games and win some dough. So why aren’t I gambling?
A few reasons – first, I have an addictive personality. Moderation is difficult and I tend to drift toward the extremes. The past four years of therapy have taught me that learning to live in the middle, the grey, is a very important skill. A skill I don’t have.
When I sit down at the blackjack table I have a hard time leaving. If I win $20, I’m bummed I didn’t win $40. If I lose $20 I want to put in more money to win it back. Thankfully I’ve never been so heavy into gambling that I’ve blown more than $100.
Yeah, D.J. that’s how most everyone feels when they gamble!
Not everyone. My sister’s boyfriend expects to lose. He sets aside gambling money and views it as his entertainment for the evening. As such, he’s never disappointed when he blows it.
If I lose even $20 I’m devastated. I don’t expect to win every hand, but I hope to walk away with something in the black. This, of course, is not how gambling works. But addictions don’t pay much attention to rational thought. Addiction craves the high of winning.
Here’s the second reason.
I don’t have the stomach for large betting. I hit the $5 blackjack tables and never play more than $20 a hand. And when I do that I’m nervous and sweating.
Let’s say I’m really lucky and win $100. True, it’s adding to my overall net worth. But being $100 richer isn’t going to change my lifestyle. I can take my girlfriend out to one additional high-end dinner. If I lose the $100, I can still pay my bills. No real change.
And, as mentioned earlier, I haven’t the nerves for any high stakes.
Since my gut only allows me small bets, I’m never going to win enough to make a substantial difference in my finances. So, what’s the point?
The high of winning is not as intense as the sorrow of losing. I am more affected emotinally walking away down than up. I wish it were reversed, but it’s not how I’m wired. Since the games are tilted to the house’s favor, I have a bigger probability of feeling like poop.
I don’t know how to play most games. The electronic slot machines confuse the shit out of me. I feel like since I’m not Asian I shouldn’t attempt Pai Gow. I never learned Texas Hold ‘Em. Keno is for old people, and craps is way too fast. I don’t assume I’m lucky enough to pick Roulette winners.
Blackjack is the only table where I’ll sit down, and there are rules to maximize your odds. Because I’m such a risk-adverse person, I play the suggested ways. Which makes it boring after a while, even if I’m winning. I’m like a robot. A sweaty, nervous robot.
No, I’ll stick to the seafood buffet. I’m heading to the best one in town tonight. Can’t wait to sit by myself swallowing crab legs, lobster, shrimp, and halibut. I may do a few shots of drawn butter, but that’s only because I’m awesome.
Kat says:
I’m exactly the same way! I don’t have the addiction thing but I absolutely do not have the stomach to gamble my hard-earned dollars. Gambling in the casinos is supposed to be fun but it would just stress me out. What kind of vacation is that?
D.J. Paris says:
Well, I’m at a blogging conference. I’d be just as happy as if it was in rural Arkansas than in Las Vegas. Wait, that’s not true. I do love the all-lobster buffet I ate last night.
Michael says:
I lived in Las Vegas and the craziest I ever got was participating in the office NFL pool. I won often, I was liked doing better than all the guys that lived and breathed football. Once in awhile to kill time before a show I would play the slots but l never had more than $20 to lose…I was to freaked out I would become the lady who was always at the local 7-11 chain smoking playing the slot machine. I always said hi but she would just grunt at me and keep playing.
D.J. Paris says:
I can’t even do the NFL stuff since I don’t know anything about it! I used to follow underground Filippino Slap Fighting Tournaments. Okay, I might have made this up.
Di Hill says:
Oh, a strange world for me. My “gambling” is almost no gambling. I buy a few tickets in things, but have never played on the tables. I don’t have enough money to risk losing it!!
D.J. Paris says:
I hear you! I don’t have enough money either (who does?) but what I do have I work hard for – it’s just not worth the risk. Maybe if I was willing to bet big stakes, but I’m not. I’d rather be boring. Ha!
Beth says:
An additional high-end dinner? Put the money on the table, DJ!
D.J. Paris says:
No problem – Denny’s is now serving rib-eyes!
jackie says:
looks like you took the sensible option. 😉
D.J. Paris says:
For once!
Steve Braun says:
Man up and flirt with financial ruin!
D.J. Paris says:
You’re right – it’s not fun unless you put it all on the line. Let me grab my balls at hit Three Card Poker.
Steve Braun says:
I forgot to enter my url! That’s a badass plugin…great idea.
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah – use it!
barbie says:
…..”But being $100 richer isn’t going to change my lifestyle. I can take my girlfriend out to one additional high-end dinner”….
Really, since when does a high-end dining in Chicago cost only $100, maybe in the early 90’s. Next is $400/person, Alenia can be up $1000/person. If taking your girl out to a high -end dinner, you’ve got to risk more or eat pizza. True story.
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah – you’re not wrong. Alinea is around $400 a person, and I’ve done it once. That was enough for me. But yes, best dinner I ever had. 🙂
Sandra de Helen says:
I’m with you! I avoid casinos and don’t even like to stop in Las Vegas or Reno airports. (Or any gambling city). We all know it’s set up for the house to win. I had a childhood friend whose father used to regularly win and lose large. When she lost her home I knew I’d never gamble and I was happy the addictions in my household ran to alcohol instead of gambling.
D.J. Paris says:
Ouch – that’s really sad. My uncle worked at Cesar’s for 30 years and he told me if he ever caught me gambling he would shoot me. Smart man.
helen says:
I hear you about poker! You should try Blackjack Attack – it’s kind of like an evil version of blackjack where you can attack and bust other people … https://apps.facebook.com/blackjack-attack Plus there’s no house, just other players so no need to worry about being set up!
D.J. Paris says:
I’ll give it a shot – thanks for reading!
TheFakeGourmet says:
My dad used to live in Delaware — close enough to take a day trip to Atlantic City or to spend the afternoon at Delaware Park, watching the horses. On a visit when I was about 19, I discovered that the casino was too overwhelming, but that it was a really, really good thing that I didn’t live close to a horse track. It was waayyyy too addictive, even if I was just making $2 bets! lol
Amanda
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