Today is my girlfriend Jessica’s birthday. The big 1-8!
That joke was too easy.
I did something never before – purchased a gift over the phone, had it shipped down to the ATL where she lives, and am about to listen to her open it live. After she thanks me I will still have no idea what this thing is or what it looks like. This is not my fault.
When she was in Chicago visiting this summer, she would often frequent Michigan Avenue for shopping excursions. Jessica was in WaterTower Place one afternoon and stumbled across Henri Bendel and really dug one of their bracelets. She casually mentioned this later that evening. I went home, looked online, and there were about 50 different bracelets and I had failed to remember any other part of that conversation where she described it in detail.
Then I had to do that crappy move that not only reminds the girlfriend that you weren’t listening, but that also tells her that you’re buying her the bracelet. You have to talk about it in a slightly demure fashion as to do your best not to tip your hand.
So, that bracelet you liked at Henri Bendel – what about it really spoke to you?
You don’t have to be a cryptologist to decipher that code. After she provided some of the details I still had to act all casual. Halfway through her describing it I interrupted and asked about the Atlanta Braves. Then I forgot the season’s been over for a few months now.
When I got back to the website, the bracelet she described simply wasn’t there. Rat farts! I was going to have to call this one in. The next morning I spoke to some dopey salesgirl who couldn’t stop giggling at everything I said. Truth be told I was shooting forth jokes the whole time because I knew she was going to laugh at everything I said.
She took the order, promised to wrap it and send it down south. I should have asked for a receipt or a confirmation number. She was all of twenty one and sounded high on mushrooms. Even though I ordered it in plenty of time, the gift arrived only today, which was perfect. Jessica called and was very excited and grateful.
There was no way, save me going down to WaterTower to purchase it, that I was going to see this bracelet ahead of time. And, even though it’s what she wanted, I still feel removed from the experience, and therefore a little guilty. I didn’t get her anything that I picked out on my own. So, I need to come up with something.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the women I’ve dated/married, is they don’t care how much you spend on them. At least I’ve never been with somebody who does. But, if you can make a gift, or write something beautiful, that seems to touch them more deeply.
If you have suggestions for me, write below. Otherwise the Mike & Ike’s gift card I bought at Walgreens (good for any 24 boxes of Mike & Ike’s) is going in the mail. God, I hope she likes Mike & Ike. But, who doesn’t?
photo credit: Snorkler17 via photo pin cc
Natalie the Singingfool says:
Question: do you crotchet? or whittle? Girls love handmade shit, so you can’t go wrong busting out the old crafting kit. Example: one year my husband made me a card with melted crayon wax in the shape of a heart, and I ate it up. I still have it.That’s love.If you aren’t crafty, my advice? Write a poem. Doesn’t even have to be good – if it rhymes, you’re golden.
bluenotebacker says:
Natalie the Singingfool As long as it’s not a limerick though, right? Steer clear of the limericks?
Natalie the Singingfool says:
bluenotebacker Natalie the Singingfool yes, WALK AWAY FROM THE LIMERICKS!!! Thanks for catching that.
bluenotebacker says:
Natalie the Singingfool bluenotebacker I’m glad to be helpful, but sad that the 1st thing in my mind when I ready your mention of poetry was a man from Nantucket. I blame DJ though, because it seems like something I might read here 😉
lcarilo says:
I thought Mike & Ike broke up.
thebloggerincognito says:
handmake a hilarious popup card with a fun msg and some likeness of you poppingup to be there with her for her bday
thebloggerincognito says:
or anything paper mache
Elizabeth Knightbridge says:
Mike and Ikes are great…I think how much you care is really cool…you are a writer…write her something and send the Mike and Ike…done.CheersLiz
Deb Z says:
Dude! Don’t be sending Mike and Ikes….they broke up. (you can see it on the box….one’s name is x’d out). It’s bad juju.
Craziness Abounds says:
I bet the bracelet is beautiful and she won’t care if you get her anything else. However, if there is a particular lotion or bath and body works product she likes, that would be a nice touch.Good for you thinking about it and getting it there on time.
WMD says:
Amazing ‘1-8’ does that mean eighteen? Lord have mercy you lucky fellow and since she’s just turning 18 we must assume you were going out with her when she was seventeen! I hope she has a happy birthday and appreciates your gift. How old are you by the way?
Katjaneway says:
Dude, if you end up not sending the gift card, I will TOTALLY take it off your hands. 😉
inthemomlight says:
Don’t buy her a tangible item – plan an experience for her. Only you can answer what something really fun and cool that she would like to do, but it’s the way to go.
Becky G says:
That’s so sweet of you. Yeah, you may have lost a point or two for not listening at the time, but you gained a whole lot by actually picking up on her hint. Most guys are like yeah, pretty bracelet, and then never think of it again and get their girlfriend a blender for her birthday or something else retarded. Kudos man! You’re totally right though. Unless you picked a totally shallow broad, girls don’t care about how much it was. It should be something that requies more thought than stumbling into Walgreens in a hungover panic because you forgot her birthday again this year. 😉
WMD says:
A joke! Heh heh! I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed!
kaseykakes says:
My favorite “just because” gift from the husband was vanilla coke and some post-its left on my desk at work. He once made me hear shaped hamburgers http://www.powersfullife.com/2008/02/16/happy-valentines-day-2/ still love that one. Food is the way to my heart apparently. Just do something she likes. Oh, and once he did buy me the earrings I said I wanted, but I totally didn’t think he was listening, so when I got them I cried. So really, the bracelet could be enough 🙂
TJ says:
I am unfamiliar with Mike & Ike but they look like sweet, sugary goodness 🙂