I’m like a baby.
I don’t mean because I whine and cry and throw tantrums. I do, but that’s not where I’m heading here.
My routines are that of an infant. That’s probably exaggerated for dramatic narrative effect. And it’s certainly a subjective assessment. But let me make the case.
I am going to tell you the biggest disappointment of my life. No, it wasn’t that time I was fired from my crappy first job out of college. It wasn’t even the time my wife announced she was filing for divorce.
My biggest disappointment is when I realized that women don’t really care if a man is blonde.
Every other Monday after work I got to a men’s group where we talk about our lives, feelings, dealing with stuff, etc. Sounds girly? Nah. We do hug each other hello, though. Then we push the other guy away and yell a homophobic slur.
Last time I brought up my therapist’s office, I wrote about the girl who I see each week in the waiting room. An update to that story is that we both rode the elevator down together, just her and I, a month ago. We said hello and smiled at each other. First contact.
Was 98 degrees in Chicago and we tooled around doing stuff outside. My mom, dad, girlfriend, sister and boyfriend are all here.
One of the weird body things I have that I can’t seem to change is this sweating thing.
Here’s the deal. I don’t sweat under my armpits. Not sure why. I mean, maybe it’s just that I use deodarant, but I’m pretty sure most dudes do. Some guys, though, halfway through the workday their nastiness has bled through the undershirt and into the Brooks Brothers. It’s awful to look at, and those poor shirts just get ripped up. Those guys might as well just buy yellow shirts to match the future armpit stains.
Yes. I’m talking about you.
(I address my bicycle as “you”.)
I know. That was dumb. And made you feel uncomfortable for a moment. Especially if you’re a dude. Well, I guess maybe not all dudes would have felt uncomfortable. Certain ones.
No, not really.
But I got your attention, right? What a sneaky dick!
I was curious to see how many words I’ve written since I started this fakakta blog. Thankfully, as Apple puts it…
There’s a piece of electronic computing software that is available to download and install that will perform a series of applicative tasks on your behalf.
There are a couple of issues with my site that have been bothering me.
The speed thing is being looked at. Because my site has so much design (most blogs don’t), it’s tricky to keep the integrity of the graphics and also have the blog load at a decent clip. Thanks for being patient, and we’ll get it fixed.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
