I can't believe I ate just a few of you. Moderation is weird.
What do you do to soothe yourself when you’re having a rough day?
I stared at my therapist blankly.
By 10am I had been having a “not feeling good” kind of morning. The cold and the sludge and no sun – it was affecting my well-being. I was bummed. Plus, I hadn’t slept enough the night before. Not in a good mood.
Hey, at least when I publish crap, it's free!
Years ago I used to bother celebrities on Twitter and write about the interactions.
I called it CelebTweets. After a few posts went live a television producer contacted me with an idea. If I wrote fifty more of these she could pitch it to publishers and get a book made.
I mostly just throw tantrums
My friend received a crazy note on her car yesterday.
She had not done the best parking job. She works in a high rise building in the downtown area of Chicago. The garage where she parks is only ever around half full. She woke up late and was hustling to work. By the time she made it to the parking garage she was flustered. She parked the car in a half-assed manner and ran to the elevator. Because of all the empty space she didn’t think twice about it.
Okay, it wasn't as good as this one...
Some time ago I received a private message from a reader.
In this note the person claimed to be having an affair with another of my readers. I thought this was the coolest thing. Two readers met on my blog and fell in love! When I inquired further, however, the person mentioned that both are currently married. That made me feel less good. I ceased inquiring.
While not wildly adept at playing craps, I am pretty decent at taking... forget it
I’m a terrible gambler.
This foolio has been living at the Rio in Las Vegas for the past three days. I haven’t sat down once at a table or slot machine.
I am surrounded by opportunity to play games and win some dough. So why aren’t I gambling?
Whoever photog'ed this makes a penny look pretty g-d glamorous.
Do you pick up spare change lying on the ground?
I realized this fact on Christmas Eve during our family’s annual holiday party. Carolyn and Laura are two sisters who grew up in our neighborhood. They’re both very successful. One’s a realtor and the other an attorney. The attorney (Carolyn) stated she always picks up change she stumbles across in the real world. Laura does not.
This one's on my bucket list. I call it the Japanese Businessman.
Yesterday I wrote about how I can fall asleep faster than Jessie Owens sprinting to the bathroom with diarrhea.
Nice – I managed to work in a Jessie Owens reference. Need to update my references. Not very timely.
Since I spend more time on my back than the ladies of a Thai cathouse, I thought I’ve give you some ways to spice up things in the bedroom. No this list isn’t dirty. You can figure out your own grossness. I’m talking about the purity of awesome that is sleeping.