My Old App Developer Sucks Little Monkey Balls

ugly shoes
In my mind this is what he wears.

I’ll get to the developer in a moment.

I’ve never had huge aspirations for this blog. I still don’t. Here at the blog conference in Las Vegas there are a lot of speakers that talk about monetizing your readers and how to make a career out of your passion. I’ve been around long enough to know that can be a very difficult goal to attain. It’s not my goal.

I’m lucky that I have a day job, and I’m happy. I work with one of my favorite people (boss) and he allows me to bring my dog to work.

This has and will continue to be a place where I write about whatever nonsense flows into my head. Sometimes the content is decent, other times it sucks. Thankfully, most of you forgive the bad days. I try to do three things in each post – be vulnerable, honest, and funny. These are my blogging values and most of the time I achieve ’em.

At this conference there’s a similar thread woven into most every speaker’s presentation. Engagement.

I judge myself as having done only a mediocre job of this over the years. I can be selfish. There are people that write comments who are bloggers that I’ve never read. Those who tweet out posts of mine that I don’t thank. Comments that go unanswered. Emails I receive and never write back.

This is not how to build a strong community.

I’m not entirely selfish. I addressed dozens of holiday cards this year and then accidentally threw them away. I’ll do this card exchange again next year, as I know some of you get a real kick out of it. I still have the cards you sent me over the  years. Also, I’ve done well at replying to most every blog comment I’ve received over the past six months.

I realized today that you weren’t getting email notifications on replies I made to your comments. I always wondered why virtually none of you ever replied to my reply. I have replied to thousands of comments over the years. You never saw them, most likely.

So, a few things have changed.

First, you will receive email notifications if  anyone  (including me) responds to a comment you make on a post.

Second, each time you post a comment a link will show up underneath with your most recent blog post (if you’re a blogger). This way more of you will find each other’s work.

Third, I’m going to do a better job replying to tweets, Facebook comments, and emails. I have always read each one, and I can’t comment on everything, but I’ll be more active.

I’m not down on myself, but there is room for improvement. Your readership means a great deal to me.

Oh, and get this – I’m currently fighting with my dickhead app developer. The current one I have is awesome, but the old one f’d me. He lost a file which makes it impossible to update the Android app. I’ll have to delete the current app from Google Play. Then you’ll delete it from your Android phone and reinstall the new one. What a pain in the dork.

I haven’t found the words to convey how angry I am.  If I had more airlines miles I’d fly to China and put a chopstick through this jerk’s appendix. Apple users, you’re okay, and a new version of my app will be available in a few weeks.

I’ll ask that you collectively pray to your higher power that someone hurts him deeply – like a stranger who points at his shoes and laughs at them for being out of style. Some people are sensitive to that stuff.

ugly shoes
In my mind this is what he wears.

13 thoughts on “My Old App Developer Sucks Little Monkey Balls”

  1. Carmen says:

    I think the fact that you like your boss is the key reason why you like your job. It’s not the work that matters so much, but the people and your surroundings. If your boss or work environment changes, then you find yourself losing that passion for your work. I also think blogging can help bring a little passion back into a life or career that has gone sour.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      100% agree – he’s constantly trying to help me make more money and manage my team better, he invests in my continuing education, etc. I’m pretty damned lucky.

      Yes, I’ve started to receive opportunities (even though this is just my creative outlet) because of this writing. I may even be announcing something in the next few weeks… 🙂

      But, regardless of whatever happens with this blog, to get better I just have to write more. So, I’m trying. I know you’re not supposed to say the word “try” but that’s bullshit. Try all day long. Eventually you get better.

  2. Lori Estep says:

    Just wanted to tell you that I love your blog, and if I ever run into your former developer, I will be certain to point and laugh at his shoes. However, as I live in Texas (don’t judge me by the idiots who populate my home state, please) and have no plans to travel to China any time in the near future, it’s unlikely that this will ever come to fruition, but hey! It’s the thought that counts, right?

    Also,is it weird that I actually kind of dig those shoes?

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Hi Lori,

      Thanks for the wishes to hurt the feelings of my old dev. He sucks! And, please go ahead and plan that trip to China. Hurry up!

  3. Kate Hall says:

    Where do you find these crazy pictures? I’m glad you’ll be more engaging because the IRL you is VERY social and you don’t come across that way online. I tweeted two of your recent posts in the past two days…ahem.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      I’m very social, true! I do exaggerate a little (but not much) here on the blog. I try not to, but a persona does come across, perhaps unfairly. I’m going to set my system up to auto-tweet all your blogs. In fact, I just did! You won’t get notified, but you can check my stream. Yep, I rule!

  4. AlwaysARedhead says:

    I do like responses to tweets, more than a blog post; I think because if someone is tweeting you assume he or she is online whereas blogging you don’t. Either way, it is nice that you are going to try and improve. Your mother would be proud.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      My mother already thinks I’m the most handsome boy in school. She’s right, of course!

  5. Karin Copperwood says:

    Funny, sitting in staff meetings I have the intense desire to drive pencils through certain people’s necks. Now each time I think of that I will think of your former ap developer and wish evil upon his house. Too funny. I sure hope he finds your file (could he just be holding out since he is your “former” ap developer?) You would think he would be smart enough to back that kind of thing up. What a moron.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      He never did find it, sadly. Oh well… The app is nearly done and we’re just testing it now. Should be live in Apple and Google stores in the next week or two. I’m excited!

  6. Traci Baker says:

    It is nice to see someone else with a sense of humor like mine. 🙂 I enjoyed your post very much. I as well need to step up my game when it comes to my blog, as well as the 3 Facebook pages that I run.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Hi Traci!

      Yes, step up your game! But don’t become a better writer than me, because then I will have to destroy you. DESTROY!!!! 🙂

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