I need to tell on myself, to once again reveal an insecurity.
Last night a woman contacted me online, who happens to be the wife of a national television news anchor. (…and no, this isn’t Gertie Rather)
I just guessed that Dan Rather’s wife would be called Gertrude, even though a simple Google search revealed that she is actually named Jean.
Back in November 2009, I participated in Mo’vember, which is a charity to raise awareness for men’s prostate cancer.
Basically, you grow a mustache, hit up your friends for money, and then shave it off December 1.
I had never grown one before, and let me tell you a few things.
I haven’t figured out why, but sometimes I wake up farting.
You’d think that after 35 years I would have reverse engineered this algorithm, but I truly haven’t.
Now, I know this topic seems incredibly immature and sophomoric, but let me explain myself.
Last post I talked about a girl who, in college, dressed up like Michael Jackson to speak to our abnormal psychology class about pedophilia.
This girl also had a tiny squeaker.
I was very attracted to her, whom I’ll call Becky Katsopolis (Lori Loughlin) from the tv show, Full House. She looked sort of like her.
I received an extremely interesting email yesterday.
Let me back up a few steps and start that over.
Most of my readership, it appears, are women. I have no way to verify this, but judging by the emails that comes in, it’s almost always from ladies.
So, this just happened.
I was on the phone talking with a friend, lying down on the bed in the second bedroom, when all of a sudden I smelled smoke. I leaped up, ran into the hallway, and noticed smoke accumulating around the ceiling lighting. My first thought was the air conditioner. Even though it’s sort of past air conditioning season, today was 82 here in Chicago. Since I’m on the top floor of my condo building, it’s always extremely hot. When it’s 70 outside, it will register as 77 inside, so the air has to be on.
I was at a men's weekend retreat recently. The whole program was designed around “finding your shadow.“
What is one's shadow? It's the darkest parts of us, the most depraved, undesirable characteristics that we all embody. The shadow is the part that wishes you could go machine gun all those guys who pound on buckets with drumsticks after Cubs games.
A few months ago, I was getting very little traffic to my site. I almost never updated it, and had sort of stopped writing. This makes no sense as writing is one of my favorite things to do. Plus, I’m kinda funny.
So I finally decided to take this thing more seriously and write almost every day.
Familiar with Salvador Dali? Sure you are. He’s the guy that painted all those trippy clocks.
Salvador Dali also had a rocking mustache.
Just thought I’d share a piece I bought in Santa Fe, strictly because it made me laugh as I entered the gallery. I’m a huge Salvador Dali fan.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
