I got excited because my friend Karen texted me she was in the tub.
Well, yes, I guess I could have become excited because she’s not exactly unattractive. But that didn’t occur to me in the moment. I jumped up from my sofa and bolted directly into the guest bathroom. My master bath just has a boring walk in shower. It’s kind of fancy, but I needed to soak with a friend.
I relay my addiction to white hair plucking and the three things I should have known about food but didn’t. Sadly.
Turns out my mom was wrong.
Sure, there are moments when my condo resembles a dishelved hobo riding the rails, but mostly it’s close to tidy. Note I said “tidy” and not “clean.” I never dust and rarely sweep. If I’m having someone over I run the Swiffer. It’s not really supposed to double as a vacuum, but, hey, close enough.
D.J. interviews viral blogger and author Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat. We talk about stuff. It’s fun.
I thought that when I took my writing vacation a ton of great ideas would hit me. My batteries would be recharged, so to speak.
Didn’t happen.
Looks like I’ll just continue to trudge along writing about my daily life. You seem to like that best anyway. The good news is that the book is essentially done. The first draft is complete and I need to figure out what Amazon needs to greenlight it. Probably some editing. I decided not to do the whole book in Comic Sans font, by the way. If you’re not familiar this is the most reviled of all the fonts. I still think it would have been funny. But, Times New Roman, you old classic bastard, won over my heart. Actually I think Word just defaults to that and I shrugged – good enough.
D.J. gives two confessions for the price of none! First up is something truly terrible he does on the phone and the second is the greatest fear of his life.
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My furnace went kaput last Friday.
It turns out you’re supposed to clean the filters every few months or so. You’d think this would have dawned on me after eight years of owning a place. But I’m kind of a moron when it comes to that stuff. I’m good at sitting down on the ground, pulling up a laptop and writing. I don’t do much cleaning except to say that I try to reduce clutter. That is my version of cleaning – putting things away. As the dust piles, it piles on empty tables. I’m proud of this. It’s a sad badge of honor.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
