I’m a little worried these days.
This is going to sound like an insanely stupid problem, but here goes. I’ve been biking to work every day for over six months. Here in Chicago it’s getting close to hanging up the bike shorts (I have never worn bike shorts) for the season. Winter is coming.
I’m usually comfortable until it dips below forty degrees. Then it’s simply too damned cold to be biking ten miles each way. Plus, I have the dog strapped to my back and I’m sure she isn’t happy when she has two sweaters on and is still shivering.
Oh, I haven’t got to the problem yet. Damned exposition!
The problem is that:
- I’m used to burning hundreds of calories each day
- I’m a spaz when I don’t burn hundreds of calories a day
What this means is that if I don’t work out I have all this extra energy that needs to be released. I’m not a relaxed person by nature. What happens is the energy starts leaking out on all sorts of stuff – for example I had two minor freakouts today at work for benign events. I just freaked out in my head, but it was a bit of a rager.
Also, when I’m talking to Jessica over the phone, I’m more apt to want to increase the energy of the conversation to burn it out. Sometimes this becomes funny material, other times exhausting psychological discussions of people in her building that will approach her while she’s walking the dog and talking with me and they have a three minute conversations with her even though she’s clearly on the phone and too polite to tell them to bugger off.
Trying to brush up on my Brit expressions as I’m doing a radio interview in a few weeks. I’m going to give them my list of “Stupid British Slang.” My favorite British word is “fanny” by the way. I can’t believe we Americans got that one so wrong.
This energy needs to go away. The only way I know how to do that is via exercise or valium. Since I don’t do drugs or alcohol I have to hit the treadmill. I have the P90x Insanity program which is crazy hard, but I also have neighbors underneath me. The instructors have you jumping around like a moron and at 6am I’m not sure this will be well-received.
My other option – work out at night. Well, same problem with the downstairs neighbors. I do, however, belong to a gym, but I go to meetings at night for the various groups to which I’m involved.
Okay, I wanted to end that sentence with “groups I’m involved with” but I know that’s mechanically incorrect. I don’t think anyone truly gives a shit but I changed it anyway. “To which I’m involved” makes me sound like an asshole. If any of you know how to remedy that sort of thing, let me know. Happens to me almost every evening and I don’t know what to do. Except eat lots of chocolate and pass out.
Evenings are just too unpredictable and I’ll always find reasons not to go. I could head to the gym in the morning but that’s a whole three blocks away. I know – tragic. The odds of me getting up and stumbling to the family room are slim as it is. Putting on winter clothes and trudging outside, while completely reasonable, is unlikely.
So, part of me wants to say, “Suck it up, loser! Get to the gym or press play on the DVD like a disciplined human being!” The other part of me understands the other part of me which is to go back to sleep and try to recreate that one dream I had where I was eating soup while sitting in a jacuzzi talking to four blonde sorority co-eds.
I still have a few biking days left and even though I’m wearing the thermal underwear and winter hat under my helmet I’m enjoying the ride. My shirts are soaked with sweat and I have to hang them to dry at work only to put them on again at five pm, but still. It’s fun.
It just occurred to me. Bring a second shirt to use on the way home. I’m smart!