I Don’t Know How to Soothe Myself


What do you do to soothe yourself when you’re having a rough day? I stared at my therapist blankly. By 10am I had been having a “not feeling good” kind of morning. The cold and the sludge and no sun …


I Sometimes Publish Crap – A Confession


Years ago I used to bother celebrities on Twitter and write about the interactions. I called it CelebTweets. After a few posts went live a television producer contacted me with an idea. If I wrote fifty more of these she …


Check Out This Crazy Note Left On My Friend’s Car


My friend received a crazy note on her car yesterday. She had not done the best parking job. She works in a high rise building in the downtown area of Chicago. The garage where she parks is only ever around …


Some Behind the Scenes Reader Drama

bush rash

Some time ago I received a private message from a reader. In this note the person claimed to be having an affair with another of my readers. I thought this was the coolest thing. Two readers met on my blog …


I Don’t Know When to Hold ‘Em or Fold ‘Em


I’m a terrible gambler. This foolio has been living at the Rio in Las Vegas for the past three days. I haven’t sat down once at a table or slot machine. I am surrounded by opportunity to play games and …


Fun in the Bedroom – The D.J. Way

The Japanese Businessman

Yesterday I wrote about how I can fall asleep faster than Jessie Owens sprinting to the bathroom with diarrhea. Nice – I managed to work in a Jessie Owens reference. Need to update my references. Not very timely. Since I …


Being Out of Control is a Good Thing


I’ve wanted to write about my control issues for a long time, but I was never sure how to articulate it effectively. I’m still wholly unsure. In fact, I have no idea how this thing is going to turn out, …


The Support Group I’m Trying to Save

al pacino as Phil Spector

When my wife called me on a Wednesday and told me she had filed for divorce, I didn’t know what to do. I went into shock. My biggest fear had become realized. Even though she had not mentioned the word …