Want Some Free Crap Courtesy of Me?

I don’t ask you people for much.

Well, except your undying affection, validation, and readership. I expect that you check my blog daily, having already added it to your RSS reader (you read it there and by visiting the site). You follow me on Twitter and Facebook and laugh heartily at my every  witticism. When I’m a little down (like today) you already know this and send me that personal email telling me how touched your were that I wrote that one post about something.

When I eat too much you stroke my hair as I pass out. At the grocery store you tell me it’s okay to get the big bag of regular Lay’s potato chips even though I haven’t in five years but they’re two for three dollars for shit’s sake. When I drive you ride shotgun staring, not out the window, but at me with eager  anticipation  of my next sentence, which surely will be hilarious.

This is your role. You do it well. I bow in appreciation.

Now, I need more. Not a lot more. But more.

Here’s the skinny. Actually, maybe this is more fat. Okay, here’s the fat. About a year ago a very nice company sent me a big package of their stuff. They wanted me to give it away in a contest. Well, actually they wanted me to use it and blog about it. But I really didn’t want to do that, so I decided to give it away in a contest. Then I put the package in a drawer at work and never did anything with it.

I have a policy of almost never accepting giveaways from companies. The problem is they want you to blog about their product. I’m not against the idea for other bloggers, but it doesn’t really feel like what would work on the blog. Plus, my self-esteem isn’t high enough to accept swag. Back when I getting a lot of these emails from companies the one idea I did have was to pretend that my dog and cat tried them out and write a review from their perspective. But, ultimately I just decided to not do promotional posts.

It’s still my policy. However…

I have this big thing from that company I need to give away. And I have no problems with contests. I just never held one. So, I reached out to the company and apologized profusely for taking their stuff and not doing anything with it. This is a $150 item.

So, we’re going to do a contest!!!

I’ve got it all worked out and it’s going to be fun. However, I need you to participate. Details are coming soon and I think you’ll dig it. It’s going to be on Facebook because it’s easiest to run there. So, if you haven’t liked my page there, please do so  and you will see the contest.

What I need from you is, when it goes live, to please shoot it out to your friends. Not because I care so much what this company thinks or to stroke my ego. But I already have another company lined up to do the next one.

Nothing is more awesome than giveaways and both companies are letting me do whatever I want. They’re just supplying the prize. Ideally, I’d like to do these every month, if possible.

So, I beg of you, when this thing goes live, participate (it will be easy) and tell your friends. That’s it.

Okay, go do something fun like put Saran-Wrap across the bottom part of the toilet. Then wait. All you have to do is wait.

If you live by yourself, this will be an ineffective prank. I hope.

photo credit: OrangeCounty_Girl via photopin cc