Six weeks ago I put up a post where, as a thank-you to your readership and support, I asked you to promote your blog here.
It ended up becoming the biggest day in this blog’s history. Within 48 hours over two thousand people visited. Many of you saw traffic spikes and gained new visitors. Awesome!
As a goof I told you to write me a poem as the cost of admission. I think nearly a hundred of you did. And I am very sad to say that those poems have been lost. I wish I wasn’t saying it, because you did spend time on these – some were funny, some were sad, others joyful, and many about what dicks your kids are.
Here’s what happened. A few days before BlogHer, the site went down late at night. No problem, that’s why I have a backup server that does it’s thing nightly. Since I have never had to use it before, it took me a few hours to figure out how to restore the backup. Here’s where I screwed up.
I restored an old copy of the site that was a month old. I didn’t realize this initially, and as I was adjusting things, the backup server started it’s daily backup. And it backed up my site as it was (which was the old backup). Which overwrote the actual backup I needed.
Confused? Whatever – just realized I f’d up. Bad.
I lost about a thousand comments including all the poems. While we’ll all move on with our lives, I really am very sad about this mess. The poems were really fantastic and even though it started as a joke, it turned into something very special for me.
I feel like I owe you one. Let’s try this again.
In the comments below – promote your blog. Give us your link and a description.
Oh, and you MUST tell us something embarrassing about yourself. That’s it.
Pimp away!
(as you did before, pass this to all your friends – let’s make it a party!)
photo credit: WilWheaton via photo pin cc
TheLibAubuchon says:
The elastic in my underwear once got so loose I just walked out of them; left them on the sidewalk and kept it movin’. My blog is http://www.realATLhousewife.com. Thanks, DJP!
MicheleLeAnn says:
TheLibAubuchon Something similar happened to me once when I was moving. I lived in the upstairs apartment, and was carrying the TV down. On the second landing, I literally lost my shorts. Luckily, I was only moving to the downstairs apartment, and could scuttle in before anyone really had the chance to see me. It was a good thing I wore cute underwear that day.
Natalie the Singingfool says:
Something embarrassing? Hmm, how about the time back in grade school when my nine-year-old-self thought it would be funny to call all my friends “Great American Lesbians” without knowing what the word “lesbian” meant? Hopefully that’s enough, because the time I drank too much and lost my car sounds so cliched.http://thecatladysings.com/Not really about cats. Mostly. Mostly a forum for wackiness and crazy capers involving art, writing, bad jokes about dead bodies from someone who works in the death industry, and the very odd stuff that happens to now-sober alcoholics. Go ahead, you know you want to read it…
Heather Stewart says:
I have a degree in Astrophysics but up until 10 years ago I thought Alaska was an island. This is something I will be explaining on my blog soon. http://meminimoo.blogspot.com/
TheLibAubuchon says:
Heather Stewart And I almost just peed. That’s hilarious.
Heather Stewart says:
TheLibAubuchon Always happy to help someone confirm that their bladder is functioning correctly 🙂
abubblylife says:
Something embarrassing- A glass of scalding tea broke and gave me 2nd degree burns covering both my thighs, I ripped off my pants because in shock, I thought my pants were burning me. Neighbors came to my pantless rescue and when I had to get up and climb the stairs (gurneys do not go on stairs apparently) my underwear fell and I mooned all 4 male neighbors who came over, two children and one woman (it was Hawaii, people actually come to help you there) A sidenote- I had ROCK OF LOVE with Bret Michaels paused on my DVR in background. Paused on two sets of size G boobs. Pantless, neighbors, DVR porn frozen on my tv- awesome! Then I had morphine and all was well with the world.I am a Mom DIY Blogger- http://www.abubblylife.com Come check me out! No, there is no mooning…
sarahdawndesign says:
A few years back I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy done at the same time. When I woke up I was passing gas consistently and couldn’t stop. I was only have awake but knew the Dr. was trying to talk to me. So since I couldn’t stop it I turned to my husband, shrugged my shoulders, and smiled in my half loopy state. I am a DIY blogger who loves color, planning parties, fashion, gardening, cooking, and life in general. http://sarahdawndesigns.blogspot.com/
MicheleLeAnn says:
Alright, for starters my blog is a random mish-mush of the crap I think is interesting. Mostly my humorous take on what’s going on around me, some girly cooking stuff, and a lot about being cheap. (and not just in a sexual way) The URL is http://sweet-heart.net Subscribe, comment, grow to adore me, and I will do the same for you. I am also into gaining some twitterers. You can follow me @kishes and again, I will gladly return the favor. Now for my embarrassing thing. It is nearly impossible to narrow it down to one thing, considering most things about me are embarrassing. But I guess we can go with the fact that I toot in my sleep. I sometimes wake myself up, only to realize I’ve let out a honker, and my boyfriend is awake. I pretend to still be asleep, and I am so thankful he doesn’t bring it up. We’re not at the point where we’re really okay with farting yet. I can’t imagine how he can possibly keep from laughing.
OdetoFunny says:
Hello DJ and everyone on the interwebs, I’m Alison Something embarrassing about me: Sometimes before sleep, I wonder where the guy who played new-kid Michael on Nickelodeon’s Salute Your Shorts Is. I promised my 8 year old self I would marry him one day. I’m a comedy blogger based out of Atlanta, but snarking on the world wide web: http://livinginatlanta.wordpress.com/
elpe12 says:
Hey everyone, I’m Ellie.Hmm…embarrassing…My first year of college, my newfound friends and I were drinking in one of our dorm rooms. It was my first time really drinking and I…overindulged. As I was laying flat on my back, I found myself vomiting straight up into the air, which proceeded to fall back down onto my face. This prompted my friends to edit a Foxtrot comic strip into a condensed version of the night that hung on my door all year.My blog is basically my life. Which may not be that interesting to anyone but myself. But whatever. It’s my blog. Sometimes the post may be funny, sometimes they may be sad, possibly pensive, and usually overdramatic. But that’s me: http://ellie-multidimensional.blogspot.com/
lifealmostfact says:
Hey everybody, I’m Indi from over at Life (Almost) Factual [ http://lifealmostfactual.blogspot.com/ ] where I record the crazy things that happen during my daily life. Something embarrassing about me that I would like everybody to know is that once on a basket ball trip in high school, I sat on a piece of chocolate without realizing it for the whole 4 hour ride to the opponent’s gym and melted it all over my butt..nobody told me and I didn’t know about it until I went to grab my wallet to buy something from the concessions stand. I looked like I had crapped all over myself…hmmm…I feel like this would be a really good blog post actually…. I’ll save the rest for there!
JenOsaurus says:
Should I type about the time I fell down the stairs into breakfast at a conference? Or the time my shirt came completely unbuttoned in WalMart? Or maybe the time I thought when my ex said “I want to be a couple again” he meant with me (and I kinda told the entire internet) but he really meant with anyone who isn’t me? So many choices! All this and more chronicled at http://whitfieldawesome.com – youwanttogotothere.
TechnicallyTroy says:
Cool idea. Always great to learn about new people and their interesting ideas. Ever write something embarrassing? Just out of college I had a monthly newsletter aiming to help people reach their goals, and was struggling to find a motivational topic for the month. It was March and a phrase that I apparently wasn’t too familiar with popped into my head. Soon after pressing send to thousands of subscribers I was alerted that it wasn’t the eyes of march… Anyway, trying to get back into writing while exploring web development and social media ideas at http://www.TechnicallyTroy.com
Katjaneway says:
The only embarrassing thing I can think of, is back in the 4th grade, some snickering kids asked me if I was a virgin. I said no because I thought it was a religious thing. (Hey, I was close!) Luckily, in the 4th grade, rumors don’t spread far. http://katjaneway.blogspot.com/ Kat in the HatMy blog is a lot about my escapades at my developing skills as a cook, and a journal of interesting shit that happens to me. I try to be funny when at all possible! o_O
Lyndawithy says:
Way back when, I lost a ton of weight and thought I was quite the hot tamale. I bought this sexy short skirt and crossed a major rotary/intersection to get to work. The cars were hocking. The truckers were cheering. Hoots and hollers. All because my sexy little skirt was tucked in my underpants. http://www.lyndabassett.com/lynda-with-a-y-blog/
Lyndawithy says:
Way back when, I lost a ton of weight and thought I was quite the hot tamale. I bought this sexy short skirt and crossed a major rotary/intersection to get to work. The cars were beeping. The truckers were cheering. Hoots and hollers.All because my sexy little skirt was tucked in my underpants.http://www.lyndabassett.com/lynda-with-a-y-blog/
TheAnonBloggers says:
I love Pokemon :)http://theanonbloggers.blogspot.com/
dadblunders says:
Mmmm….How about the time I walked around all day with my shirt inside out? No not good enoughHow about the time I wore two different colored shoes to work (they couldn’t even be the same type of shoes to make it worse)?? Still not good enough…How about the time I actually went into the dressing room to try on some shirts and forgot to take one off and set off the security alarm as I tried to leave (can I say I seem to have a real problem with dressing myself and clothing….okay enough said now….I won’t even mention what I have done to my 3-year-old son a few times….sigh) http://www.dadblunders.com/Aaron
CanadianBento says:
I’m 31 years old, a married, fully functioning adult… and I collect action figures. Transformers, specifically. And I’ve been doing it for well over 10 years…… Which is relatively normal for my family actually. My siblings and my husband collect action figures as well, and my closest friends do similar. Sometimes, I forget this is weird. Until I share it with “normal” people, like co-workers. :/I also like bento! My blog is http://canbento.blogspot.ca/
UHeardMeRight says:
http://www.thesexysinglemommy.com The uncensored truth about being a sexy single mommy.
SrslyAmusing says:
I’m a “grown ass man” and I, like one of the commenters below me (CanadianBento I’m looking at you), have 4 decks of Magic the Gathering cards set up on my dining room table at almost all times. I’m not running a nightly game or anything, but I also don’t use my dinner table for anything else so. There you have it. I have Magic Cards, and comic book art hanging on the wall of my bedroom.And my blog is http://www.takenseriouslyamusing.com and I talk about corporate life, personal life, and my generally humorous trials and tribulations.And a poem (because everyone loves haikus):Sail Boats, TreesComics and MuppetsAdorn Walls
HollysHere says:
Im embarrassed at this age Ive had to resort to writing the kind of blog I write.. stalking back my stalker. Be sure to read the Why Am I Doing This section too http://bustedbitchesandinternetstalkers.com/
fabbrunette says:
The most embarrassing thing… Hubs & I went out to an “all you can eat” Sushi place with another couple. We proceeded to eat too much and drink too much. Later on we went to my brother-in-law’s house drank some more and I tried to smoke some out of a gas mask (I don’t ever do it, so everyone thinks it’s funny when I do). So there I was, very drunk and a teensy bit high, I have sex with my husband and immediately after threw up all over the bed and passed out. Pure husband had to clean it up….Anyway: read my blog!http://www.fabbrunette.comFabulous me, brunette, loves Paris (the city), my kids, my dog and traveling…
Cody Underwood says:
I was sitting on a couch waiting to meet some very proper Brits. I bought a copy of Jamie Oliver’s magazine and placed it on my lap. I was finished reading it and was getting impatient. Well they finally walked in and the first thing the old lady did, after seeing me on the couch, was gasp and burry her face in her husband’s shoulder while he just turned red. Their son, my friend, busted out laughing. He pointed to the magazine. Again, it was face down on my lap. The back cover had a huge sausage ad. I sort of laughed too but dinner was awkward. I know his mom couldn’t stop thinking about my plump sausage. Oh well. http://www.codyunderwood.wordpress.comit‘s my blog about trying to be a professional writer.
Peanutlayne says:
Hmmm, too many things to choose. I’m still afraid of the dark and sleep with the lights on which is pretty sad considering my age. I write a humor blog, mostly about my life. I’m a stay at home mom to 5 kids so there is never a dull moment and plenty to write about. http://www.peanutlayne.com/
Elizabeth Newlin says:
Pretty sure I just pimped myself here a few days ago, but I’m totally a Blog-Whore, so here I go again. Embarrassing story: I used to read in the shower. Because I loved reading that much. And because I was shy enough I felt physically uncomfortable if I didn’t have a book on my person. It took awhile to break that habit, but I still keep a book in my car, one in my master bath, one in the downstairs bath and a kindle in my purse. Just for comfort. I write humor. You know, about funny things. Like the time my husband and I drove around looking for the plane crash in the mountains near our house before we realized chasing tragedies is tacky and then a police officer pulled us over and asked if we hit a horse. That doesn’t sound super funny, does it? SIGH.http://www.realestatetangent.com
TerriMessenger says:
http://theminervafiles.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=4cf7685f364c6d62Moderately embarrassing, I am totally in thrall to a cat.Extremely embarrasing: one time I bought I silver bikini and thought I was seriously all that in it…til I dived in the pool and all the silver came off, leaving said bikini transparent. How we laughed. Eventually
Jess Mc says:
http://smilingatcrocodiles.tumblr.comI live with my 4yo, in Marrickville, Australia, and we won’t be moving again until said child can move our stuff himself. The future’s bright especially since we both love dinosaurs, painting and Bruce Springsteen. As for social humiliation – I once held up a pillowcase with the title of my favourite Belle and Sebastian song written with black texta at their Sydney concert, ‘Get Me Away from Here I’m Dying’. They played it as encore and that made the effort all worthwhile. The next day on a music chat room, some people thought the pillowcase request was awesome, while one commented on my body odour. Then, I was mortified. Now, I think of it as a small price to pay for an excellent memory.
dyslexicwhisper says:
http://wp.me/2qU4PI love to fish! I spent the better of one year (a while ago) driving down the remote levees looking for great spots, often stopping.Now, if you have ever fished in the middle of nowhere you are aware of how inventive you have to be when you have to go to the bathroom.So, I am in my overalls and white tank-top soaking up the sun in a very remote part of our glorious country, trying my luck at the ever elusive striper, when I had to go. I look up and down the bare levee with no luck for shelter, unless I walked back to the road where it was lined with sparse trees. Up I go.When I get to the top I realize the road across the river is quite busy, therefore, my only choice is now the cab of my truck. But that’s alright, right? It was a road that was almost never used, I should be safe.Off go the overalls, after I find a container. … I just sold my soul to promote my blog…. ha ha ha… ANYWAYS, off go the overalls, and as I am doing my business a very sleek bicyclist rides past looking straight in on me. Oh, wait, what was that? A number on his back?!??! NOT one bicyclist but a WHOLE marathon of these fools! URGH! In groups of twos and fours these men rode past, everyone getting an eye full of my personality.
pdk117 says:
A Daughters Love. I Don’t know where to begin.This is the hardest thing I have ever done. (my first blog) I was married at 20 to a wonderful women with two beautiful daughters. I adopted them both of course.Fast forward, they are now in their forties and my wife and I separated because I came forward I told her I was gay. Turns out I am bi-sexual. Rewind, my wife and I met in a gay bar that she worked in as a bartender. I went there to see her and to dance. I love to dance and felt very comfortable dancing there. Her and I became more then friends but the D.J. also liked me. Him and her had a bet to see who would go out with me first. He won. This was not my first male date. I will discuss that encounter in another blog if you are interested. It was not good at all. Back to the present now. After all the shit hit the fan with the family, everyone was fine with it. My youngest daughter was and is very supportive. However, my oldest daughter will not speak to me or let me see my grandchildren. It has been over three years know. I am at the point in my life where I am in mourning over three people. One being my daughter and the other two, my grand babies. A daughters love. What defines that? I will tell you. My youngest daughter. She is my rock. She and her husband have stood by me the whole time. She is a super mom raising my grandson with Autism. She is getting by on one salary and hardly making it. But everyday she gets up and has a smile on her face for her baby bugga (that’s what she calls him). He is now 10 and strong as an ox. A day does not go by that I don’t think of all the time we shared.The times we spent on the deck with the kids. It breaks my heart to think they are wonderingwhat in the world their Poppy did.I hope and pray they remember me as a loving caring man,I think of them everyday when I hear the cry of the doveSomeday I hope you rethink what your doing, who I am.I miss that special feeling of my oldest daughters love. Paul pdk117
Manny the Manny says:
http://www.mannythemanny.comOne of my testicles didn’t descend properly when I was born, so I had to have surgery when I was three to get it yanked down into its proper place. I call it “Lefty”Also, I am a male nanny (“manny”) with over 11 years in child care and human services. I write about parenting advice, adventures, kid humor and other knowledge bombs at http://www.mannythemanny.com
lusoanglian says:
Dealing with technology is like watching a Bruc e Willis movie when teh bomb is disarmed 1 second before going off…. my view! 🙂 I just adore your posts, so keep them coming, please.
lusoanglian says:
Dealing with technology is like watching a Bru e Willis movie when the bomb is disarmed 1 second before going off…. my view! 🙂 I just adore your posts, so keep them coming, please. and if at any time teh served backdates the contents, and you loose your previwes posts, oh well, that’s life…what’s meant to be – don’t stress about it. People can always put them back, or at least this is a lesson, which I have learn over the years, if we write a poem or a simple sentence always keep it backed up on a word document, for all eternity or until the coumputer/drive delivers its ghost and all is f’ed up really…. then keep several back-ups..with a few cheap usb pens! xoxo
lusoanglian says:
Dealing with technology is like watching a Bruce Willis movie when the bomb is disarmed 1 second before going off…. my view! 🙂 I just adore your posts, so keep them coming, please. And if at any time the served backdates the contents, and you loose your previous posts, oh well, that’s life…probably meant to be – don’t stress about it. People can always put them back, or at least this is a lesson for all of us, which I have learnt over the years, if we write a poem, an essay or just a simple sentence always keep it backed up in a word document, for all eternity or until the coumputer/drive delivers its ghost and all is f***ed up really…. then keep several back-ups..with a few cheap usb pens! xoxo
SarahFabCreations says:
http://fabriccreations.wordpress.com/My blog is about my life, kids, and craft business:)Here’s my embarrassing moment: Back in 4th grade, our teacher had seating arrangements in groups of 4 and you were all facing each other. Well, anyway, I was the only girl in my group of 4. I ended up passing gas that was sooooo smelly! I was mortified at myself, but it was one of those situations where you couldn’t hold back no matter how hard you tried! Others in the group began to notice. The ‘who done it’ questions started. Thankfully, I just sat quiet and let the blame get passed on to the guy sitting next to me! (Seth is a super nice guy btw………who still doesn’t know it was really me!)
Roeverdatteren says:
I sleep with the TV on, because if I don’t I’m sure the Japanese kid under my bed will eat me. But that is not the worst of it. The worst is that we have this children’s channel, where every night they show footage of the actors and hosts sleeping in various ways. Very cute idea, very soothing when you are trying to sleep yourself. Of course, after having watched this channel for hours and hours at night, I have developed a very unhealthy crush on the sleeping Mr. Beard – child hero no. 1…My blog is http://catling-scribbles.blogspot.com – I write about whatever comes to mind, usually with a touch of humour and often about the sex shop where I have a part time job (see what I did there? I threw porn on the table).
Tedjdxrabn says:
@Roeverdatteren http://t.co/0qYx7KCI
DadandBuried says:
I write at http://www.dadandburied.com, an anti-parenting parenting blog, in which I do my best to counteract all the BS, idealized versions of fatherhood be being honest, real and funny about how much it often sucks to be a father, even though it’s usually pretty awesome. But right now my two-year-old is gleefully pulling every single tissue from the box and throwing them all over the bedroom. Great. I swear a lot.One time in college I got super drunk taking six shot of Goldschlager within 20 minutes and then went to a hockey game, during which I sprinted around the concourse screaming before walking up and down the stands singing and dancing to the band’s rendition of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, in front of an arena full of college hockey fans. Needless to say I haven’t had Goldschlager in nearly 20 years.www.dadandburied.com
DadandBuried says:
There was also the time I held my friend’s baby and when it was time to put him down I stood him on his legs and let go and he timbered his way to the floor, face first. He was like ten months old. Needless to say, that was before I had a kid of my own. But I still have no idea what I’m doing.http://www.dadandburied.com
Deb Z says:
I can’t even begin to count all the embarrassing stuff that has happened to me. It just does. Plus, I’m a clutz (Fell UP the stairs my first day of high school. Walk into walls all the time.)I remember this one time my husband and I were at a friends house having drinks and playing pool in the basement. I was suddenly overtaken by the urge to hit the bathroom. I went upstairs and had, shall we say, a birth-size poop. I flushed and, you guessed it, it clogged the toilet. Not just clogged but overflowed. Not just overflowed a little. Water was everywhere (gak) and I was panicking. It gets worse. Water started to leak through the floor and onto the pool table downstairs. Of course I swore to our friends the toilet must have already been clogged/broken/effed up. They didn’t believe me.Read my blog. http://onmyownnerves.com. Thanks for letting me pimp.
SarcasticNinja says:
Classical artwork–Timeless human expressionAnd naked boobies.Sarcastic Art Review Fun Time: http://sarcasticninja.blogspot.co.uk/Once as a visitor in a seminar during my PhD I had to give a presentation, in which I decided to include myself singing on the topic with a Lady Gaga karaoke backing track. Plus side: everyone remembers that presentation! Minus side: I found out later the seminar, which I thought was casual and laid-back, was an elite, funded, very serious affair intended to produce a publication.
SarcasticNinja says:
Somehow my formatting failed there. The first bit was meant to be a haiku, with the blog title and URL separate, and then the story. And now it won’t let me delete it and try again. Sorry.http://sarcasticninja.blogspot.co.uk/
nosleepintoon says:
I write at http://www.keithaddison.co.uk/sleeplessinnewcastle , which is a
parenting/disability blog and I talk about all sorts of things with
daily life.
One day me and the missus had woken up late and decided to get a
bit frisky in bed. We were just getting into things when there was a
knock at the door so my wife rushed down in her dressing gown and I
grabbed a shirt and pants. My Dad was at the door and he had come for a
visit and a cup of coffee. So we had around half an hour of chatting
and drinking coffee thinking we had narrowly avoided the embarrassment
until he got up to leave and said
‘Well, I will get off now and let you get back to your shagging’.
Needless to say we went a bit red and never spoke about it again.
WarrenStrategies says:
Twas no accidentYou wanted another bumpWil Wheaton’s your pimphttp://www.warrenstrategies.com/blog
inthemomlight says:
WarrenStrategies who doesn’t??? I like bumping all the time.
PattiLarsen says:
What a fantastic idea! Embarrassing, huh? Well, how about the day I wore a very flowy short dress and had my hands full of a case of beer when the wind came up… the little old men sitting out front of the liquor store had a great show of my undies… I calmly placed the case in the back and drove off, though I admit my cheeks (both sets) were red!You can find me at http://www.pattilarsen.com Patti Larsen. Purely Paranormal. 🙂
NatteringNic says:
My first year English class had a quiz every Friday. The room was silent except for the dull noise of 75 Bic pens scratching across 75 pieces of loose-leaf paper. The silence by the loudest, longest and melodic (seriously, it reached a few octaves) fart ever. I never even felt it coming. NatteringNic is my little domain where I yammer on about everything from New Kids on the Block to life with Charcot-Marie-Tooth. (Hint: it has nothing to do with my teeth)Thanks for the blog pimping opportunity! http://www.natteringnic.com
Thank_Q says:
Thanks for this! http://www.Talk2Q.comThe Talk 2 Q Radio Show is a show for adults to get together and rant about whatever the trending topic may be. From men vs. women, black vs. white, old school vs. new school, etc. If you have something to get off your chest, then join our chat room and / or call in and let your opinions be known! Unlike most shows where you simply listen to the host, I allow you a chance to do the talking. You have the opportunity to express an opinion or rant on a subject. I want to hear what you have to say which is why I named the show “Talk 2 Q” and not “Listen 2 Q.” Visit the site for show info and join me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 10 PM EDT!
NatteringNic says:
My first year English class had a quiz every Friday. The room was silent saved for the din of 75 ballpoint pens scrawling across looseleaf paper. On one particular rainy Friday the quietness was marred by the loudest, longest and most melodic (seriously, it hit a few octaves) fart imaginable. I never even felt it coming…no time to even try and disguise it with a cough or leave the room.http://www.natteringnic.com is my little nook in the interwebs where I write about everything from my love for the New Kids on the Block to life with Charcot-Marie-Tooth. (Hint: it has nothing to do with teeth)Thanks for the blog pimping opportunity!!
GK Adams says:
I was locked out of my house by my dog. In the winter. After 18″ of snow. Oh, and I was wearing shorts. I had gone outside to sign for a package from UPS. He got a good chuckle and left me to my own defenses. http://www.gkadams.com/
MarieLoerzel says:
My kids tell me everything about me is embarrassing, even my signature on their permission slips for school. www.rockthekasbahafrica.blogspot.com
inthemomlight says:
I missed this the first go around… maybe because I didn’t have a blog then. Anyway, I whipped this poem out of my ass just now… no lube, so it’s a bit rough. Too long for a haiku too short for anything meaningful, nothing to do with blogging, and completely inappropriate. I tried to work the phrase “hot buttery monkey sex” into it, but I guess I just don’t have that much energy this morning.My name is Kelly, and I’m here to say,Kids will ruin your morning in every wayThey’ll wake you up which gets you downYour sanity is no-where to be foundUntil you find their Adderall,This is the cure-allSteal your kids medsIt’ll help you outta bedJust don’t tell anyoneCourt isn’t any funYou could end up in jailAnd you won’t have money for bailThe kids have cleaned your wallet dryBut, hey don’t cryThere are no kids in the penMaybe you’ll get to sleep in then…..So what if your uncomfortable with something in your butt,Just hope Billy Bad Asses wiener is the size of a peanuthttp://www.inthemomlight.com is my blog. It’s virgin as I am brand new to blogging. It’s 2 week birthday is today actually. In it I chronicle the usually funny & always interesting journey to find confidence in being a mom. It’s good stuff. I promise.
inthemomlight says:
I missed this the first go around… maybe because I didn’t have a blog then. Anyway, I whipped this poem out of my ass just now… no lube, so it’s a bit rough. Too long for a haiku too short for anything meaningful, nothing to do with blogging, and completely inappropriate. I tried to work the phrase “hot buttery monkey sex” into it, but I guess I just don’t have that much energy this morning.My name is Kelly, and I’m here to say. Kids will ruin your morning in every way.They’ll wake you up which gets you down. Your sanity is no-where to be found.Until you find their Adderall, this is the cure-all.Steal your kids meds. It’ll help you outta bed.Just don’t tell anyone. Court isn’t any fun.You could end up in jail. And you won’t have money for bail.The kids have cleaned your wallet dry, but, hey don’t cry.There are no kids in the pen. Maybe you’ll get to sleep in then…..So what if your uncomfortable with something in your butt. Just hope Billy Bad Asses wiener is the size of a peanut.www.inthemomlight.com is my blog. It’s virgin as I am brand new to blogging. Its 2 week birthday is today actually. In it, I chronicle the usually funny & always interesting journey to find confidence in being a mom. It’s good stuff. I promise.Oh, and something embarrassing? True story, and I’m nauseous as I admit this for the entire internet to see, but in high school, my grandmother walked in on me having sex. She was less shocked by this than by me climbing through the window after sneaking out, not knowing she was sleeping in my bed, I dove right on top of her. I’m just glad I didn’t give her a heart attack either time really.
inthemomlight says:
My fabulous poem’s formatting got all screwed up when I hit post, but that’s ok. I still plan on a Pulitzer.
mindfulmeerkats says:
I blog about special needs parenting at http://mindfulmeerkats.blogspot.com. Sometimes I talk about catheters, and sometimes I (poorly) illustrate physical therapy disasters.I’m fairly hard to embarrass, but once I mortified my sister by asking a young man in a gay bar if he was straight. (He was.)
Fort Worth Mama says:
My name is Shelley and I have a blog called Fort Worth Mama. http://www.fortworthmama.com/ It’s about things to do in Fort Worth – stuff mamas need to know about. I also post recipes and stories about stuff we find in our yard and I try to be as funny as my little brain allows. For the embarrassing part: While at the grocery store, an older woman walked by and my daughter shouted out from the cart: Look at dat ol’ lady, mama. Another time while at the grocery store (I’m always at the dang store) we walked past a man with a white beard and my daughter yelled from the cart: Ho, ho, ho, Merwy Cwismas. I just kind of held my head down low and sprinted out the aisle. Last but not least, while at Target, we were looking in the dollar section (usually one of the busiest places in Target) and my daughter was looking at something and says, very loudly I might add: What the hell is that? I could not contain my laughter and neither could this older man that was in the next aisle…which made me laugh even harder. The old man then proceeded to tell me about the time his grandson dropped the F-bomb in public. Counting the days till that happens to me cuz its’ bound to happen sooner or later.
about100percent says:
While I’m certainly not happy for you that your backup plan failed, I am happy for me that I get the chance to do this since I missed it six weeks ago. And we all know that that’s what matters.I write about my life and stupid things I do and say and my measly opinions about everything, at http://www.about100percent.com I am often grouchy and I am a terrible dresser. I’m always embarrassing myself. Do you want to hear about the time I heard my gyno say “oral pap” instead of “abnormal pap” and the ruckus that caused, or the time that I accidentally failed to wear a shirt to a barbecue?
ErinSmithDoolittle says:
about100percent I’m going to be honest, I am all for ruckus. It happening at the gyno just makes it even better! As long as your doc has a good sense of humor, maybe you could offer comedic relief to cover your co-pay? That could be a win-win!
about100percent says:
ErinSmithDoolittle Thank you! I have learned to enjoy ruckus as well, since I have found to have a talent for creating it. You can read about my gyno mishap here: http://www.about100percent.com/2011/11/it-happened-to-me.htmlDo you think this too much promotion? Am I going to get in trouble for promoting my blog twice here? Because that would be embarrassing.
Modernbonvivant says:
Ok, second most embarassing thing is that I thought I’d already posted but I’m clearly so daft that I can’t even post properly before my first cup of coffee. Now on to the most embarassing thing.A number of years ago I went on a ‘hot date’ to one of the hippest restaurants in Manhattan. After a few cocktails I found myself tipsy and in need of the Ladies room. Once I’d finished I went to give the toilet a proper New York flush when due to either 1. the slippery yucky floor making my shoe slick or 2. my aforementioned tipsyness, my foot slipped off the handle and straight into the violently flushing toilet. And got stuck. Not ‘call the fire department’ stuck but more like just enough to soak my leg to mid calf. Think that’s the most embarrassing part? Well you’re wrong. Try walking back to the table after giving your shoe a swirly. Step Slosh. Step Slosh. Step Slosh. Needless to say, I didn’t stay for dessert and sloshed home sans guy and in need of a new pair of heels. I’m almost over it…My name is Christina and I have a little blog where I share my accumulated knowledge on living well and having an all around good time. I’m a little bit Martha mixed with a good dose of Lucille Ball. It works for me. http://www.modernbonvivant.com
KarenandWendy1 says:
What we want to know is whether he ever called you again. Also, you’re not related to us in any way, are you?
Modernbonvivant says:
KarenandWendy1 Due to profoundly intense humiliation I have lost all further recollection of that gentleman. However, knowing myself as I do, should he have called again I would not have answered. Can you imagine accidently falling in love, marrying and having that story told time and again at every holiday? Not sure if we’re related but I’d guess probably not. Largely because most of my family doesn’t like to pubically acknowledge our connection. They’d never ask such a question but would likely begin their sentence with “I’ve never met this person” Oh, and you guys are much funnier than my relatives.
ErinSmithDoolittle says:
Aw! Sorry about the backup fail! I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist – I write about being a therapist, my life in general, current events. Oh, and my tiny herd of 3 dogs and 5 cats. Don’t judge me, these things happen. Not to brag, but I did write you a truly lovely haiku. If anyone is interested in how your therapist really thinks or what we do when we’re not sitting in the chair across from you, this is the right blog for you. You will quickly realize that being crazy is largely okay mostly because I say so. I can be found at http://www.angryshrink.blogspot.com or Like me on Facebook at Angry Shrink! Oh – I don’t know if this counts as embarrassing but…I have purchased many seasons of Survivor from a boot legger I found on Amazon. This makes me feel like I am doing something dangerous which translates (in my head) to I could totally be on Survivor. Also, my love of Survivor is somewhat embarrassing in and of itself. (Don’t judge! Okay, you can judge a little…)
WarrenStrategies says:
ErinSmithDoolittle As a Survivor fan, you might think this is cool. My friend managed a swanky fitness club in Metro Detroit. He told me that one of the members was holding this benefit and had paid to have a bunch of Survivors from the first 4 seasons come to town as special guests to try to draw a lot of people in and raise a bunch of money. As a big Survivor fan, I asked if he could get me in to the benefit so I could meet some of them…but you know how rich folks are…he said it was very doubtful.So, day of the event, I’m bumming because he’s at this event and hanging out with all of these people I had been watching on the old telly…when I get a call. It was very cryptic…it just consisted of my aforementioned friend saying “come to the club right now.” So, I rush to pick up my girlfriend and make the short drive to the club…park my car…walk up the steps and through the door…and was completely overwhelmed by the lack of people.Apparently the benefit was not a hit…5 members had shown up for the event. Meanwhile, there are 8 former Survivor cast members standing around and drinking free beer and hanging out with each other. My girlfriend and I spent the next 2 hours just shooting the breeze with old Rodger, Michael Skupin, Keith Famie, Clarence Black, Alicia Calaway, etc. The club’s blunder ending up being to our advantage and we spent the evening living it up in Reality TV Land.
ErinSmithDoolittle says:
WarrenStrategies That sounds so fun! Ugh! Why don’t I have any swanky friends? Also – seriously? Who is pretentious enough to refuse anyone entry to anything related to reality television stars? That’s crazy! Don’t they know it’s we common folk who watch and love them the most? Silly club! But yay for you guys! Score! 🙂
KarenandWendy1 says:
Thanks for this lovely invite! I’m sorry for the tech fail, but glad to have a chance to share a bit here. About 3 weeks ago, we started our blog for parents facing the empty nest; it’s been an amazing experience so far, and we are just getting our feet under us. We’ve had great responses to our posts, and seem to have really hit a nerve. And of course, one of the best parts is the feeling that we’re joining the much larger blogging community, and reading some truly amazing stuff. Okay. Embarrassing moment time. Hard to choose just one from our pantheon of shame, but here goes:The scene: the cream/sugar counter at a coffee kiosk in a busy suburban mall. Karen is standing next to a gentleman who is busy doctoring his drink; Karen is pouring out a bit of cream. Suddenly, with no warning, she sneezes. As she rushes to cover her nose, she sloshes some milky coffee out of her cup. Wendy, standing behind her, peers past her at the mess and exclaims LOUDLY, “Oh my God, Karen, did that just come out of your NOSE?” Karen starts giggling and can’t stop. The man beside her takes one look, turns around, and runs for his life. Bystanders stare. Karen is now laughing so hard she is beginning to drool. Wendy grabs her by the sleeve and leads her away. Sadly, this kind of episode is fairly typical for us. I will simply say that you probably don’t want to be seen with us in public, unless you’re okay with occasional humiliation and hilarity.
KarenandWendy1 says:
Um, and our blog can be found at http://afterthekidsleave.com.
kimolisa13 says:
Wow, sounds like you had a frustrating experience. My blogs are kimolisa.blogspot.com and asilomik.blogspot.com
kimolisa13 says:
Hee hee no hyperlinks – http://kimolisa.blogspot.com and http://asilomik.blogspot.com
kimolisa13 says:
Hi, sorry to hear about your technical difficulties, but it looks like it’s to my fortune. My blogs arehttp://kimolisa.blogspot.com – this is my poetry blog cover over 15 years of poems.http://asilomik.blogspot.com – Here you will read my random thoughts, interiors I like, some Ted Talks and drool worthy food I want to try.
Sydney Aaliyah says:
I am embarrassed that I felt a bit inadequate when you did this before. So, I didn’t promote my blog at that time. I am still quite inadequate, but I don’t seem to care as much anymore. Funny how things can change in 6 weeks. I write about writing, movies quotes, tattoos and my life in China when the mood arises. Please come by and say hello. http://Sydneyaaliyah.wordpress.com
bravebosom says:
I am a mutant blogging to change my future. I want to help others change their futures by mustering inner levity & courage. Also, I have areolas but no nipples. But I’m really proud of this, and not that embarrassed. The full story about my nipples can be found here: http://www.bravebosom.com/2012/08/08/side-pancake-a-tale-of-two-nipples-and-getting-what-your-heart-desires/
ViolaFury says:
bravebosom I’m all about levity and courage.
TammyL says:
I am now incredibly paranoid and embarrassed because my backup plan is … um, not to crash! My blog is http://www.grownupnowwhat.com where I discuss what it’s like to be middle aged and still wondering what the heck I want to be when I grow up! There are so many choices … and yet so few options available.
ViolaFury says:
TammyL Tammy, forget growing up. It doesn’t happen. At 56, I am entirely convinced that “Grown up” is some myth that is like Never Never Land. It isn’t there. Nor do I wish to ever achieve it, or be it, or become one with it, or experience it. It sounds perfectly boring. I’ll do my grown up stuff, like pay bills and all that happy crappy. The rest of the time, I’m way too busy, cyber-vandalizing people’s blogs (poor D.J.) bothering people on Twitter and FB, and playing Runescape. The fact that I have some very grown up and adult diseases and am legally blind probably allows me to do this. You can still do it part time. I know, I did it for 35 years, until forced to retire.
AngusMcMahan1 says:
Hello! My name is Angus and my humor blog is Angus-Land. I read DJs posts every morning, mostly because I can’t figure out how to turn off the RSS feed. So I guess that’s my embarrassing thing. http://www.angus-land.blogspot.com/
ViolaFury says:
AngusMcMahan1 Well, Angus, d’ya reside in Scotland, then laddie?
AngusMcMahan1 says:
ViolaFury Nay, shist and bejiggered! I’m actually 3/4 Irish and only 1/8th Scots. I just happened to have the quinessential Scottish name. And I can now order a “me burger” in most restaurants.
ViolaFury says:
AngusMcMahan1 Aye, tha’ sounds vaguely meme-ish, doncha ken?
AngusMcMahan1 says:
ViolaFury A whole Tumblr of “Me and my Me Burgers” yeah – that’ll go viral in a heartbeat. 🙂
AngusMcMahan1 says:
ViolaFury A whole Tumblr of “Me and my Me Burgers” yeah – that’ll go viral in a heartbeat. 🙂
Stephanie Force says:
Ello! My name is Steph and I live at http://itsanorganizedmess.blogspot.com . I say live because I share a lot of what happens to me and I also write poetry, take pictures… it’s the whole 9 yards. So something embarrassing about me… hrmm….Welp I don’t have many stories that are worth sharing, there’s the typical “was tubing and when I fell off of it and into the water I lost my bottoms” and the “I got mistaken as my little brother’s mom” but the most recent story would be this: I was roasting a Marshmallow for a S’more and as I got up from the fire and started walking to the chocolate and graham cracker heaven. Because it was dark I didn’t notice nor remember the log that was blocking my path, along with the girl sitting atop it. I stumbled, landed on my face, jumped up and yelled “I SAVED THE SHMELLOW!” Because well, I did! I didn’t get to taste the goodness I had sacrificed myself for because it was for my sister… but hey, despite it in front of 20 other people, it was a good time.(: So yeah… come visit me!
ViolaFury says:
Stephanie Force Wow; so it was an accidental eating of the S’more?
Stephanie Force says:
ViolaFury Oh no… it was intentional. The shmellow never hit the ground(: I kept the roasting stick up as I fell and didn’t use that hand to catch myself. A cut or bruise heals, but you can’t get back a perfect golden brown shmellow.
ViolaFury says:
Stephanie Force Damned straight; glad to see you have your priorities in order and think fast on your feet, or back as it were.
GingerBlogMan says:
Hello there, I’m the Ginger Blog Man and my blog is a bunch of randomocity about my relocation from Ireland to Zurich Switzerland, things I find funae, if gingers can be attractive and stupid things I have done. Obligatory link now: http://www.thegingerblogman.blogspot.ch/In terms of embarrassing things I’ve done, my blog is full of them. I guess one of the more mortifying moments of my life is the day I realised I had been spelling morning incorrectly. Context for this follow this link to find out http://www.thegingerblogman.blogspot.ch/2012/04/spell-chequer-and-eye.html
ViolaFury says:
GingerBlogMan Well, maybe you were just in mourning for morning.
rudy says:
I’m a single dad in training, and i just learned today,
coiurtesy of my 9yr old that smelly feet are genetically
determined….damn!! http://www.daddyknowsless.org
ViolaFury says:
@rudy oh dear; is your son bald, because that’s genetically determined too.
ShiftlessMommie says:
My blog is a fake advice column. Also, I eat and read things then complain about them. Something embarrassing about myself is that I once sneezed vegetable soup all over the table in elementary school. Not like I spit it out during the sneeze. It went through my nasal passages and onto my dining companions. Those carrot chunks burned.http://www.shiftlessmommie.com/
ViolaFury says:
ShiftlessMommie Ow; that sounds like it hurt. A fake advice column. Well, why not. Ann Slanders and Dear Blabby got away with that shit for years.
ShiftlessMommie says:
ViolaFury Exactly. At least I’m honest about it.
ThingsToBitchAbout says:
I tend to do most of my complaining in my head, but according to some researchers it’s healthier to write them down, so now I rant about random stuff at http://thingstobitchabout.wordpress.com/ Something embarrassing about myself…I sweat way more than the average person. And sometimes, I drool in my sleep. I just don’t think my body likes holding liquids.
ViolaFury says:
@ThingsToBitchAbout I do both, but I have Parkinson’s Disease, so all sorts of disconcerting goings-on ensue. Feel free to rant away. It’s healthy and sometimes, people actually listen. As if.
1chicklette says:
I would love to have you visit onechicklette.com. It’s a mix of personal stories, only-in-New York photos and current events. An embarrassing thing: I tweezed my eyebrows down to nothing & apparently thought it looked good. Photographic evidence that it did not: http://wp.me/p1LGFP-F2
ViolaFury says:
1chicklette Lol; those are some epic eyebrows. I remember thinking I looked good in green eye shadow, white lipstick and black, black mascara. The green eyeshadow was above and way below my eyes like headlights. I looked like a ghoul. I have red hair and blue eyes. This was in 1968. The outfit was equally hideous.
ViolaFury says:
Well, I have lots of embarrassing stuff I can relate. Let’s see… hmm, the other thing is, I don’t get embarrassed anymore, okay, here goes. This was pretty embarrassing, both as a personal and professional failure. Since I’m too damned lazy to re-type this, let me set it up: I had been touring for several weeks with Styx; my two cohorts and I were hired to “play” (I use this word loosely here, I’m still not sure what we did) for a luncheon in between gig dates. This is what happened:”Now, it is axiomatic that the fewer instruments you have, the more difficult the music is going to be, especially if you are going to play, oh say, Beethoven. If we were going to play, Pee Wee Herman, we might have stood a chance, or maybe, Barney, but Beethoven? It was… interesting. I have played all of his String Quartets. They rock. His Trio in C Minor rocks. It also requires lots and lots and lots of practice. Playing Styx’s “Mr. Roboto” for 18 weeks straight does not constitute practicing Beethoven’s trio. We all learned a valuable lesson that day. Thank god the Luncheon guests were drunk.”Now, for the poem, another thrilling cut and paste job, because I am worthless creative-wise:U.F.O. sponges can’t be beat!They’ll help clean your satellite seat!When you scour the rust and bust the dust,Your U.F.O Sponge becomes the U.F.O. bus!I wrote that for my one and only parody. Be glad I don’t try to write satire but once every century. Neither of us will be here in 2112, so we’ll miss that. Cheers, D.J. I think you’re the most splendiferoust.Mary
ViolaFury says:
Oops, come visit me at http://homelesschroniclesintampa.blogspot.com/
dadblunders says:
ViolaFury But at least playing “Mr. Roboto” for 18 weeks allowed you the opportunity to met those wonderful luncheon guests! Did they at least clap loudly and give a sitting ovation? I figured since they had been drinking and most were drunk they couldn’t afford a standing ovation they might not be able to get back up once they fell down from all the excitement! :)Aaron
mooivrouw says:
All that shit floating about in my head? I write it out on the blog. Also, the embarrassing shit I do when drinking (like climb on stages, yell at Cubs player’s wives, and get kicked out of bars) gets written about too. Because you either go big or go home. That’s how I roll. http://www.thedawnieproject.com/
ViolaFury says:
mooivrouw When Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown was performing here in Tampa, I climbed up on a table, while he was playing blues viola and hollered out “VIOLAS RULE” he hollered back “DON’T HURT YOURSELF”
ViolaFury says:
Need I mention I was drunk?
ViolaFury says:
mooivrouw When Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown was performing here in Tampa, I climbed up on a table, while he was playing blues viola and hollered out “VIOLAS RULE” he hollered back “DON’T HURT YOURSELF” Need I mention I was drunk?
mooivrouw says:
ViolaFury THAT IS AWESOME. In college I climbed on stage for Jars of Clay. Mostly because I was pissed about being at their show (I went drunk without knowing who they were) and partly to prove I could. I got tackled by security full on football style. It was one of my finer moments.
ViolaFury says:
mooivrouw My God! That’s hysterical. That would be like passing out while playing at a Michael W. Smith concert. I was only drunk when I played for him (true story.)
cbramkamp says:
Found you on Twitter – my blog is Average+ losing ground (www.YourBookStartsHere.com) , how to survive the current economic climate through art.I have a collection of embarrassing moments, I think having my podcast partner calling me out on twitter to get on Skype so we can have a show was one time, also I had to broadcast a show standing in my driveway hooked into my iPad because the Internet was down. Sorry, that’s all I got.
ViolaFury says:
cbramkamp Lol. I saw that random bit about “standing in my driveway hooked into my iPad” and thought I’d stumbled into some kind of weird Shopping Channel thingy. Neat!
cbramkamp says:
ViolaFury Thanks and of course that was the one day all the neighbors were noisy, my co host had to edit out the honking, the ice cream truck, the screaming children, just lovely! And we had a guest!
Melissa S says:
Thanks, TFP! I’m a fairly new blogger at theunfreezingprocess.blogspot.com (@nomonologue) and mostly write random rambles about life, work, family, etc. I am a klutz, so I am embarrassed quite often. 🙂
ViolaFury says:
@Melissa S Welcome to Klutz Nation. I regularly fall down and make an ass out of myself. I tell people that I am no more than 15 minutes in front of or behind my latest stupidity.
Banana Stickers says:
There was a time I was 100lbs heavier than I am right now, but when I refer to that as an embarrassing moment in my life, I get scolded. Aside from that, I’m terrified of caterpillars and I once got married on the hood of a car. That last one is embarrassing because of my tendencies to make horrible decisions…. it wasn’t even a cool car.http://cerebralmilkshake.wordpress.com/
ViolaFury says:
Banana Stickers Did you get married to a caterpillar?
BeerDogLife says:
My life is one big embarrassment. Read all about it and stay for cookies and vodka. BeerDogLife.com is the latest musings and prognostications of a Left coast human. I’m content with no followers, but my wife says I need more friends.I’m embarrassed to say that I once thought the ewoks were cool. I’m forever ashamed.
BeerDogLife says:
My life is one big embarrassment.Read all about it and stay for cookies and vodka. http://beerdoglife.com/ is the latest musings and prognostications of a Left coast human. I’m content with no followers, but my wife says I need more friends.I’m embarrassed to say that I once thought the ewoks were cool. I’m forever ashamed.BeerDogLife
ViolaFury says:
BeerDogLife Yeah, I had the same sentiment about Troll Dolls. The intervention cured me.
The Mocking Magpie says:
ViolaFury Troll dolls on the other hand…. you should be ashamed..
The Mocking Magpie says:
ViolaFury Troll dolls on the other hand…. you should be ashamed..
The Mocking Magpie says:
BeerDogLife Booooooooooooo Ewoks are awesome!
bluenotebacker says:
My most recent post just happens to be about one of my most very UN-proud moments! A night (from my past) of terrible, drunken choices leading up to me falling and breaking my face and risking my life, all in the name of celebrating July 4th. Classic idiot. Read more of my ramblings, and witty insights at http://bluenotebacker.wordpress.com
ViolaFury says:
bluenotebacker Well, bluenote, I have had my share of drunkenness. It’s only by luck and pure genetics that I’m still walking and talking. You’ll be fine. Just leave the Jack alone earlier.
hellomap says:
Wow-lotsa pimping going on-so here is mine Big Daddy : http://Forever-51.com –humor in a hormonal household-she has puberty-I don’t but I have money.Most embarrasing thing: I flashed REM in 1983 at an outdoor venue in NC B4 they got big–they didnt notice…..
ViolaFury says:
hellomap God, I hate when that happens.
The Mocking Magpie says:
hellomap I was born in 1983, does that count? 🙂
rsmithing says:
Thanks for this opportunity, D.J.! And thanks to everyone for sharing so far – lots of fun stories here and new blogs to visit. I invite you to mine: http://rsmithing.com where I ramble biweekly on photography, social media, pr, tech, music and writing. Comments & links are welcome – I’d love to know if you stopped by. Most embarrassing moment… it was more like a couple of years: back in high school I rocked a sweet mullet and super-thin teenager mustache. Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ViolaFury says:
rsmithing Wow, for a minute there I thought I was at an awards show, or something. Dude, you should have made something up. That’s some embarrassing shit right there.
rsmithing says:
Haha, yep. I’d like to think I was being an ironic visionary… but no.
rsmithing says:
Haha, yep. I’d like to think I was being an ironic visionary… but no.
Jeni says:
Embarrassing thing: I came back for the dick jokes. SERIOUSLY.I actually get paid to write a blog, but if you don’t run a restaurant in Canada, it’s pretty damn boring. So screw that one! My personal blog is http://joyandwoe.wordpress.com/, replete with photos of darling children that I’ve either spawned or kidnapped (jury’s out … not literally … they said I was responsible for the brats either way). I complain about a lot of things. It’s all horribly jolly and Canadian.Other embarrassing thing: I proposed to a guy once. He said yes (that’s not the embarrassing part). I can’t for the life of me remember why we called off the wedding, though, and I have a feeling that’s one of those things I probably shouldn’t have forgotten, right?
ViolaFury says:
@Jeni Yeah! If you’re going to call off the wedding, it should be for eminently forgettable reasons, shouldn’t it? That’s bonzer! Oops; that’s Aussie, or something, isn’t it?
Aunt Motherfucking Becky says:
Dude. How am I not on your damn blogroll? We are BFF, after all. http://mommywantsvodka.com
Kelly Fox says:
God’s Green Underpants! I have to give you embarassing shit now too! My life has been a series of embarassments to myself and others, I give new meaning to the word awkward. The saying “I don’t have to flirt, I will seduce you with my awkwardness”….ME. How about the time in 9th grade when I had my period and I leaked all over the bleacher, got up to cheer for the team, and had left a lovely stain all over it for the world, and my boyfriend to see, who snickered like a fool, (Who wouldn’t?) and I had to walk in front of everyone to go take care of the issue. THATS embarassing to a 15 yr old. I wouldn’t give an ant’s fart now.Or the many many countless trips, falls, and just numerous social blunders that make me, me. I was not socially adept, so I had to learn. The hard way, through trial and error. Many moons later I am the gorgeous creature you see now *cough* who can glide through any room with grace and aplomb! BWAHHhaha!Now pick me!! http://painfulspaghetti.blogspot.com
ViolaFury says:
Kelly Fox Wow! So much commenting here to comment on. Starting with “God’s Green Underpants!” Never heard it; I’m stealing it. “I don’t flirt, yada, yada…” I read socially adept as “socially inept” at first. I’m legally blind. Of course, I could just have been in a hurry. Great stuff.
Mama Jabber says:
Embarrassing as in having my underwear fall down on stage during a 4th grade play rehearsal, or walking in midtown and getting randomly kicked by a police horse and having everyone think I provoked it? Well, you decide. There are 2 fun times in this girl’s life.Thanks for inviting us to share! If anyone wants parenting tips and tricks, please don’t read my blog. But if you want to feel better about how you’re bringing up your kids, come on down!http://lizawyles.wordpress.com
ViolaFury says:
Mama Jabber I think I’ll go for the horse kick. I did walk on my long dress once, when I was trying to walk and play viola from some stupid Jesus Christmas show I got hired to play. Please, no jokes about walking and playing viola. Sitting and playing viola is hard enough. Can anyone tell that I have no life at all?
VakisB says:
Shameless promotion: Please visit my blog on http://www.fishbowledthebook.com where I post daily. Full disclosure, there is some promotion of my new book fishbowled, but it’s not in your face and is funny. This blog is also where I post all my freelance work, mostly opinion and humour articles for Canadian publications. You will also find lists, photoshopped wizardry and deep, life-changing insights.Embarrassing story: I once pooped myself during a soccer game. I wasn’t that younghttp://www.fishbowledthebook.com/blog.html
ViolaFury says:
VakisB Oh boy! My second poop story of the day! In the same blog. We’re so lucky here!
screentimeapp says:
I’m the only liberal in Utah. I blog from rodliberal.com about kids, media, tv, and the Mythbusters.Something embarrassing… on one of my first job interviews after getting out of school, I went in with an elevated level of confidence thinking I really knew my stuff. I was interviewed by 6 developers who drilled me on everything. I bombed about every question and left there feeling completely inadequate.
screentimeapp says:
I’m the only liberal in Utah. I blog from http://rodliberal.com about kids, media, tv, and the Mythbusters.Something embarrassing… on one of my first job interviews after getting out of school, I went in with an elevated level of confidence thinking I really knew my stuff. I was interviewed by 6 developers who drilled me on everything. I bombed about every question and left there feeling completely inadequate.
ViolaFury says:
screentimeapp Yeah, but where are they now? They don’t have a blog and everything. They’re probably a bunch of addle-pated republicans, too.
screentimeapp says:
ViolaFury SIX blogs!!!! 🙂
thebloggerincognito says:
http://thebloggerincognito.blogspot.com/An anonymous blog detailing various life experiences and the author’s feelings (juicy and otherwise). I once shit myself in my sleep when sick. Like really, REALLY bad. My roommates made fun of me for a long time.
ViolaFury says:
thebloggerincognito Boy, gotta love roommates. I hope you threw them all out into the snow.
SomethingAuthor says:
My blog is at http://www.somethingauthorly.com.Embarrassing moment: I once drunkenly peed on a friend’s Rick James poster. I’m sorry Superfreak.
Katie Grant author says:
I joined (may have initiated) a KEG STAND contest at younger my brother’s wedding rehearsal dinner… I had a SKIRT on… I was a mother already…. my KIDS were there…. BUT I WON (I am not totally classless, someone held my skirt & my kids had fallen asleep)Little Bit of Faith, Little Bit of Funny http://www.bykatiegrant.blogspot.com
Katie Grant author says:
I joined (may have initiated) a KEG STAND contest at younger my brother’s wedding rehearsal dinner… I had a SKIRT on… I was a mother already…. my KIDS were there…. BUT I WON (I am not totally classless, someone held my skirt & my kids had fallen asleep)Little Bit of Faith, Little Bit of Funny http://www.bykatiegrant.blogspot.com
TheLibAubuchon says:
I think I did it wrong the first time. Can I repost? (Just delete this if not…)Embarrassing: elastic in underwear became so loose that I walked right out of them. Blog: http://realatlhousewife.comThank you and goodnight.
mamaliciousindc says:
My blog is http://www.mamaliciousinthecity.com and it’s a little bit of everything. Yes, I’m a schizophrenic.Embarassing moment – well, I have so many. Here is one from a story of mine that just bombed, but I’ll just give you the good, bomb-free part: a friend of mine was supposed to do this charcoal drawing of me in the nude. You know, one of those ones where it’s all artsy and fartsy and ANONYMOUS. So she snapped some photos of me to use for inspiration. And then for some reason we agreed that she could auction off the drawing at a fundraiser she was throwing with a mutual friend. I was out of town but I sent my then husband. He showed up and was quite surprised to find naked PHOTOS of me on the wall. Evidently she had decided that she liked the photos so much she was going to frame them instead. My then husband bought them and they currently reside in the drawer of my bedside table. What the hell else am I supposed to do with them?
ModMomBeyondIndieDom says:
Back in high school, I went to McDonalds with a bunch of friends. The place was packed and I got my food after they did. I sat down and proceeded to complain about the quality of the food – how my burger didn’t at all look like the picture – when I looked up to realize I was sitting at a table of complete strangers. Come read my blog at: http://www.modmombeyondindiedom.blogspot.com.
FailPinterest says:
Love your blog! This was such a creative idea to reward readers/followers, too. Kudos!My blog is http://www.EpicPinterestFail.com. It’s a website where people can post stories and photos of craft projects or recipes they’ve attempted from Pinterest but that failed miserably. We also just generally hate on Pinterest. My embarrassing story: I went to hot yoga class, and during a break between poses, I wiped off my face with my shammy-like towel and smiled at a few of my neighbors who were looking my direction. At the end of the class, I realized they were looking at me because a pair of lace thong underwear were stuck to my face towel – those things have the WORST static cling! Oh well, now everyone knows I have pretty underwear.
GDRPempress says:
And with that, handsome sir, you have just been added to my blogroll.I’ve got some good ones, we need to do a link up or something.xo
Dalrie says:
My blog is http://trulywrittenramblings.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/unexpected-visitor/ I’m a huge fan of your blog and have been for a while. I enjoy an amusing story but i also like how open and honest you are.
One of my most embarrassing stories. After the birth of my daughter I suffered a bad case of hemorrhoids. Gross already, right? Well I was drinking metamucil and of course it looks like orange juice so I told my two and half year old son at the time that he couldn’t have any because it was medicine for mommy’s butt. “I have a broken butt, my butt hurts, mommy needs butt medicine, that’s my raisin bran because it helps mommy’s broken bum” (these are all the everyday phrases I used to help him understand). Then one day at the bank I was waiting for a new card (I’d lost mine) My son kept asking me if we could go home yet. Not yet I kept saying. The teller looked down at my son and asked what we were going to do for the rest of the day. He said, “My mommy’s but broke with roids. She eats bum cereal…”She went redder than I did.
Marisa Reichardt says:
Loved when you did this six weeks ago so I’m happy to participate again. Discovered many cool blogs from that post. And since my poem definitely fell into the “sucks” category, I’m happier to share one of my more embarrassing moments that I’ve already posted about on my blog, Young Adultish at http://www.youngadultish.comhttp://www.youngadultish.com/2012/06/truth-about-my-right-butt-cheek.html
danniehill says:
Great idea, D.J. Did you know the main character in oy novel In Search of a Soul had the same initials– really.I have a blog about a writer’s life living in Thailand.Embarrassing act- I once had sex- with a woman- in a bunker during an attack. Came through with both weapons.https://danniehill.wordpress.com/
amberrisme says:
Here I am. Nothing spectacular, just a bump on a blog. http://www.amberrisme.com
ViolaFury says:
amberrisme Ahh, yes. But you’re a spectacular bump on a log!
ginapalooza says:
My awesome blog is miabellavida.com and I pee in pools.
ginapalooza says:
My awesome blog is http://miabellavida.com and I pee in pools.
RachRiot says:
Oh hello.. my blog is RachRiot http://www.rachriot.com and I wasn’t embarrassed at the time but when I was younger my best friend and I were watching Love Boat in her mom’s bedroom when my friend suddenly discovered a hard, banana shaped item in her mother’s bedside drawer. Huh?? We were delighted to discover it was a massager so we proceeded to massage each other’s necks. Until her mother walked in and was so startled she yelled at us and kicked us out. We were very confused. And our necks smelled funny.I made that last part up.
chicagomeesh says:
On my 21st birthday I threw up inside my pants while I was using the bathroom and our blog is http://warriorelihoax.wordpress.com/2012/08/12/cara-goodman/
Clearly Kristal says:
One of my top humiliating moments is when my mom bought me my first bra in seventh grade. I showed it off to my gym classmates…why? Because my bra opened up. Yep, my poor hippie mom purchased a nursing bra for her 13-year-old – from a garage sale no less. My nickname was “mama” for the remainder of the school year. For more stories like these and moments that matter, visit my blog http://www.clearlykristal com.
CalisaSelfridge says:
I’ll bite. My dad raised my brother, sister and I after the divorce. Nothing wrong with that and I accredit him for my being who I am today. But I could have lived without all those years of him hollering around stores on the weekly family grocery shopping trips, “You girls got your “cotton donkeys?” If you don’t know, I’m not explaining! but I’d love to see you on my Ranch at http://calisarhose.wordpress.com/chit-chat
gabi klaf says:
hey, gabi here at http//www.gabiklaf.com. our family of five is on a slow, meandering stroll around the globe for the next five years. as we travel, i’m seeking my own higher spiritual self, cleaning my soul, and doing other good stuff like learning to play guitar, spend real time with my kids without rushing off to do the next thing, and exercising tons. tons of embarrassing things like how i still can’t spell ’embarrassing’ without spell checker, how often i fantasized about those hot 20-year old Latinos while spending a year in latin america, how our ‘we’re-so-bonded-and-close-cuz-we-travel-the-world’ family still can fight like madmen over the stupidest shit like who gets to sit next to mom or whose turn it is to wash that spoon, and how i teach ‘clean your soul’ spirituality classes here in siem reap, cambodia and sometimes, i am the farthest thing from spiritual that one can be…. ah, just too many. visit the blog and you’ll see how hard-core real (but optimistic) i am. 🙂 gabi
The Mocking Magpie says:
Happy to give this a go. I’m Mag, the owner/author of The Mocking Magpie at http://themockingmagpie.com. Feel free to come by and poke around anytime!As for embarrassing moments: A friend of mine just moved back into town and we are letting him store some of his belongings in our storage unit until he finds a house. While he was in the process of moving I realized that I had pulled a bonehead move and forgotten to tell him that I had a large box of good “china” dishes in the unit. So I called him to let him know, where they were and asked him to please be careful not to break them, then got off the phone. What I didn’t realize was that my 6 year-old daughter was eavesdropping on the conversation. So from the back seat I hear “Mom, what’s a ‘china? Cause the only “‘chinas’ I know about is the one where Ni Hao Kailan lives and the one that’s between our legs.” …………. I had to pull over and park I was laughing so hard. Then I had to explain the difference between “china” dishes, “China” the country, and “Vaginas” to my daughter.. needless to say it was awkward.
CalisaSelfridge says:
The Mocking Magpie Laughed so freakin hard! Gotta love the little ones.
The Mocking Magpie says:
CalisaSelfridge Yeah, mine are spectacular, especially when it comes to things they shouldn’t say, but do anyway.
BlackCaesarX says:
Here’s my blog on music: http://ikohausmusicgroup.blogspot.com/ I’ve my been a musician and enjoying music since 1963, know a lot of cool cats like my childhood friend Richie Morales that went on to be the drummer for Spryro Gyra. But on this 16th of August I can’t forget my Woodstock experience. Everyone was bathing skinny dipping in the lake on the property, but I was so African American un-Hippy like that I stood at the lakes edge for about 20 minutes debating with my self to take off my clothes and get clean, and just couldn’t get up the nerve to get naked. So I stayed dirty for 3-days and smelled like cow pasture manure when I got home back to the Bronx, NY that day back in August of 1969.
br_myers says:
http://www.bethanymyers.blogspot.comIn the year of our Lord, nineteen hundred and eight-four, I was on a grade 9 class trip. White water rafting+stomach flu+tight fitting wet suit+spontaneous diarrhea=embarrassing moment Even now, many years later it lives on as a legend on to be retold like some Mad Max intro around the camp fire. “Every night we does the tell…”
D.J. Paris says:
br_myers You shit yourself freshman year. You lost the opportunity to be on prom court at that exact moment of brown.
The Mocking Magpie says:
br_myers You poor poor woman…
Julie DeNeen says:
Well I have an entire post dedicated to my most embarrassing moments! I’m Julie- I’m on Paris’ menu bar, so that makes me cool (I think), I am known for blurting indiscretions, writing about vaginas…and animals. Odd mix. I promise I’m not a lunatic. Visit me at http://jdeneen.com. Or you can click on the link on Paris’ sidebar, which might be a better idea because then he gets the credit for the traffic. Then I might just continue to advertise with him, which means more money for him- who doesn’t get happy about that?You want to know what’s embarrassing? When your doctor catches you stimulating your nipples in hopes that it jumpstarts labor contractions. Awkward. I have more great ones here…http://jdeneen.com/2012/07/31/researching-embarrassment-likelihood-in-normal-people/
D.J. Paris says:
Julie DeNeen Julie get a +100000000000000000000000000 for being an advertiser. Go visit her site!!!!
The Mocking Magpie says:
Julie DeNeen Hah! Love it!
Julie DeNeen says:
The Mocking Magpie I vowed I would never tell a soul about that incident until I realized how hilariously funny it was (as long as I wasn’t the main character in the story). Made a little adjustment in my thinking- now, who cares what people know!!! LOL
The Mocking Magpie says:
Julie DeNeen Precisely 🙂
Samantha says:
My blog is called The Road to Personal Success, although I write about things outside my subject matter a lot lately just to keep myself writing. It’s about career, being gen y, the stupidity in society, and other random things. http://donewithcollege.wordpress.comAs for embarrassing moment…I’ve run smack dab into a sliding glass door that was way too clean…once at my teacher’s house the first time I’d been there. The other time I don’t remember well probably because I suffered mild amnesia. Not sure.
D.J. Paris says:
@Samantha Watching women fall down is always hilarious.
n8k99 says:
once in a bad punk rawk bandBeefpimps was the name we spreadNow as a poor painter on welfarein what some people claim is thegreatest city on the planetI can not agree with themnot while I’m so brokeMy pictures and writings you can readat http://nathaneckenrode.comif you leave me some commentsit would restore my hope.
MicheleLeAnn says:
Well, screw me for being prompt!! I was like the sixth person to comment, way way down there. So I’m spamming myself again.Alright, for starters my blog is a random mish-mush of the crap I think is interesting. Mostly my humorous take on what’s going on around me, some girly cooking stuff, and a lot about being cheap. (and not just in a sexual way) The URL is http://sweet-heart.net Subscribe, comment, grow to adore me, and I will do the same for you. I am also into gaining some twitterers. You can follow me @kishes and again, I will gladly return the favor. Now for my embarrassing thing. It is nearly impossible to narrow it down to one thing, considering most things about me are embarrassing. But I guess we can go with the fact that I toot in my sleep. I sometimes wake myself up, only to realize I’ve let out a honker, and my boyfriend is awake. I pretend to still be asleep, and I am so thankful he doesn’t bring it up. We’re not at the point where we’re really okay with farting yet. I can’t imagine how he can possibly keep from laughing.
D.J. Paris says:
MicheleLeAnn Farting during sleep is something that a woman should never do. You ought to be ashamed. For shame!
MicheleLeAnn says:
tfpHumorBlog RIGHT? I feel so so ashamed. 🙁
Paulsalesman says:
HI and thanks for the opportunity, My blog is http://advertisinginconstruction.com and its for all you product manufacturers who are looking to market you products or engage on the internet in any way.As far as embarrassing moments go weeelllll, I was at home in my younger days enjoying some private time with my then girlfriend, my parents were out and we were getting it on. When we had finished I turned around to see a couple of coffee’s on the table. My parents were back early. The best part of it was that to this day nothing has ever been mentioned, ohhh good I am going red thinking about it. Why did I share this 😉
D.J. Paris says:
Paulsalesman Unless they saw you mid-coitus, this does not qualify as embarrassing.
Ericamos says:
Awww….so sad that all our poems got lost! But now I can say that I wrote it with perfect prose and metric pentameter…if that even means anything…sound like it does!Anyway! Embarrassing: I peed myself over and over again during my first marathon. You can read about it if you go to my blog and click on my ‘Marathon’ label.www.ericamos.blogspot.com
shelleysvintagelife says:
Here’s my blog: http://vintagelifedesign.blogspot.com/2012/08/vintage-outfit-of-day-how-to-make-sure.html Embarrassing moments, just one? Really? How do I choose, I stick my foot and/or my keyboard in my mouth on a regular basis! However, I will dig one out from a few years ago. Living in England, at a Pub on the River in Derby with my brother & sister in law who were visiting. We’d been out and about all day. Finally, once we’d had a few beers, my sister-in-law tells me my skirt is totally see through. NO, I didn’t know it. She couldn’t have mentioned this earlier in the day? My husbands’ reply when I asked why he didn’t tell me, “you looked hot.” So yeah, ended well, but OMG, how embarrassing to know I’d inadvertently been “advetising” all day!
redbone210 says:
The most embarrassing thing to me is …I can’t remember one. I am constantly being embarrassed by something or other.Oh! I just remembered one…so I was pregnant with my 2nd child. About 7 months along. I had nightly heartburn that woke me up, gagging and coughing. One night, I woke up, feeling like I was going to choke on the burning bile and started coughing which I couldn’t stop. My husband (at the time) woke up and asked if I was ok. In my efforts to answer him, I peed! I peed my pants while choking on bile and crying.Good man that he is, he consoled me (while trying his hardest not to laugh IN MY FACE) and rolled me out of bed (did I say that I was 7 months and big as a beach ball). At 3 in the morning, he cleaned me all up as I sat there mortified.My blog is http:// http://www.ironingforlove.blogspot.com and I blog mainly for me, but if you’d like to read about my life, that’s ok too.
tashinacross says:
http://tashinacross.wordpress.comtashinacross i’ll do my most embarrassing moment: i was a sophomore at DeVry. a student… 30… should’ve known better… walked out of class taking a much needed break. i walked across the street to a grocery story to pickup my typical dinner, chips & a soda. using every second to it’s fullest, i call my bff… missed a curb, fell elbow to the ground, scraped my pants and my knee. all on voicemail. great, now there’s proof! i pick myself up. cussing. a hole in my workpants, a limp in my step, i look over… all of the students are standing on the stairs watching me. it was little less than terrific. humiliated, i limp back to class. i can’t even bend my knee. my face is ridiculously red. it was pretty awesome!
KeithMichelle says:
Hello DJ! and Hello TFP peeps! Here I am, doing comments for the very 1st time. “I’m excited!”, that’s all I can say. I love this website so very much…I really do. The posts always make me “LMFAO!”. Keep rocking, DJ! I’m here to support you! :)Here’s my blog: MyLIFEin24Hours.wordpress.com
orlyballesteros says:
http://www.exlinkeventsblog.com/My embarassing moment is that I was with this girl who I am courting while I am telling her stories as we walk on a street I happen not to notice the open manhole and booom! in a few seconds I am inside the manhole. Luckily, I have a friend whose house is near that is where I got to wash myself to eliminate the foul smell. Well the incident won me the girl. She thought I was so funny.
Deanspub4 says:
Here’s the blog part of the equation… http://www.pixiecd.com/ It’s supposed to be a health and humor blog but is more of a “how I’m an idiot” blog.
Yesterday in a serious moment of foot-in-mouth disease I blurted out that I used to flash people in college…to a Gastrointestinal Doc. Why I thought that was pertient info to the visit? Who knows! But there’s nothing like telling a near-stranger in charge of your health care that you’re a reformed flasher.
Franktech1 says:
Thanks for the opportunity, my blog is focussing on Internet on connection related issues in South Africa, as our connection speeds are much slower and we pay MUCH more if we need a decent connection speed.My blog is at http://www.franktechconnect.za.net/blogger/. Embarrassement is trying to figure out WordPress and phoning my hosting service several times a day to help me to the extent that did not want to help me anymore, nevertheless it is up and running.
Andi Roo says:
Sorry to join the party so late in the game — been offline for the last week or so as my hubz was out of town & shit kind of sucked. My blog is http://www.theworld4realz.com/ where I rant about things or try to be a better person or sometimes both at the same time which doesn’t always work out very well. During August I’m doing a Month of Controversy A to Z, which has been fun & pissed off lots of people. Embarrassing fact: I love Britney Spears music. There, I said it. Oh, not self-deprecating enough for you? Ok, I also love Justin Timberlake. Too contemporary? Fine — I still listen to Tiffany, all right? Happy now?
ViolaFury says:
Andi Roo What’s embarrassing about that? I could mention that I played “The Alvin and the Chipmunk’s Christmas Song” in a trio once at Channelside plaza in Tampa in a string trio, until we got drowned out by the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. I could, but I won’t. We got paid for that shit, too. Talk about your classy event!
RachelintheOC says:
I have two blogs: http://RachelintheOC.com (my author site) and http://BadRedheadMedia.com (my biz site). Embarrassing: I was hanging out at a friend’s house in high school with my new boyfriend. People were partying and I had one toke — ONE — on some pot and immediately felt really out of it. What I didn’t know was that it was hash. Total lightweight that I am, I passed out for the entire party and at the end of the night, his parents had to drive me home. I’ll never forget my dad’s face as my boyfriend’s dad handed me off “Here’s your daughter.” Shame.
SharonGerlach says:
My blog is at http://sharongerlach.wordpress.com. Now for embarrassing – I had to think about WHICH embarrassing moment to make public, as there are so many in my past (and likely many more in my future…). When I was in my 20s, I was an assistant manager at a specialty toy store. When we had “challenging” customers – either angry, demanding, or simply high maintenance – I was called into action. I was coming off a really bad cold, developed bronchitis – and in the midst of that came “that time of the month.” In one pocket I had cough drops; in the other, O.B. tampons. You can guess this was a REALLY BAD IDEA. While helping an older couple select gifts for their grandchild’s birthday, I had a horrible hacking-coughing-wheezing fit. I dipped into my pocket for a cough drop, started unwrapping it, and watched in astonishment as the couple’s eyes widened in shock and they scurried away with out another word. Yep, I’d grabbed tampon by mistake.
GDRPempress says:
OH MY GOD if I had to choose ONE THING embarrassing about me I couldn’t.You’d have set up a new site just for me: and it’s not a teaser/publicity stunt: I’m just “blessed” in that department.
GDRPempress says:
ALSO: this is one of the coolest things I”ve seen on the internet.Love a man that doesn’t let his good looks hold him back.
flirtology says:
What a good idea! I am a social anthropologist and I research flirting
behaviour. In my blog, I give advice about flirting, based on my
research of over 250 single people. You can find some scientific answers
at http://thesocialsocialanthropologist.com. As for an embarrassing
story, I once tripped in assembly? Luckily, my blog is not as lame as
that….
Katie Grant author says:
I have another one. I accidentally named my sweet children’s book about Heaven after a *Porn Star* AND registered their old domain. So I proudly started sharing the website with everyone I knew, and as soon as they pulled up the website it said “YOU CANNOT ACCESS THIS PAGE BECAUSE OF PORN CONTENT” http://www.bykatiegrant.blopspot.com
ViolaFury says:
Katie Grant author Wow! That’s a major, was gonna say “boner.” Okay, I’ll say it. “Boner.”
Brittany says:
Let’s see. I once drank a quarter of an ozarka bottle full of my own pee. I realize you are probably thinking WTF? You are nasty! How did you do that and who keeps a bottle full of pee laying around? In my defense, I was extremely thirsty and was chugging the “water”, so quite a lot had gone down the hatch as soon as I realized it wasn’t water. I blog at http://dumbstuffdrawn.blogspot.com where I share my embarrassing stories and other funny life failures.
Urban Girls Almanac says:
It should be that my Facebook page has only 19 likes and 15 of them are my friends. And only 15 of my friends accepted the invite to like my page. Kind regards, mmUrban Girl’s Almanachttp://UrbanAlmanac.blogspot.com
Zeze says:
I got food poisoning at the movie theater–the kind where I’m exploding out both ends. At one point I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. I had to sit outside the theater for 20 minutes with full pants waiting for my brother to pick me up. So disgusting!I blog at princess-of-whimsy.tumblr.com which is a caboodle of my fantasies and my realities. A cluster of my dreams and
my fears. A hodgepodge of things that make me laugh, capture my heart,
and/or work my mind. An assortment of things that tickle my fancy.
Basically, my mind and my heart on display.
Shah Wharton says:
Hello, wow… there are some seriously embarressing situations reported here. Makes me feel ever so slightly less embarressed about mine.I once lived in a tiny bedsit and one cold and rainy Sunday afternoon, I found myself messing about in my bedroom – Like you do. When I was desturbed by the doorbell, I reached for my robe, then answered the door. My landlord stood there, soaking wet with rain. He proceeded to tell me about his day, his plans for the properties he owned and various other irrelevancies. As he seemed to be going nowhere fast, I did what any self-respecting Brit does and offered him tea. While I busied myself in the kitchen he popped to the loo. When he returned, his cheeks were pink and eyes shone a little too brightly. When he’d gone, quite soon after that, I popped to use the loo… and there, sitting proudly on my bed, highlighted by the rosey illumination of the bedside lamp, was my Rampant Rabbit!Cringe!You can find my ramblings, mostly about books and writing and whatever else takes my fancy, at Shah Wharton’s WordsinSync – http://shahwharton.com/XX
gluttonessJen says:
Hey! I’m Jen.. Embarrassing stories? How much time ya got? Let’s see, I returned to college at the age of 34, and on my first day I was incredibly nervous. Like a nerd, I arrived like an hour early for my first class, and was forced to wait in the hall (outside of what I *hoped* was the right classroom) with a group of youngsters for the Prof to show up. While waiting, I decided to go the bathroom, as I have “nervous bowels”. I headed to the empty ladies room and properly laid out a TP barrier on the seat just like mama taught me, and sat down to do my business. My worst fears were realized when the bathroom filled with voices. F**k. Of course, someone just had to make a comment about the aroma in the john. I cringed, waited for them to leave, and finished up. When I returned to the hallway to continue my wait, I tried to look natural… There was a pretty good chance no one would know that I was the one who made the big stink in the shitter, right? Then suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around with a big smile on my face, hoping that I was about to make my first college friend. Behind me, a young girl who couldn’t have been no more than 20 stood, stifling a giggle. “Um, I just thought you should know that you have tissue paper coming out of the back of your pants.” And then, she returned to her circle of plastics, and fits of laughter erupted as I made a dash for the bathroom. True to her statement, there was a stream of TP trailing from the top of my jeans to the back of my knee. Clearly, my TP barrier had inadvertently been trapped in my jeans upon my rise from the throne. The worst part was making the trip back down the hall where the rest of the class was already seated, and of course, everyone turned to watch me walk in and search for a seat. Horrific. My nickname was “Charmin” for the rest of the semester. Also, it took me three tries to correctly spell “embarrassing” when I started this post. You can find my blog at http://www.gluttonessgourmet.blogspot.com
hippievillage says:
http://hippie-village.blogspot.com/Well here it goes…something embarassing about me just happened. As I sat here tapping away on my computer a bug fell on my leg and promptly scurried up my pants. It did kinda look like an ant so I guess you could say I had “ants in my pants”. I starting jumping around yelling, “I have a bug in my pants and quickly dropped my drawers in front of our picture window. Since I was in such a hurry I didn’t quite keep my panties up while performing the bugectomy so embarassing, I’d say so, and not so picturesque for the picture window. Anyways visit my blog http://hippie-village.blogspot.com/
Mary Wallace (@ViolaFury) says:
Okay, well I’m so nervy as to slap two of my “funnier” posts up here. The first was admired by Amy Kennedy, one of our ROW80 sponsors; it blew her away. The second one is about my hatred for Mozart so bewarned. My most embarrassing thing?” Hard to tell, there is huge cavalcade of dumbness flittitn through my brain. My meds are “on” and I am frustrated as ALL FUCK just trying to type 3 little senteces Mercially, All I got is following myself on the coments of my blog. Gah, I hate thenthis happens.
http://www.homelesschroniclesintampa.blogspot.com/2013/01/row80-1st-qtr-post-7-sunday-check-in.html
http://www.homelesschroniclesintampa.blogspot.com/2013/02/row80-1st-qtr-post-11-not-check-in-more.html
Terry says:
So, I was the Queen of Sick for two months. This is why I deserved a title, and possibly a tasteful crown… Although I would not say no to a completely gaudy tiara. (Let it not be said that I am too picky!) I get a call from my Mom – who informs me she is still the boss of me. (Who knew? My kids were right!) She insists I go to her clinic (oh yeah – the boss-of-me gets ownership). “You need a Whooping cough test.” “No, I don’t.” (Like that EVER works! But I’m desperate, and childish, and I have NO shame). “Yes, you do. I told the doctor. He agrees, so come down right now.” “No I don’t.(Yeah, cause I just received my imaginary doctorate.) I already had every possible test – and x-rays!”Personally I think once you’ve been irradiated, you should be fabulous… After all, you had to wear the “outfit”. “See you in five minutes.” And like THAT – she wins!!! I want that superpower… And a cape. And maybe some sparkles. So I do as I’m told, because if she’s the boss, maybe she can still spank. You never know – it wasn’t illegal back then. I go in, the gloating was minimal – but don’t think I didn’t see that glimmer in her eye. I’m told to lay down… Damn, he’s got some kinda tube and I’m CLUELESS. “Are you ready?” “That all depends on what you’re going to do to me.” “I’m going to swab your nasal passage (EWWW), and I have to go all the way to your nasal cavity (WTF?!?!). So it’s not going to be pleasant.” Please note: when a doctor says this – RUN like your ass is on FIRE. Y’all – I had my brain roto-routered. Yuck and WTF!!! Tears are running down my face, I’m lying down and thinking “don’t friggin’ cough or you’ll DIE!!! Death by giant Q-tip, how’s that going to look in the paper?” He’s done, yells out the door (because privacy is no biggie in a small town) “She lived, but just barely!” Holy shit.
Tracey G says:
http://www.gimmetrivia.com
It’s not easy to pick one embarrassing moment among so, so many but I’ve recalled a Christmas one which is timely.
One Christmas I was visiting my Aunt’s family. There was a beautiful spread for breakfast on Christmas Day, I was meeting my cousin’s 4 year old daughter for the first time, and my Aunt’s lovely 90 year old mother-in-law. All was going well until someone (probably my very funny cousin) told a joke just as I took a swig of coffee. I started choking, and it all came back up, over my clothing, over my plate, flooding my breakfast, and – best of all – out of my nose. You just can’t rescue a moment like that.
Kate says:
Embarrassing story? I’m getting older so I have lots of fun fart stories, but I’ll leave you with this. One morning, I hurriedly pulled on my jeans that were lying in a rumpled mess on the floor. Later in the day, while walking across a crowded room with all eyes on me, my dirty underwear from the previous day worked their way down the leg and out the hem of my jeans onto the floor. Pick them up? Of course I did!