During my vacation I’m publishing posts from some of my favorite bloggers. Today is the fantastic Lovelyn Bettison, author and blogger at NebulousMooch.com.
Presidents’ Day was Monday and somehow I managed to miss it. I look forward to celebrating Lincoln’s and Washington’s birthdays by buying sheets for 50% off all year. It’s the perfect way to pay tribute to two honored American heroes. Establishing a new republic, abolishing slavery, and getting high thread count sheets at a steel of a deal are all related after all. I’m sure neither President settled for a thread count of less than 1,000.
Do you wonder how I know that? I looked it up that’s how.
I know that there are sales on more than just linens on Presidents’ Day these days, but I still like to play it old school and stick to the sheets and towels. It’s supposed to be a Presidents’ Day White Sale not a Presidents’ Day Everything Sale. All the true patriots know that.
This year I missed all of the bargains because I was too busy doing other things. What could be more important than buying sheets for 50% off? Preparing for the destruction of humanity by flying space debris, that’s what. When we’ve all burst into flames in a giant explosion that looks something like this…
… but a lot bigger, all the new white sheets and fluffy towels in the world won’t mean anything. My day of preparing taught me one thing. You can’t really prepare for a giant asteroid to slam into the Earth.
So now that I’ve completely wasted a perfectly good President’s Day, I was wondering why we only celebrate Presidents’ Day one day a year. We’ve had a whole lot of presidents. Why not pay tribute to all of them? What did George Washington have that Millard Fillmore didn’t? What makes Abraham Lincoln any better than Chester A. Arthur?
We’ve had forty-four presidents so far. I figure it’s best to stick to the same pattern that we have now. So if we celebrate two presidents on each holiday that gives us an even twenty-two extra holidays. If you add that to the other six Monday holidays in the year you get twenty-eight of the fifty-three Mondays in an average year off from work. Who doesn’t want another Monday off? Nobody, that’s who.
I’m declaring next Monday Ronald Regan and William Henry Harrison Day. They were both born in February and need to be celebrated. Don’t take down that American flag garland yet, Monday’s another holiday.
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