Years ago I used to bother celebrities on Twitter and write about the interactions.
I called it CelebTweets. After a few posts went live a television producer contacted me with an idea. If I wrote fifty more of these she could pitch it to publishers and get a book made.
She cautioned me, however, to be very selective on what else I wrote on my blog. I did a lot of other styles of posts and she thought that might hurt my “brand.” If I wanted a book deal, I needed to decide if I would be the guy that bugs famous people on Twitter exclusively.
I decided against it. I wanted to do other things.
At the time I was separated and starting to go through a divorce which would become the most painful experience of my life. I had only, up until then, written silly posts. I was terrified to try anything unfunny. Looking back, I don’t know why this was such a scary proposition – I only had fifty readers. If nobody liked the serious stuff I could always go back to comedy.
By the way, my dad’s dick post is still the most popular story on this blog. Can you believe 154k visitors read that last year? Yes, that’s sad. And yes, I’m bragging.
I decided to change up my style. I started to chronicle feelings, thoughts, and perspectives around daily life. Sure I’d pepper in a joke or two, but the overarching theme was honesty and vulnerability. That was my mission.
In 2012 I ended up writing every day. I published 185k words that year. And let me tell you, not all of the posts were gold. Some were flat out stinkers.
The number one reason bloggers tell me they don’t write more often is that they want each post to be gold. I understand. I do, too. But I have way more singles and doubles in me than home runs. I also have strikeouts.
Yesterday I struck out. I sat at my computer for two hours trying to save a piece of shit. It wasn’t working no matter how many times I edited. But, in a way, I felt okay about it. The piece was as good as it was going to get. I had pride because even though the post didn’t turn out perfect, I had done all that I could. I hit publish.
According to stats 74% of my daily traffic comes from new visitors. Today many people were introduced to my blog with maybe the worst post I have ever written. I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t return.
So, why do I publish strikeouts?
One, failure is part of human experience. We all put effort into projects that don’t pan out. People relate to mistakes. Two years ago I dropped the need for my posts to be perfect and the weirdest thing happened. My viewership increased. The comments from readers got longer and more frequent. I was connecting with people at a deeper level than that of just fart jokes.
Also, many kept coming back after a less-than-stellar post. People forgive. I found that the only time anyone got pissed was when I didn’t share something intimate or “real.” Like if I wrote a joke that for a quick laugh I would receive little engagement.
I believe part of respecting and honoring an audience is to show them the truth. The flubs. Times that it doesn’t come together. As long as the writing is honest and in my voice I push it through. Now, I accept the consequences of this behavior, too. I lose readers who expect better consistency.
I guess at the end of the day I just want to feel good. During that marathon session yesterday I put my heart and sweat into that piece. I just re-read it again and yes, it’s cringe worthy. It was also the best I could do. I feel good about it because I see all the hard work that went into the process.
The question is, however – should I subject the audience to a mediocre post?
I’m probably alone here, but I say yes. A resounding yes. I just want to try my hardest and let the chips fall where they may. Were there readers bummed out after reading yesterday? I don’t know – I’m sure some were unimpressed.
So, here’s my deal. I write a lot. I have a boring, normal life and sometimes my posts will suck. Usually they won’t. Thanks for understanding.
Karma Girl says:
Don’t feel bad. All of my posts suck. That’s MY brand, baby! 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
At least you can own your suckiness! Brand it!
Laurel Regan says:
I’m a perfectionist about things in my blog posts like spelling and grammar… but other than that, yeah, sometimes the rest of it is more crap than gold. And I totally agree with you that it’s OK… maybe even preferable… to share the good, the bad, AND the ugly. Thanks for putting it into words so well!
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks, Laurel. I mean, you have to have a good batting average. Some people are just awful writers no matter how “real” they are. To those I say, “Get thyself to a writing workshop!” Ha!
Mothers little hleper says:
Post everything. Honesty and the way you write about who you are keep bringing me back to read your posts, even the sucky ones!
D.J. Paris says:
Wow – thanks! I really appreciate that!
Roy A. Ackerman, Ph.D., E.A. says:
Actually, as you stated, some of what really tickles our fancy, what we think we exhilarate our audience falls completely flat. And, what we think is just filler does the opposite.
The key thing then is to post what we think honestly (or make it clear that we are being totally facetious), employ great graphics, proper grammar, and hope for the best. Because the best is what we always should offer.
(It’s why my posts are written days or weeks in advance. That means I am never forced to write when the spirit fails me.)
D.J. Paris says:
Roy – you’re right. Great idea of pre-writing, too. Inspiration does not come consistently for me. I need to grab it when it hits and write like the wind!
Nate says:
It just shows that you don’t have to be perfect to have a good quality post. I know that people would rather have someone who is genuine and sincere. Thanks for sharing!
D.J. Paris says:
Absolutely – I tell bloggers that their audience WANTS to get to know them, and to be vulnerable and honest. It takes balls, but it works out in the end because people keep coming back. I really dig your content by the way.
Deborah says:
Nope, I agree with you. To be real, you have to share the shit posts too. Life is not sunshine and farting unicorns every day of the week and neither should your blog be. That’s why I am nicheless. I refuse to be put into a box. I don’t live my life in a perfect box and I won’t pretend I do on my blog. Keep being yourself. You rock and now I MUST read yesterday’s post.
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah, I don’t have a niche either. I just write. Nothing I write will ever go viral and brands will continue to ignore me. Which is fine. I get enough love here and on Twitter. Ha!
Deborah says:
Twitter love. That reminds me you said you were sending me a how to grow instructional:) truthfulmommy@gmail.com come on brother, I need the guidance
D.J. Paris says:
Done!
Jeanette says:
It took me almost a week to publish a post that was better as a vision than a reality the other week. I still cringe when I see it, but I know it will help someone. I, too, have noticed that oftentimes the best planned and developed posts receive the least amount of attention or comments.
D.J. Paris says:
Hmm – I never thought of something I have written as actually being able to help someone. Maybe that’s because I only think of myself. Narcissism rocks! 🙂
Jennifer says:
If I waited for perfection, I’d never push the publish button. My blog is part of a journey for me and that includes improving my writing. I’m glad you decided to do other things than celebrity tweets. I look forward to your posts and I learn more from the ones you probably classify as crap. 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
Ha – thanks! Yeah, also realizing that I’m not the center of the universe also helped. This is just a dumb blog where I share my stuff. It’s fun but not to be taken too seriously.
Alana (@RamblinGarden) says:
If you look at the list of all time strikeout leaders in baseball, you will see lots of baseball’s greatest hitters. Reggie Jackson! Willie Stargell! Deriek Jeter! (among others). Obviously their fans forgave them the strikeouts because of all the quality times they didn’t strike out. . I totally agree that if you write honestly and from the heart, readers will forgive a stinker or too. I hope so, anyway. If not, I’m boned. By the way, so far, I haven’t seen one post from you that I would have considered “crap”. If that makes you feel better. As for me, dunno.
D.J. Paris says:
That’s true. I think you just have to have a decent batting average. Thanks for the nice compliment!
Natalie - The Cat Lady Sings says:
Truth. I’d like to publish all winners, but I’m not amazing all of the time (quiet, ego!).
D.J. Paris says:
To me, as long as I post with integrity, it’s a win. This is why I don’t focus on my stats. Too unpredictable.
Francene Stanley says:
It’s like the old saying: To thine own self be true. That’s the best advice I ever heard. We shouldn’t try to be something other than we’re not. If we’re having a down day, let everyone share and sympathize. Keep blogging every day.
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks Francene! I’ll keep writing!
Lady Bren says:
That’s the phrase I was trying to think of and just couldn’t remember ~ Thanks Francene
Lindsey DuBois says:
Hi! I can really appreciate this post. However, I also want to share something which recently happened to me in regards to what I think of as my “crap” posts. Someone featured me on their blog last week. I thought for sure, he would choose to highlight and share what I consider my strongest posts. He did not. He actually picked what I think of as my crappiest, ugliest, sloppiest posts. These are the posts that I think to myself, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I subjected people’s eyes to that TRASH.” I often think of deleting these posts. However, I respect this blogger and his writing tremendously and I find his readers actually liked my posts. It’s weird to me… But it has me thinking that as writers, we are often hardest on ourselves. I am learning that even if I publish something “crappy,” others may not see it that way and even glean some insight and courage from what I share. After all, art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, right?
I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Oh and thanks for the twitter follow. I’m new to the twitter beast and I have to say, it confuses me to no end.
Have a great day,
Lindsey
Lindsey DuBois says:
Hi! I can really appreciate this post. However, I also want to share something which recently happened to me in regards to what I think of as my “crap” posts. Someone featured me on their blog last week. I thought for sure, he would choose to highlight and share what I consider my strongest posts. He did not. He actually picked what I think of as my crappiest, ugliest, sloppiest posts. These are the posts that I think to myself, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I subjected people’s eyes to that TRASH.” I often think of deleting these posts. However, I respect this blogger and his writing tremendously and I find his readers actually liked my posts. It’s weird to me… But it has me thinking that as writers, we are often hardest on ourselves. I am learning that even if I publish something “crappy,” others may not see it that way and even glean some insight and courage from what I share. After all, art and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder, right?
I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Oh and thanks for the twitter follow. I’m new to the twitter beast and I have to say, it confuses me to no end.
Have a great day,
Lindsey
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks for the long reply – yeah, sometimes I think something is going to get huge comment responses and it just doesn’t. Total mystery on what people connect to. And yes, I’m hardest on myself. But that’s okay. Thank God I’m not delusional thinking every post is brilliant. We all hate those bozos. 🙂
AlwaysARedhead says:
You can decide what is mediocre but then the reader also decides what is mediocre, and there are lots of reader. What one person thinks is mediocre another thinks it is fabulous. Thus go ahead and hit the publish button and “Let the chips fall where they may”.
D.J. Paris says:
That’s true – people vote with their mouse and keyboard. I’ll just keep going and see who stays. (hopefully it’s mostly hot chicks)
Adminderella says:
So, the post you wrote yesterday, which was the first post I’ve read… wasn’t a good post? Hmmm, I liked it. I’m not entirely sure what that says about me. And then I came back today. Should this worry me?
D.J. Paris says:
Nope – it sucked! Glad you liked it and that your bar is low. You’ll really love my decent stuff! 🙂
CeCe says:
Can I just say that I do enjoy the occasional blog post about blogging? Does that make you an existentialist? You have layers man, layers like an onion. Or a parfait. Everybody likes parfait.
D.J. Paris says:
I’m so meta! (no idea what that really means)
Lori Estep says:
I love this! I don’t do resolutions normally, but this year, I did resolve to post something on my blog at least 3 times a week, hopefully more, and I’ve done good thus far. Most of it is crap, and a couple have been pretty great (if I do say so myself). I’m glad to know that even great writes like you aren’t always happy with what they come up with, but are ok with it. I wanna be you when I grow up.
Jana says:
OK — this makes me rethink what I said the other day, about posting only when I “feel it” so that the posts are authentic and real. Maybe I just need to get over myself and write even when I’m not feeling it. Who knows what might come out?
D.J. Paris says:
Yes – it’s more important to write when you’re not feeling it. Trust me. Chop wood – carry water.
D.J. Paris says:
Great writes like me? Ha! I’m just a bozo who talks about himself. I’m an okay writer – but nothing great. I do appreciate the compliment, though!
Lori Estep says:
D’oh! Nothing quite as humbling as trying to leave a semi-interesting/witty comment and missing a typo!
*checks obsessively for typo(s) in this comment*
*hovers over submit button while checking again*
Yeah, ok. I’m good.
D.J. Paris says:
Well – aside from all the grammatical errors…
Lady Bren says:
Most of the time I feel as if I’ve struck out
Last week I “cleaned out” my page ~ there were 25 drafts.
I really wonder if what you’re saying is oh so true and if so DAMN I’ve kinda blown it. I do tend to get very real and honest especially when it comes to our battle with Anorexia but when I go back and read the posts that weren’t “the whole truth” who was I fooling. I still am struggling with the statics side of things. I don’t get many comments which I can’t figure out.
Ok so I’ve ranted. I mainly wanted to say thanks for sharing the crap and giving me pause to think
D.J. Paris says:
You’re thinking about this WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too much. Just post! And don’t worry about the comments – they’ll come eventually!
Anonymous says:
Thanks sometimes I just need a swift kick????????
Lady Bren says:
Thanks sometimes I just need a swift kick????????
JoAnne says:
Great post. I can relate. I write ahead whenever I can so that I have a cushion, especially for those times I can’t get the words on the page to make any damn sense. Even so, if you go back through my blog it’s not all going to be stellar. I don’t hate any of them, though, because I was always honest and always doing the best I could at the time.
I think it’s better to be consistent than perfect, and I know that it’s better for writing to be honest than to be beautiful. If you write enough, eventually you’ll get some that are both.
This post, by the way, is fantastic.
PencilShaving says:
Yes the blogger life isn’t all that glamrorous and easy as many think it to be