I Need A Wake–Up Call, Literally

I have come to a sad and shameful realization.     For some reason over the past few weeks,   for perhaps the first time in my life…

I am not waking up on time.

Here’s my routine.     I arise at 6am,    shower, and slip into a t–shirt and shorts.     I jump on my bicycle, strap the dog to my back and ride downtown.

Not Like This
Not Like This.

Since I live in Chicago I am fortunate to ride along Lake Michigan which is beautiful and exciting.

This all changed the night of Obama’s 50th birthday.

I was riding home in hot weather at 6pm on a Tuesday.     It’s 10 miles each way,   and by the last few miles I’m a total mess.

I’m a body–sweater.   You know how some guys have to wear deodorant because they sweat and stink from their armpits?     I don’t.   In fact,   just for a goof I didn’t wear deodorant for a full year,   just to see if I could.   Nobody noticed.

So Effective... I Skipped A Year. (nice! I made a Mitchum joke!)

My body, however, starts to sweat at the drop of a hat.   It’s really sexy during outdoor parties.   Girls love it.   (just kidding – they don’t).

So, I’m riding home and suddenly my pedal snaps clean off.   Thankfully I was only a few miles from home.   I walked the bike, all sweaty, toward my condo and past thousands of on-lookers.   Obama’s party was exactly two doors down from me.

I took my bicycle in the next day and decided to get a bunch of upgrades.   The repairs were estimated at three weeks, as they had to order the parts.   Then after the three weeks, they forgot to order something, so another three weeks have been added.   Oh well.

And I think this is the big problem.   It’s not like I’m waking up early and doing P90x or anything.   I’m just not exercising.   And going from 20 miles a day to nothing is kind of a shift.

So, after fighting with my body for a few weeks, I came to a realization.   At 35, I really need an accountability partner.   To wake up.

To do the most basic life task.

It’s not like I’m a total bozo.   I shave, shower, do laundry, and clean the cat litter without issue.   I pay my bills and keep a to-do list.   I even update this blog pretty regularly.

But I had to call a friend the other day and say (hat very much in hand), “Do you think you could phone me tomorrow at 6am for a wake-up call?”

He said, “Of course!” and didn’t even seem to have a second thought or judgement.

It’s good to have friends who just do stuff when you ask and need it.   So, with all that being said..

I could really use a shiatsu hot stone massage tomorrow night.   Please bring a massage table.   Ladies only.

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3 thoughts on “I Need A Wake–Up Call, Literally”

  1. Gutmeister says:

    I can empathize with you about having trouble getting up. Though, since I don’t exercise at all, I’m pretty sure my problem is just being a lazy bastard all around.

  2. Michelle says:

    I feel your pain. Both from not being able to wake up AND having to ask a favor of a friend. I would probably just oversleep so you are a better man than I. (er… wait) Maybe when you get your bike back you should get a bigger dog (like in the photo) to up your workout and make up for lost time? If you can’t carry both dogs on your back then the bigger dog can hold Ms. Meepers in his mouth and everyone is happy! (Except Ms. Meepers)

  3. Michelle says:

    I have done the wake up call duty for a friend already. I forget why I had to do it, but I was up, so I did it. Since I stopped working, I’m lucky if I’m up for the day before noon. I see dawn from the other end far more often these days. If it gets any worse, I’ll just have to give in and become a vampire, I guess. But I’ll really miss garlic.

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