Yes. I’m talking about you.
(I address my bicycle as “you”.)
I know. That was dumb. And made you feel uncomfortable for a moment. Especially if you’re a dude. Well, I guess maybe not all dudes would have felt uncomfortable. Certain ones.
But, this is a post about riding a bike. And, goddammit, there’s just no way you’re going to read a post titled, “I’m Going on a Bike Ride!”
I am going on a bike ride! To work.
I will be doing this every day (except when it rains) until it gets too cold in late fall. I have the dog in a backpack, and this commuter garment thing I just installed so I can bring my suit.
The total distance is around twenty miles round-trip. Since I’m in Chicago and near the lake, it’s a beautiful ride. Also windy. I go right along Lake Michigan with all the other weirdos that ride to work. I’ve been doing this for the past three years. Before then I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was fourteen.
Now, please realize I have hardly moved since I put the bike away last year. I live in a fourth floor walkup. I get winded (no jive) making it up the stairs with groceries.
To go from nothing to twenty miles a day is intense. I’m a sweaty mess when I get to work. Well, surely there must be a shower there, yes? Nope.
I have to towel off, wash up in the sink and then put on a suit. Not the most fun thing to do all drenched in sweat. But hey, I’m a professional.
I’m excited, because I’ll burn a few calories and get a few endorphins flowing. Better than the tiny Mr. Goodbars floating around in my system right now. Seriously, who ever eats tiny Mr. Goodbars? Other than me when they’re on sale?
Was going to end with a strong joke about doody, but then a wave of fear hit me. I realized that even though I’m all protected with a helmet on the bike, my dog is not. I’ve ridden with her before and never had an issue. In fact I’ve never fallen myself. But if you ride a bike like me, logging thousands of miles, you will fall one day. And the idea of crushing my dog is a devastating thought. So, now I’m nearly paralyzed with fear, to tell the truth. I think it’s a healthy fear, though. Still, ugh.
Would have been easier to do the doody joke. But, now I’m just scared. Oh well. I’m off to eat some more tiny Mr. Goodbars to kill that feeling. Feelings suck!
Katjaneway says:
Holy moly. How long does it actually TAKE you to get to work? I used to drive to the train station, ride it up to the city I worked in, then took the bike from the locker and biked the mile to work. That was bad enough. All just to skip I-5 traffic. I don’t even think it was any cheaper. Oh well.
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway Only about 45 minutes. Not that long considering the distance. Plus, it’s right up against the lake, which is gorgeous.
wilyguy says:
The 18th is Ride To Work day… You’re ahead of that.
You should put the bike on a trainer in your place during the winter.
My work is 17 miles and I will occasionally ride that distance, once I work up to it.
Wet wipes are good for the “shower” at work.
WG
D.J. Paris says:
@wilyguy The whole week was celebrated here in Chicago. Lots of free swag from companies like CLIF bars and stuff. Was fun. Wet wipes = great call.
HeyMikey says:
What kind of a job do you have that you have to wear a suit (Ughck. Thank you, no.) but you can take your dog to work?
I love Mr. Goodbar. It’s the only peanut-embedded candy bar I’ve ever liked. I have an emotional connection to Hershey brand chocolate because of my great-uncle but there’s something about Mr. Goodbar chocolate. It seems sweeter and creamier.
D.J. Paris says:
@HeyMikey I know, it’s a weird life. Mr. Goodbar is fantastic, you’re correct.
mariah says:
get her a dog helmet. at least the thinking part will be protected.
http://www.amazon.com/Doggie-Bike-Motorcycle-Helmet-Small/dp/B002GC9K42
D.J. Paris says:
I have been thinking about this ever since you suggested it. No joke.
Kay Michaels says:
I’m impressed. I decided to ride my bike to work last spring, but I only live two miles from where I work. Two hilly miles, and I had to walk the bike up some of those hills, but the important thing is I tried. Safe travels… for you and the dog.
D.J. Paris says:
@Kay Michaels My dog and I are pointing our paw and finger at you, respectively, and laughing.
Jessica_thereader says:
I never wanted to be a bike so bad! 😉
D.J. Paris says:
@Jessica_thereader This is both very sweet and sort of gross.
Andi Roo says:
Here I was feeling all snazzy cuz I I’ve worked up to 1.5 miles of walk-jog-walk on the treadmill. Now I feel worthless & inept.
*throws self off building*
Shit, can’t even do THAT right. Still here. Guess I’ll keep up the walk-jog-run & hope someday I catch up to you. CHEERS!
D.J. Paris says:
@Andi Roo You have a gangsta teenager to raise. Don’t off yourself until he grows up and does nothing special with his life. (kidding)