Back when I went to BlogWorld I wasn’t sold on using Twitter to find new readers. I really didn’t understand what Twitter was despite having used it for over two years. I had a smattering of followers and no idea how to get more. Ironic because I was attending the largest social media event of the year.
But I really didn’t care. See, I was riding high on Google. At the time I was always #1 or #2 for terms like “best blog” and “funny blogs.” I was getting tons of traffic each day and thought I had gamed the system. Social media be damned!
Note: I am no longer #1 for any major keywords, and will tell that story soon. It involves murder AND espionage! Scout’s honor.
Since I was meeting all these big media gurus at the conference, I felt like a total loser when it came to Twitter. The guy who is number one for “funniest blog” should probably have more than 71 followers. So I did one of the douchiest things imaginable. I paid some dude to get me 3k fake Twitter followers. I think it cost me $10.
This is the equivalent of renting a Mercedes to pick up the dental hygienist that you asked out over the root canal. When you really have a Tercel.
Yes, I did it to try to impress people. Very lame. But I did admit it here, because, well, because this blog is about revealing the hard truths.
So, about six weeks ago I wanted to find real people on Twitter and introduce them to my blog. I started learning and networking like crazy, which was difficult because I didn’t have one single friend that uses Twitter.
I’m proud to say that I hit my ten thousandth follower today. Now this isn’t a true ten thousand, as I probably still have a thousand fake Twitter followers (the rest have fallen away). But, it’s a start.
I know it sounds like I’m bragging, but I’m not really. I don’t care much for status or anything that screams, “Hey, look at me!” I goof around about how awesome I am here, but it’s really just for comedy. I mean, my hair is awesome. No joke.
You probably found me through Facebook, Google searching, or (most likely) Twitter. I am so appreciative that you are reading these words. Please stick around.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. If you’d like to to “like” me on Facebook, click right here. Thanks! You’re a swell gal. Or fella. Or maybe you’re one of those weird two gender types with both parts! I wouldn’t mind asking you a few questions about how that works. You probably got to pick your own name. If so, I would have chosen Shelly. Nobody’s named Shelly anymore and it might as well be you and your vagina-nuts.
HeyMikey says:
Your name might have been Shelly if you were an old Borscht Belt comedian. It would have been short for Sheldon or some such, but you would have been all man, one with a story that you’ll tell repeatedly always leaving out one considerable detail (it’s how you maintaining control) , a chip on your shoulder and desires that are bigger than your ethics.
HeyMikey says:
Your name might have been named Shelly if you were an old Borscht Belt comedian. It would have been short for Sheldon or some such, but you would have been all man, one with a story that you’ll tell repeatedly always leaving out one considerable detail (it’s how you maintain control), a chip on your shoulder and desires that are bigger than your ethics.
CarrieSieffert says:
I’m one of your tweeps. I’m special – like 1 in 10,000 – kinda special. I don’t get twitter either…it confuses me. I have 28 followers and follow like 37 people because I just don’t grasp the concept…I try and be loyal to every follower by reading their blogs and the idea of trying to read 10,000 blogs frightens me…
D.J. Paris says:
@CarrieSieffert Oh, I don’t read people’s tweets. My followers are beneath me.
Tiff Stauffer says:
Well, I found you (about six weeks ago) because you followed me on Twitter so I followed you back because you seemed like a swell kind of crazy. Nice to know I was just one of 10,000, I thought you followed me because I was awesome. I wish I could pretend to be offended, but I’m not. And I really want to see what finally gets your cat to stop peeing on your bed.
HeyMikey says:
@Tiff Stauffer “And I really want to see what finally gets your cat to stop peeing on your bed.”
Woodchipper.
D.J. Paris says:
@HeyMikey @Tiff Stauffer Thinking about renting one. Waiting for a coupon.
D.J. Paris says:
@Tiff Stauffer Your awesomeness is debatable. Working on a final judgment on that. Will keep you posted.
D.J. Paris says:
Your name might have been named Shelly if you were an old Borscht Belt comedian. It would have been short for Sheldon or some such, but you would have been all man, one with a story that you’ll tell repeatedly always leaving out one considerable detail (it’s how you maintain control), a chip on your shoulder and desires that are bigger than your ethics.