Six weeks ago I put up a post where, as a thank-you to your readership and support, I asked you to promote your blog here.
It ended up becoming the biggest day in this blog’s history. Within 48 hours over two thousand people visited. Many of you saw traffic spikes and gained new visitors. Awesome!
As a goof I told you to write me a poem as the cost of admission. I think nearly a hundred of you did. And I am very sad to say that those poems have been lost. I wish I wasn’t saying it, because you did spend time on these – some were funny, some were sad, others joyful, and many about what dicks your kids are.
Here’s what happened. A few days before BlogHer, the site went down late at night. No problem, that’s why I have a backup server that does it’s thing nightly. Since I have never had to use it before, it took me a few hours to figure out how to restore the backup. Here’s where I screwed up.
I restored an old copy of the site that was a month old. I didn’t realize this initially, and as I was adjusting things, the backup server started it’s daily backup. And it backed up my site as it was (which was the old backup). Which overwrote the actual backup I needed.
Confused? Whatever – just realized I f’d up. Bad.
I lost about a thousand comments including all the poems. While we’ll all move on with our lives, I really am very sad about this mess. The poems were really fantastic and even though it started as a joke, it turned into something very special for me.
I feel like I owe you one. Let’s try this again.
In the comments below – promote your blog. Give us your link and a description.
Oh, and you MUST tell us something embarrassing about yourself. That’s it.
Pimp away!
(as you did before, pass this to all your friends – let’s make it a party!)
Yes, it’s another Wil Wheaton pimp photo. It has to be, of course.
photo credit: WilWheaton via photo pin cc
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208 comments… read them below or add one
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One of my top humiliating moments is when my mom bought me my first bra in seventh grade. I showed it off to my gym classmates…why? Because my bra opened up. Yep, my poor hippie mom purchased a nursing bra for her 13-year-old – from a garage sale no less. My nickname was “mama” for the remainder of the school year. For more stories like these and moments that matter, visit my blog http://www.clearlykristal com.
I’ll bite. My dad raised my brother, sister and I after the divorce. Nothing wrong with that and I accredit him for my being who I am today. But I could have lived without all those years of him hollering around stores on the weekly family grocery shopping trips, “You girls got your “cotton donkeys?” If you don’t know, I’m not explaining! but I’d love to see you on my Ranch at http://calisarhose.wordpress.com/chit-chat
hey, gabi here at http//www.gabiklaf.com. our family of five is on a slow, meandering stroll around the globe for the next five years. as we travel, i’m seeking my own higher spiritual self, cleaning my soul, and doing other good stuff like learning to play guitar, spend real time with my kids without rushing off to do the next thing, and exercising tons. tons of embarrassing things like how i still can’t spell ‘embarrassing’ without spell checker, how often i fantasized about those hot 20-year old Latinos while spending a year in latin america, how our ‘we’re-so-bonded-and-close-cuz-we-travel-the-world’ family still can fight like madmen over the stupidest shit like who gets to sit next to mom or whose turn it is to wash that spoon, and how i teach ‘clean your soul’ spirituality classes here in siem reap, cambodia and sometimes, i am the farthest thing from spiritual that one can be…. ah, just too many. visit the blog and you’ll see how hard-core real (but optimistic) i am.
gabi
Happy to give this a go. I’m Mag, the owner/author of The Mocking Magpie at http://themockingmagpie.com. Feel free to come by and poke around anytime!As for embarrassing moments: A friend of mine just moved back into town and we are letting him store some of his belongings in our storage unit until he finds a house. While he was in the process of moving I realized that I had pulled a bonehead move and forgotten to tell him that I had a large box of good “china” dishes in the unit. So I called him to let him know, where they were and asked him to please be careful not to break them, then got off the phone. What I didn’t realize was that my 6 year-old daughter was eavesdropping on the conversation. So from the back seat I hear “Mom, what’s a ‘china? Cause the only “‘chinas’ I know about is the one where Ni Hao Kailan lives and the one that’s between our legs.” …………. I had to pull over and park I was laughing so hard. Then I had to explain the difference between “china” dishes, “China” the country, and “Vaginas” to my daughter.. needless to say it was awkward.
The Mocking Magpie Laughed so freakin hard! Gotta love the little ones.
CalisaSelfridge Yeah, mine are spectacular, especially when it comes to things they shouldn’t say, but do anyway.
Here’s my blog on music: http://ikohausmusicgroup.blogspot.com/ I’ve my been a musician and enjoying music since 1963, know a lot of cool cats like my childhood friend Richie Morales that went on to be the drummer for Spryro Gyra. But on this 16th of August I can’t forget my Woodstock experience. Everyone was bathing skinny dipping in the lake on the property, but I was so African American un-Hippy like that I stood at the lakes edge for about 20 minutes debating with my self to take off my clothes and get clean, and just couldn’t get up the nerve to get naked. So I stayed dirty for 3-days and smelled like cow pasture manure when I got home back to the Bronx, NY that day back in August of 1969.
http://www.bethanymyers.blogspot.comIn the year of our Lord, nineteen hundred and eight-four, I was on a grade 9 class trip. White water rafting+stomach flu+tight fitting wet suit+spontaneous diarrhea=embarrassing moment Even now, many years later it lives on as a legend on to be retold like some Mad Max intro around the camp fire. “Every night we does the tell…”
br_myers You shit yourself freshman year. You lost the opportunity to be on prom court at that exact moment of brown.
br_myers You poor poor woman…
Well I have an entire post dedicated to my most embarrassing moments! I’m Julie- I’m on Paris’ menu bar, so that makes me cool (I think), I am known for blurting indiscretions, writing about vaginas…and animals. Odd mix. I promise I’m not a lunatic. Visit me at http://jdeneen.com. Or you can click on the link on Paris’ sidebar, which might be a better idea because then he gets the credit for the traffic. Then I might just continue to advertise with him, which means more money for him- who doesn’t get happy about that?You want to know what’s embarrassing? When your doctor catches you stimulating your nipples in hopes that it jumpstarts labor contractions. Awkward. I have more great ones here…http://jdeneen.com/2012/07/31/researching-embarrassment-likelihood-in-normal-people/
Julie DeNeen Julie get a +100000000000000000000000000 for being an advertiser. Go visit her site!!!!
Julie DeNeen Hah! Love it!
The Mocking Magpie I vowed I would never tell a soul about that incident until I realized how hilariously funny it was (as long as I wasn’t the main character in the story). Made a little adjustment in my thinking- now, who cares what people know!!! LOL
Julie DeNeen Precisely
My blog is called The Road to Personal Success, although I write about things outside my subject matter a lot lately just to keep myself writing. It’s about career, being gen y, the stupidity in society, and other random things. http://donewithcollege.wordpress.comAs for embarrassing moment…I’ve run smack dab into a sliding glass door that was way too clean…once at my teacher’s house the first time I’d been there. The other time I don’t remember well probably because I suffered mild amnesia. Not sure.
@Samantha Watching women fall down is always hilarious.
once in a bad punk rawk bandBeefpimps was the name we spreadNow as a poor painter on welfarein what some people claim is thegreatest city on the planetI can not agree with themnot while I’m so brokeMy pictures and writings you can readat http://nathaneckenrode.comif you leave me some commentsit would restore my hope.
Well, screw me for being prompt!! I was like the sixth person to comment, way way down there. So I’m spamming myself again.Alright, for starters my blog is a random mish-mush of the crap I think is interesting. Mostly my humorous take on what’s going on around me, some girly cooking stuff, and a lot about being cheap. (and not just in a sexual way) The URL is http://sweet-heart.net Subscribe, comment, grow to adore me, and I will do the same for you. I am also into gaining some twitterers. You can follow me @kishes and again, I will gladly return the favor. Now for my embarrassing thing. It is nearly impossible to narrow it down to one thing, considering most things about me are embarrassing. But I guess we can go with the fact that I toot in my sleep. I sometimes wake myself up, only to realize I’ve let out a honker, and my boyfriend is awake. I pretend to still be asleep, and I am so thankful he doesn’t bring it up. We’re not at the point where we’re really okay with farting yet. I can’t imagine how he can possibly keep from laughing.
MicheleLeAnn Farting during sleep is something that a woman should never do. You ought to be ashamed. For shame!
tfpHumorBlog RIGHT? I feel so so ashamed. :(
HI and thanks for the opportunity, My blog is http://advertisinginconstruction.com and its for all you product manufacturers who are looking to market you products or engage on the internet in any way.As far as embarrassing moments go weeelllll, I was at home in my younger days enjoying some private time with my then girlfriend, my parents were out and we were getting it on. When we had finished I turned around to see a couple of coffee’s on the table. My parents were back early. The best part of it was that to this day nothing has ever been mentioned, ohhh good I am going red thinking about it. Why did I share this
Paulsalesman Unless they saw you mid-coitus, this does not qualify as embarrassing.
Awww….so sad that all our poems got lost! But now I can say that I wrote it with perfect prose and metric pentameter…if that even means anything…sound like it does!Anyway! Embarrassing: I peed myself over and over again during my first marathon. You can read about it if you go to my blog and click on my ‘Marathon’ label.www.ericamos.blogspot.com
Here’s my blog: http://vintagelifedesign.blogspot.com/2012/08/vintage-outfit-of-day-how-to-make-sure.html Embarrassing moments, just one? Really? How do I choose, I stick my foot and/or my keyboard in my mouth on a regular basis! However, I will dig one out from a few years ago. Living in England, at a Pub on the River in Derby with my brother & sister in law who were visiting. We’d been out and about all day. Finally, once we’d had a few beers, my sister-in-law tells me my skirt is totally see through. NO, I didn’t know it. She couldn’t have mentioned this earlier in the day? My husbands’ reply when I asked why he didn’t tell me, “you looked hot.” So yeah, ended well, but OMG, how embarrassing to know I’d inadvertently been “advetising” all day!
The most embarrassing thing to me is …I can’t remember one. I am constantly being embarrassed by something or other.Oh! I just remembered one…so I was pregnant with my 2nd child. About 7 months along. I had nightly heartburn that woke me up, gagging and coughing. One night, I woke up, feeling like I was going to choke on the burning bile and started coughing which I couldn’t stop. My husband (at the time) woke up and asked if I was ok. In my efforts to answer him, I peed! I peed my pants while choking on bile and crying.Good man that he is, he consoled me (while trying his hardest not to laugh IN MY FACE) and rolled me out of bed (did I say that I was 7 months and big as a beach ball). At 3 in the morning, he cleaned me all up as I sat there mortified.My blog is http:// http://www.ironingforlove.blogspot.com and I blog mainly for me, but if you’d like to read about my life, that’s ok too.
http://tashinacross.wordpress.comtashinacross i’ll do my most embarrassing moment: i was a sophomore at DeVry. a student… 30… should’ve known better… walked out of class taking a much needed break. i walked across the street to a grocery story to pickup my typical dinner, chips & a soda. using every second to it’s fullest, i call my bff… missed a curb, fell elbow to the ground, scraped my pants and my knee. all on voicemail. great, now there’s proof! i pick myself up. cussing. a hole in my workpants, a limp in my step, i look over… all of the students are standing on the stairs watching me. it was little less than terrific. humiliated, i limp back to class. i can’t even bend my knee. my face is ridiculously red. it was pretty awesome!
Hello DJ! and Hello TFP peeps! Here I am, doing comments for the very 1st time. “I’m excited!”, that’s all I can say. I love this website so very much…I really do. The posts always make me “LMFAO!”. Keep rocking, DJ! I’m here to support you!
Here’s my blog: MyLIFEin24Hours.wordpress.com
http://www.exlinkeventsblog.com/My embarassing moment is that I was with this girl who I am courting while I am telling her stories as we walk on a street I happen not to notice the open manhole and booom! in a few seconds I am inside the manhole. Luckily, I have a friend whose house is near that is where I got to wash myself to eliminate the foul smell. Well the incident won me the girl. She thought I was so funny.
Here’s the blog part of the equation… http://www.pixiecd.com/ It’s supposed to be a health and humor blog but is more of a “how I’m an idiot” blog.
Yesterday in a serious moment of foot-in-mouth disease I blurted out that I used to flash people in college…to a Gastrointestinal Doc. Why I thought that was pertient info to the visit? Who knows! But there’s nothing like telling a near-stranger in charge of your health care that you’re a reformed flasher.
Thanks for the opportunity, my blog is focussing on Internet on connection related issues in South Africa, as our connection speeds are much slower and we pay MUCH more if we need a decent connection speed.My blog is at http://www.franktechconnect.za.net/blogger/. Embarrassement is trying to figure out Wordpress and phoning my hosting service several times a day to help me to the extent that did not want to help me anymore, nevertheless it is up and running.
Sorry to join the party so late in the game — been offline for the last week or so as my hubz was out of town & shit kind of sucked. My blog is http://www.theworld4realz.com/ where I rant about things or try to be a better person or sometimes both at the same time which doesn’t always work out very well. During August I’m doing a Month of Controversy A to Z, which has been fun & pissed off lots of people. Embarrassing fact: I love Britney Spears music. There, I said it. Oh, not self-deprecating enough for you? Ok, I also love Justin Timberlake. Too contemporary? Fine — I still listen to Tiffany, all right? Happy now?
Andi Roo What’s embarrassing about that? I could mention that I played “The Alvin and the Chipmunk’s Christmas Song” in a trio once at Channelside plaza in Tampa in a string trio, until we got drowned out by the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. I could, but I won’t. We got paid for that shit, too. Talk about your classy event!
I have two blogs: http://RachelintheOC.com (my author site) and http://BadRedheadMedia.com (my biz site). Embarrassing: I was hanging out at a friend’s house in high school with my new boyfriend. People were partying and I had one toke — ONE — on some pot and immediately felt really out of it. What I didn’t know was that it was hash. Total lightweight that I am, I passed out for the entire party and at the end of the night, his parents had to drive me home. I’ll never forget my dad’s face as my boyfriend’s dad handed me off “Here’s your daughter.” Shame.
My blog is at http://sharongerlach.wordpress.com. Now for embarrassing – I had to think about WHICH embarrassing moment to make public, as there are so many in my past (and likely many more in my future…). When I was in my 20s, I was an assistant manager at a specialty toy store. When we had “challenging” customers – either angry, demanding, or simply high maintenance – I was called into action. I was coming off a really bad cold, developed bronchitis – and in the midst of that came “that time of the month.” In one pocket I had cough drops; in the other, O.B. tampons. You can guess this was a REALLY BAD IDEA. While helping an older couple select gifts for their grandchild’s birthday, I had a horrible hacking-coughing-wheezing fit. I dipped into my pocket for a cough drop, started unwrapping it, and watched in astonishment as the couple’s eyes widened in shock and they scurried away with out another word. Yep, I’d grabbed tampon by mistake.
OH MY GOD if I had to choose ONE THING embarrassing about me I couldn’t.You’d have set up a new site just for me: and it’s not a teaser/publicity stunt: I’m just “blessed” in that department.
ALSO: this is one of the coolest things I”ve seen on the internet.Love a man that doesn’t let his good looks hold him back.
What a good idea! I am a social anthropologist and I research flirting
behaviour. In my blog, I give advice about flirting, based on my
research of over 250 single people. You can find some scientific answers
at http://thesocialsocialanthropologist.com. As for an embarrassing
story, I once tripped in assembly? Luckily, my blog is not as lame as
that….
I have another one. I accidentally named my sweet children’s book about Heaven after a *Porn Star* AND registered their old domain. So I proudly started sharing the website with everyone I knew, and as soon as they pulled up the website it said “YOU CANNOT ACCESS THIS PAGE BECAUSE OF PORN CONTENT” http://www.bykatiegrant.blopspot.com
Katie Grant author Wow! That’s a major, was gonna say “boner.” Okay, I’ll say it. “Boner.”
Let’s see. I once drank a quarter of an ozarka bottle full of my own pee. I realize you are probably thinking WTF? You are nasty! How did you do that and who keeps a bottle full of pee laying around? In my defense, I was extremely thirsty and was chugging the “water”, so quite a lot had gone down the hatch as soon as I realized it wasn’t water. I blog at http://dumbstuffdrawn.blogspot.com where I share my embarrassing stories and other funny life failures.
It should be that my Facebook page has only 19 likes and 15 of them are my friends. And only 15 of my friends accepted the invite to like my page. Kind regards, mmUrban Girl’s Almanachttp://UrbanAlmanac.blogspot.com
I got food poisoning at the movie theater–the kind where I’m exploding out both ends. At one point I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. I had to sit outside the theater for 20 minutes with full pants waiting for my brother to pick me up. So disgusting!I blog at princess-of-whimsy.tumblr.com which is a caboodle of my fantasies and my realities. A cluster of my dreams and
my fears. A hodgepodge of things that make me laugh, capture my heart,
and/or work my mind. An assortment of things that tickle my fancy.
Basically, my mind and my heart on display.
Hello, wow… there are some seriously embarressing situations reported here. Makes me feel ever so slightly less embarressed about mine.I once lived in a tiny bedsit and one cold and rainy Sunday afternoon, I found myself messing about in my bedroom – Like you do. When I was desturbed by the doorbell, I reached for my robe, then answered the door. My landlord stood there, soaking wet with rain. He proceeded to tell me about his day, his plans for the properties he owned and various other irrelevancies. As he seemed to be going nowhere fast, I did what any self-respecting Brit does and offered him tea. While I busied myself in the kitchen he popped to the loo. When he returned, his cheeks were pink and eyes shone a little too brightly. When he’d gone, quite soon after that, I popped to use the loo… and there, sitting proudly on my bed, highlighted by the rosey illumination of the bedside lamp, was my Rampant Rabbit!Cringe!You can find my ramblings, mostly about books and writing and whatever else takes my fancy, at Shah Wharton’s WordsinSync – http://shahwharton.com/XX
Hey! I’m Jen.. Embarrassing stories? How much time ya got? Let’s see, I returned to college at the age of 34, and on my first day I was incredibly nervous. Like a nerd, I arrived like an hour early for my first class, and was forced to wait in the hall (outside of what I *hoped* was the right classroom) with a group of youngsters for the Prof to show up. While waiting, I decided to go the bathroom, as I have “nervous bowels”. I headed to the empty ladies room and properly laid out a TP barrier on the seat just like mama taught me, and sat down to do my business. My worst fears were realized when the bathroom filled with voices. F**k. Of course, someone just had to make a comment about the aroma in the john. I cringed, waited for them to leave, and finished up. When I returned to the hallway to continue my wait, I tried to look natural… There was a pretty good chance no one would know that I was the one who made the big stink in the shitter, right? Then suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around with a big smile on my face, hoping that I was about to make my first college friend. Behind me, a young girl who couldn’t have been no more than 20 stood, stifling a giggle. “Um, I just thought you should know that you have tissue paper coming out of the back of your pants.” And then, she returned to her circle of plastics, and fits of laughter erupted as I made a dash for the bathroom. True to her statement, there was a stream of TP trailing from the top of my jeans to the back of my knee. Clearly, my TP barrier had inadvertently been trapped in my jeans upon my rise from the throne. The worst part was making the trip back down the hall where the rest of the class was already seated, and of course, everyone turned to watch me walk in and search for a seat. Horrific. My nickname was “Charmin” for the rest of the semester. Also, it took me three tries to correctly spell “embarrassing” when I started this post. You can find my blog at http://www.gluttonessgourmet.blogspot.com
http://hippie-village.blogspot.com/Well here it goes…something embarassing about me just happened. As I sat here tapping away on my computer a bug fell on my leg and promptly scurried up my pants. It did kinda look like an ant so I guess you could say I had “ants in my pants”. I starting jumping around yelling, “I have a bug in my pants and quickly dropped my drawers in front of our picture window. Since I was in such a hurry I didn’t quite keep my panties up while performing the bugectomy so embarassing, I’d say so, and not so picturesque for the picture window. Anyways visit my blog http://hippie-village.blogspot.com/
Okay, well I’m so nervy as to slap two of my “funnier” posts up here. The first was admired by Amy Kennedy, one of our ROW80 sponsors; it blew her away. The second one is about my hatred for Mozart so bewarned. My most embarrassing thing?” Hard to tell, there is huge cavalcade of dumbness flittitn through my brain. My meds are “on” and I am frustrated as ALL FUCK just trying to type 3 little senteces Mercially, All I got is following myself on the coments of my blog. Gah, I hate thenthis happens.
http://www.homelesschroniclesintampa.blogspot.com/2013/01/row80-1st-qtr-post-7-sunday-check-in.html
http://www.homelesschroniclesintampa.blogspot.com/2013/02/row80-1st-qtr-post-11-not-check-in-more.html
So, I was the Queen of Sick for two months. This is why I deserved a title, and possibly a tasteful crown… Although I would not say no to a completely gaudy tiara. (Let it not be said that I am too picky!) I get a call from my Mom – who informs me she is still the boss of me. (Who knew? My kids were right!) She insists I go to her clinic (oh yeah – the boss-of-me gets ownership). “You need a Whooping cough test.” “No, I don’t.” (Like that EVER works! But I’m desperate, and childish, and I have NO shame). “Yes, you do. I told the doctor. He agrees, so come down right now.” “No I don’t.(Yeah, cause I just received my imaginary doctorate.) I already had every possible test – and x-rays!”Personally I think once you’ve been irradiated, you should be fabulous… After all, you had to wear the “outfit”. “See you in five minutes.” And like THAT – she wins!!! I want that superpower… And a cape. And maybe some sparkles. So I do as I’m told, because if she’s the boss, maybe she can still spank. You never know – it wasn’t illegal back then. I go in, the gloating was minimal – but don’t think I didn’t see that glimmer in her eye. I’m told to lay down… Damn, he’s got some kinda tube and I’m CLUELESS. “Are you ready?” “That all depends on what you’re going to do to me.” “I’m going to swab your nasal passage (EWWW), and I have to go all the way to your nasal cavity (WTF?!?!). So it’s not going to be pleasant.” Please note: when a doctor says this – RUN like your ass is on FIRE. Y’all – I had my brain roto-routered. Yuck and WTF!!! Tears are running down my face, I’m lying down and thinking “don’t friggin’ cough or you’ll DIE!!! Death by giant Q-tip, how’s that going to look in the paper?” He’s done, yells out the door (because privacy is no biggie in a small town) “She lived, but just barely!” Holy shit.
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