The problem is that my mind is always on “joke-creation” mode.
It doesn’t matter if I’m about to fall asleep, riding my bike to work, or having lunch with my favorite nun: Jokes come in whether I want them or not. This is not a “I just can’t help how hilarious I am” kind of thing. Many, if not most, of my jokes would bomb, should I share them. When something funny comes into my head I have to make a snap decision on whether to express it aloud, delete it, or save for later. My willpower is not strong, and I can rarely hold onto a joke for the future. Like a junkie I don’t save my stash for later.
Often I delete. Most jokes aren’t that funny. I throw away ten for every one I share.
I’ve had the joke faucet running my whole life and it’s hard to shut off. I have to consciously pay attention or it can get me into trouble.
Tonight was almost one of those times.
My friend Laura Ingalls Wilder (not her real name) and I were chatting tonight. Laura is a mom who just turned forty-two. I asked her how things were going and she told me that one of her close friends has an aggressive cancer and will be dead within a few weeks. Also, one of her clients also just got diagnosed with terminal cancer. Lastly, Laura Ingalls Wilder is undergoing the knife in early November for some pretty serious neck and shoulder issues. It’s possible that she could die while in surgery.
Pretty depressing stuff, no? Yes.
My empathy surfaced and I started feeling a sense of loss and sadness for Laura. Clearly she is going through a difficult time. As I’m reeling in this information, the joke mind popped out. Before I knew what I was doing, this is what happened next.
Exact transcript – no edits.
—
it sort of seems like someone is always dying lately. i guess i’m hitting that age.
I just thought of a joke
i’m sure soon one of my friends or I will be diagnosed with breast cancer.
you’re so old that your chest starts to go tits down and your friends start to go tits up
that’s some clever shit right there!
—
Now, if you’ve just decided I’m a monster, you’re wrong. Laura Ingalls Wilder is one of my closest female friends and we bust balls constantly. I think the world of her and would be crushed if she befell tragedy. When she told me that it’s possible (though very unlikely) that she could die as a result of this surgery, I asked if she could write me into her will and leave me her collection of mom jeans. I would them put them into a pile in a church parking lot and burn them as a sacrifice to God. We Christians don’t do enough sacrificial burning for God. I say more lighting things ablaze for the Lord! It’s fun and respectful.
She and I goof around a lot. Okay, back to the story…
—
you didn’t make that up.
I DID. right then. ha
you think you did. you heard it once and then forgot you heard it so you think it is yours.
jesus. I made it up
what to eat for dinner?
I had some frozen pasta with vegetables and pork
no, i’m sure you heard a woman comedian say something like that once.
the pork was a bad call
hmmm. maybe indian, tonight. I could use some Indian.
—
Okay, it ain’t exactly dialogue David Mamet would be proud to put in his next play, but this is what happened. She was talking about tragedy, and I pounced on it. I couldn’t stop myself. Notice how she didn’t even react other than to accuse me of joke-stealing. She’s probably right. This joke has to have been said before. I’m sure I have never heard it, but it’s too perfect and easy of a joke not to have been thought of already. I’m still proud I came up with it, though, even it it’s not original.
What’s important about being my friend is that you get used to these type of exchanges. During real tragedy I am empathic. The jokes go away and I’m present for my friends in whatever they need. But during everyday chit-chat, sometimes I just can’t help myself. I need to be funny, even when inappropriate.
The trick is to find friends that understand you love them deeply and also that you need to be yourself, which means sometimes making jokes about tough subjects. Thankfully, my friends not only can handle it, but welcome it.
photo credit: Old Shoe Woman via photopin cc
talk_and_sleep says:
@tfpHumorBlog Incredible. I can relate. I once became an unwitting anti-Semite on Facebook because I couldn’t stop the joke.
D.J. Paris says:
talk_and_sleep I’m hoping it didn’t involve ovens… That would be a hard joke to land.
janesadek says:
My dad died last week and gallows humor had a huge hand in getting me through it all. My dad was a real champion. My husband and I would speculate on what Dad would make of all the brouhaha. The hysterical laughter hid the tears.
D.J. Paris says:
janesadek I am so sorry to hear of your father. Please accept my condolences.
about100percent says:
It’s a real thing with me too, except my joke reel includes many obscenities. I think it’s probably some sort of social disorder. In any case my friends tell me how wrong I am and move on, which I humbly appreciate. They haven’t booted me yet, which I take as encouragement, truthfully.
D.J. Paris says:
about100percent Friends don’t leave, I’ve found, unless you call them the c-word a lot. Oh, and it really only affects women. Guys just laugh.
inthemomlight says:
Weird you write this on the day my mother asks me to write part of a eulogy for my grandmother who isn’t dead. Jokes may be crossing the line for some, but my mom has the funeral planned for my dad’s mom already and she’s still alive. She said it’ll be on a Saturday at 11 with a nice lunch after, I’m really hoping you can come. I am like what the fuck is wrong with her?????
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:
inthemomlight I’ve heard of not getting along with your mother in law, but this is ridiculous! 😉
inthemomlight says:
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom inthemomlight haha, maybe she’s sick of wiping her ass because she’s been her live in nurse for over 2 years now!
D.J. Paris says:
inthemomlight Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom Well, I’ve been waiting with baited breath – did the grandma die? If not that would have been very disprectful to the eulogy.
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:
You think they’re dropping now, just wait until you burn those mom jeans. The toxic fumes will take everyone else.
D.J. Paris says:
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom Yes, nothing like trapped farts and whatever else drips loose out of that area from you ladies.
Craziness Abounds says:
Hello old friend. I’m trying a new program we shall see if it works. I do the same thing as you. Often when I’m uncomfortable with a situation I make jokes and try to find humor. I also just find random humor everywhere though. I totally got this post as it describes my life. I also try to find friends that understand this about me and won’t get mad. It’s the logical thing to do. My mom often says I should come with a warning label. 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
Craziness Abounds Did you speak this? If so, it’s awesome. And yes, you have one of the best senses of humor on the planet. Truth.
Craziness Abounds says:
tfpHumorBlog Craziness Abounds Sure did! It’s weird having to remember to speak the punctuation! However I am getting the hang of it. Thank you for the compliment.
geoffliving says:
Good post. Sometimes it’s laugh or cry, and you tried for the prior. What can you do, right?
D.J. Paris says:
geoffliving Yeah, I’m kind of a slave to my instincts. It works. Sometimes. Ha.