Yesterday I wrote about not going out for New Year’s Eve because I chickened out in visiting a bar by myself. While I’m no longer judging myself as a loser for this I am committed to not let another major event pass without some form of a plan, even if it is just to stay home by myself.
There’s no way that last sentence was grammatically or syntactically accurate. I wish I knew stuff!
Well, I have an opportunity to redeem myself this weekend.
This Saturday I will be flying out to chilly Las Vegas for Blog World (now called New Media Expo). There will be around four thousand bloggers in attendance all there to hang out, learn junk, and network. And I won’t know even one person there.
Last year I wrote about the most fun and the most boring persons I met at BlogWorld. Since then we have stayed in touch and I would say that there has been solid, developed friendships. Sadly both of these bozos can’t make it this year. One is pregnant and the other one’s company won’t spring for the ticket. I offered to let her crash in my room, but her husband was unhappy with this arrangement. Lame.
Now, I’m not a famous blogger by any means, but I do a respectable amount of web traffic. I’m number one on Google for “dick stories” for chrissakes. That is something, people. It’s not hyperbolic or an ego stroke to think a few of the people in attendance might be readers of this blog. But I don’t know one of them who are coming to this event.
Now, in the last post I talked about how I’m perfectly comfortable going to parties where I don’t know anyone and making friends. No big whoop. During the weekend I’ll do just fine going up and meeting people. I did this with five thousand women at BlogHer and never felt even the least bit awkward. Of course the idea of being in a group of five thousand women is exciting, in and of itself.
But two things do scare me. First are meals. I will have nobody to with whom to eat. There are but a few options. One is to find someone in a session and offer to take them to lunch. This takes balls. The next option is to approach a group of people already eating and ask to join their table of friends. This takes even more balls. Last is to just being my laptop, jump online, and eat by myself. This takes no balls.
I suspect I will do all three.
As long as I push through the initial fear of approaching strangers and adding them to dinner, then I’ll be proud of myself.
But to be clear, eating is not the scariest part of going to a conference alone.
The nighttime parties are.
Each night there are really fun and crazy parties put on by the sponsors. Now, you might think it’s easier to make friends at a bar than just walking around a convention center, but for me it’s not. I’m not exactly cutting rugs, dancing jigs, or poppin’ and lockin’ my way to the dance floor’s heartbeat. Also, I don’t drink. I can’ even order up four Harvey Wallbangers and send ’em down to the skanky chicks in the micro-minis. Also, the music is always way too loud at these things, so it’s hard to talk.
The good news is that everyone else is there pretty much by themselves. You’d think it’s all computer nerds but there hardly any nerds in attendance. It’s all passionate people who blog about food, travel, fashion, being a mom, or themselves. So, in a sense, this is another example of going to a bar all alone. The difference is that many of these people will be by themselves or with their one buddy.
You know, I just wrote myself out of the fear. I’m totally good now.
Okay, now that everything is fixed, why don’t I leave on a weird note. On 12/31/12 my traffic doubled. Why? I went to trust Google Analytics to find out. Turn up that I was #1 on Google that day for the lovely key phrase “New Year P**n.” I don’t think I’ve even written the p word ever on this blog. No idea. But, I am glad to get some of those perverts over here. They need to laugh, to.
Notice how I made the assumption that whoever comes over here is guaranteed to laugh? Oh yeah! I said it!
gina says:
you rock! and from one loner to another, i feel your fear my friend. i’ll be sure to send you good vibes of confident energy, all the way from Colorado. keep us informed of your time in Vegas.
D.J. Paris says:
Colorado, where good vibes are second only to northern California. I only take vibes from chicks who shave, though. No hairy armpits and legs!
Kelly @ In the Mom Light Blog says:
I get a lot of perverts & weirdos searching phrases such as small boobs big nipples, horse asshole, real sexy moms, asshole hair, chocolate poop, how babies are made, moms ass, panty pooping, tiny boobies, mommy was very bad, awesome pics of sad girls, candy cane in vagina, armpit fart….. and the list goes on. The crazy thing is that these are the things people search to find my blog that I felt comfortable posting here some stuff is cray cray!! On that note, WTF have I been blogging about that I rank in google for this shit??? NOw, I just dropped a bunch of these awesome “keywords” on your site – have fun with the creepy traffic 😉
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks for stuffing my comments with awesome keywords. Luckly G doesn’t take them into account for SEO. Horse a-hole. If I start ranking for that I’m coming over to smack you atop your head.
Abbie Gale says:
I want to start a secondary blog where I hunt down the people that find my blog with search terms such as “na%ed little boys” and “boys sleeping in und*rw*ar” (and why am I now afraid to type these words?) and tatto across their foreheads, “I look at pictures of kids with dirty intensions” on their forehead.
I went to my one and only conference for blogging at BlogHer ’12 and I will from now on attend every conference wearing a fake vibrator company badge so people will talk to me because…HELLO I am awkward! That is why I blog. Wear a vibrator badge and those women (and some men) will chase me all over. Who needs to have readers when you have a fake vibrator company and your carrying around a a giant bag that is filled with empty vibrator sized boxes in them?
D.J. Paris says:
The Trojan booth accounted for 97% of all BlogHer 2012 conversations. Thanks for coming over and saying hello, by the way. Lame!
Tracey Grady says:
First of all, I’m not going to plant any suspect keywords in this comment 🙂
I’ve been to conferences where I’ve known virtually no one there. Turns out, lots of people know no one there, and they all want someone to talk to. Getting to know people was easier than I thought it would be.
I went to a bloggers conference a year ago and a surprise speaker was Tim Ferris who happened to be in town at the time. One thing he said that stuck with me, was that he used to prepare for conferences by finding out who else would be going, choosing who he wanted to connect with, grabbing them out in the corridor and taking them for a beer. He said he didn’t go to any of the scheduled talks at those conferences but made lots of great connections.
D.J. Paris says:
You’re right about nobody knowing anyone. I’ll just plod ahead and be my outgoing self!
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:
Don’t worry about the parties. You’ll be golden. Just make sure somebody is making wearable balloon animals and it’ll be a slam dunk. As for lunch – watch those lemon seeds, mister. 😉
D.J. Paris says:
I should wear a giant balloon animal like at BlogHer! Now I just need to find a clown who can assist with the balloons.
nothingbythebook says:
I like the idea of casting conference parties/dinners as a chance to redeem yourself. 🙂 I’m sure it’ll be a blast.
D.J. Paris says:
I’ll try to keep the awesomeness to a reasonable level as to not embarrass the others.
MILF Runner says:
Be sure to break the cardinal Vegas rule and tell us all about it. Everything. None of that “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” bullshit. My blog is brand-new so I have no weird search stories.
D.J. Paris says:
Fine. Even if I end up with two five’s, that doesn’t equal one 10!
Emelie says:
I’m totally the same way. When I went to Bouchercon for Mystery writers this year I found that just walking up to strangers and talking to them is a lot harder than one would think… I would love to go to BlogWorld or a BlogHer convention, though. I’m so jealous! Can’t wait to hear about it!
D.J. Paris says:
I’ll do a full report! And thanks for commenting!
Te says:
I’d love to go to a blog convention. It’s sounds awesome!
D.J. Paris says:
You can be my special guest. FYI, I’m going to need you to sleep in the bathtub. I get the king-sized bed.
Kelly says:
Trust me…you’ll be fine! Almost everyone there will have no one with them that they know…most people are a bit insecure when meeting new CROWDS of people. Just walk in like you own the place…! Shake what your mama gave you:->
D.J. Paris says:
This is true. I’m actually very outgoing. But I’m a douche that needs to “own the place.” I’ll just walk in with my tight jeans and bend over a lot so that women can see my goods. That should work fine!
Georgie82 says:
How can you not make friends with comments like that? 🙂 I am new to reading your blog, but I swear I didn’t find it by searching for New Year P**n. (hands to the face) Have fun!
Mary Wallace (@ViolaFury) says:
I think you have nothing to worry about here. The very fact that you’re going to be at the Media Fest or whatever it’s called with all of these other passionate people presupposes interest on their parts as well. They’re going to be just as interested in what you have to say. You have lots to say and know lots of stuff. Don’t worry about grammar and syntax. That’s like worrying about what flavor of Windows everyone is running, when we really should worry about whether or not we’re running in Base 2 or is it after all, Base 3? It’s all just window dressing. You’ve got lots to say and a ton of heart; coupled with your insouciant style and sense of fun. Pshaw, you’ll have them eating out of your hand!
Kate Hall says:
I hope you’re planning to tweet while you’re there. Enjoyed reading your tweets from Aiming Low Non-Con.
zentrEve says:
I can understand how uncomfortable it can get to go to a huge event without anybody you know, staying there and also getting a chance to meet people. My biggest problem used to be the opener–the approach is an easy one coz you can throw anything about, but it was what fell in retinue of the small exchange in casual eye contact, when you know it’s time to say hi and talk.
Personally, I highly doubt you’d have a problem in striking up a conversation that lasts because you seem pretty affable in your written word and this time you’ve decided you won’t let yourself be alone! As far as your mindset is concerned you’re commitment will loosen up the tongue itself. Sure for a while you may hide behind your laptop on the table but eventually you will join in the spirit of things; finding a small group of people with whom you can eat and have a good cohesive form of conversation with. If it’s one thing I’ve learned, it is this, even if you’re not the type who’d spring into action, there will be someone by the end of the event!
I’m guessing but I feel sure…that at these sort of occasions there will be a lot of people having a lot to say and not many would be concerned with these issues. A lot of egos out there in the world right s0o have a great time and many many good conversations this weekend!