Yesterday I wrote about how I sweat through shirts when it’s hot out. I think my body just runs warmer than most. It’s not a lot of fun when you’re trying to impress a chick at the Taste of Chicago in early July eating a turkey leg sweating like a moron.
Thankfully I’m in a relationship, and my girlfriend seems to accept this body defect. I also have really big feet that she keeps talking about. Not sure what the deal is there.
See what I did? I’m a stinker.
Anyway, I had completely forgot that there is a solution to this problem. In fact, I had already solved it a year ago. And then promptly forgot.
Towards the end of last year, when it was still warm enough to do stuff outside, this girl I was dating encouraged me to run a 5k. They gave this godawful shirt as a tchotchke. The one nice this about it is made out of the fabric that whisks away the sweat and somehow drips it into the air or something. I’m no engineer. Anyway, it somehow makes it so that the sweat disappears into the ether.
I went online and bought three of these shirts from Champion (which I pronounce Cham-peen to sound like a New Yorker). Then I put them in a drawer and never pulled them out.
Cut to this year where I wore my normal cotton tees like every prior year. I’m sweating like crazy each day and then my dad says…
“Why don’t you get those shirts that breathe easy?”
Don’t follow. Explain.
I have these golf shirts made out of something so that I don’t sweat?
No kidding! How does that work?
I don’t know, but it does.
Wait – is that the same thing that runners wear? Oh, wait, I bought like three of those.
—
Not the most exciting conversation, but this is how out of it I am. Now, I don’t sweat while I’m on my bike jamming out to Kid Rock. I just went out on a big limb admitting that to all you. I hope you can appreciate the vulnerability there.
Craziness Abounds says:
I didn’t know they made those! My husband runs all the time and comes home dripping sweat. So one don’t hold out on me WHERE do I get these amazing wonders of modern technology and 2 how much were they do you remember? Ok Please email me your response.
melyndafleury@yahoo.com
D.J. Paris says:
@Craziness Abounds Just google dry-fit shirts. You’ll find them!
SusannaGrace says:
My husband has this problem, as well (and is also blessed with big feet…connection?) I always buy the “moisture wicking” shirts and jerseys for him. Don’t make the mistake he does and think that just because you don’t sweat as much in them, you can wad them up time and time again on the floor of your truck so that you can slip them on again for the next bike ride/run/other sweaty adventure. You’ll be a mite musky.
D.J. Paris says:
@SusannaGrace Great, now I know your husband has a huge d. That was not something I needed to figure out.
Alyssaplace says:
Dont sweat the small…er ..nevermind. Actually at first glance the burrito stain apears to be a strategic embelishment to the running firecracker (?) logo. Question, trust me I narrowed it down to one as I now have many, does Champeen (a real New Yorker pronouncing it) make “breathe easy” socks for those big feet your sporting? Lol see what I did there?
D.J. Paris says:
@Alyssaplace You had a ton of great ones in this post. Keep commenting so I can feel inferior to your well-crafted comedic comments (but not your alliteration!)
BitingLife says:
I didn’t know “Champeen” was a thing. But then I realized, oh god, that’s how I say it…
D.J. Paris says:
@BitingLife We’re the same, you and I. In ALL ways. (just creeped you out? I hope so)