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videocast Archives • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories https://thoughtsfromparis.com/tag/videocast/ Humor blogger D.J. Paris writes about the most interesting subject in the world - himself. It's worth a look if you're cool. And you are! Sun, 18 Aug 2013 14:59:37 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-meepers-1-32x32.jpg videocast Archives • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories https://thoughtsfromparis.com/tag/videocast/ 32 32 oSex With Karen and D.J. – Episode 4 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-4/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-4/#comments Wed, 14 Aug 2013 01:38:37 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=6165 The fourth episode of oSex with Karen and D.J. is live! oSex is a videocast where we Karen and I answer your relationship and sex questions. The “O” stands for “opposite”! Get it? There’s two of us, right? And one of us is a lady? (it’s not me)

We’re very proud of this show and hope you enjoy it. In this episode we tackle a few subjects such as like…

  • Hall Passes – good idea?
  • After the Date – call/text etiquette

If you’d like to be on our show (either anonymously or by name) please complete the form below with your relationship or sex question and we’ll help you!

 

]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-4/feed/ 8 oSex With Karen and D.J. – Episode 3 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-3/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-3/#comments Tue, 21 May 2013 14:15:37 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=5734 The third episode of oSex with Karen and D.J. is live! oSex is a videocast where we Karen and I answer your relationship and sex questions. The “O” stands for “opposite”! Get it? There’s two of us, right? And one of us is a lady? (it’s not me)

We’re very proud of this show and hope you enjoy it. In this episode we tackle questions like…

  • I wake up and masturbate until I’m raw!
  • My husband is having online chat sex.
  • Should I masturbate in front of my impotent husband?
  • STDs during oral sex – what should you do?
  • Karen Dating Don’t – farting on a date in front of the date

If you’d like to be on our show (either anonymously or by name) please complete the form below with your relationship or sex question and we’ll help you!

 

]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-3/feed/ 2 oSex With Karen and D.J. – Episode Two https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-two/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-two/#comments Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:00:00 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=5597 The second episode of oSex with Karen and D.J. is live! oSex is a videocast where we Karen and I answer your relationship and sex questions. The “O” stands for “opposite”! Get it? There’s two of us, right? And one of us is a lady? (it’s not me)

We’re very proud of this show and hope you enjoy it. In this episode we tackle…

  • My ex has a new partner – what do I tell my kids?
  • Possible to be friends with guy where it didn’t work out romantically?
  • Can my girlfriend be nastier in bed?
  • I’m shy around great looking men!
  • D.J.’s dating don’t – freaking out over a mouse… and not apologizing!

If you’d like to be on our show (either anonymously or by name) please complete the form below with your relationship or sex question and we’ll help you!

]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-two/feed/ 3 I Wear the Same Shirt on Every First Date https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-wear-the-same-shirt-on-every-first-date/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-wear-the-same-shirt-on-every-first-date/#comments Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:47:14 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=5498 I miss writing.

For the past month I’ve taken time off and haven’t made the blog a priority. It’s a bummer because I miss my regular commenters. I also miss sharing my daily life. Quite frankly, outside of doing a lot of dating, not a whole lot has happened to mention. But not much happened last year and I still managed to write every day without a miss.

I’ve been putting a lot of energy into the podcast and new videocast and people seem to dig it. But this blog is my true passion. With that being said…

Let’s talk about wearing the same shirts on dates with different people.

I have determined that a uniform is necessary for the well-being of my dating.

If you’re going on a few dates a week then, I’ve learned, you have to always wear the same shirt the first time. Because you’re going to forget what you wore with who. Now, I’m not out galavanting with every young lovely I come across. But even with just a couple of dates now and then, you aren’t going to remember that you put on that silver dickie with Barbara last Tuesday.

Now, what if you wore the same outfit by accident to the same date twice in a row? Who cares, right? Not me – I don’t give a shit. But women do. I know this because I’ve asked a bunch of them. I’m not exactly sure what the big deal is, but they notice. I can’t tell you what any person I’ve taken out has worn. I hardly notice. I wish I did as my mom’s business  is high-end women’s fashion clothing, and you think I’d be more tuned in, but I’m just not. This is embarrassing and try not to judge, but I can’t tell you anyone in my life’s eye color. I know I’m sort of blue. Couldn’t tell you my family, friends, or any girlfriend’s peepers.

On the positive side, I also don’t notice if you gain weight. I once had a girlfriend who put on like fifteen pounds for some reason. I think she was stressed about work or something. It never even occurred to me to pay attention to her expanding waistline. She was still as beautiful to me as ever.

The downside is that I don’t notice when you lose weight either.

So, I need to work on being more present for external factors like dress and appearance. I am very aware for internal stuff that you’re experiencing. Thanks to a shitload of therapy I’ve learned how to develop intimacy through paying attention to your feelings and junk. I’m present for you, baby! Now, let me turn on the Playstation and zone out while you do something that women do when their husbands are playing video games.

If you’re going to date me you’re going to have to love my purple striped shirt. Don’t worry, it looks nice. Yes, it’s been in front of other women who I was trying to impress. Yes I once spilled Ethiopian chicken all down the front. And yes, once it even came off in a heavy makeout session with a lawyer. And no, I didn’t see her “briefs.” Sorry, worst joke EVER.

Now I need to come up with universal second date shirt. Maybe the brown one.

shirt I wear on dates
Yes, I know – time to take it to the dry cleaner. It’s earned it.
]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-wear-the-same-shirt-on-every-first-date/feed/ 19 I Used to Be Number One on Google for “Funny Blogs” https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-used-to-be-number-one-on-google-for-funny-blogs/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-used-to-be-number-one-on-google-for-funny-blogs/#comments Thu, 18 Apr 2013 01:18:18 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=5500 Now I’m just #1 on Google for “dick stories.”

My blog certainly isn’t the most hilarious on the web (well, nobody tells a story about seeing my dad’s penis like me), but it’s decently funny. Sure I use too many adverbs, but, you know what? I goddamn well like adverbs. It’s me and since I don’t know how to write with better grammatical sense, I let it slide. A big-deal professor recently told me I write well. So there, inner critic D.J.!

Sometimes I get squishy and talk about feelings and other non-funny topics. Once I even mentioned I cry during Extreme Home Makeover.

Who pays the taxes on those houses? I’m assuming the family previously living with toxic mold in the baby’s crib-room isn’t going to be able to shell out 15k annually for an new eight bedroom, six bath palatial mansion Ty and co. raised in three days.

Ty Pennington
I saw this bonus episode where he made the husband and wife an “adult love dungeon” as his secret project. It had the swing and everything.

So, while I’m not topping the charts of Google for anything boast-worthy these days, I’m having a hell of a lot of fun.

Just yesterday I launched a new videocast with my pal Karen called oSex. It stands for “Opposite Sex” and we provide love and relationship advice to readers. I also have my weekly interview series Bloggers are Weird where I talk to other writers and they read their crap live. I published a book last month of my best material that people actually bought. I crossed 50k Twitter followers two weeks back.

While this may sound like bragging, I assure you it isn’t. I am surprised to witness all of that has happened. The magician who pulls a rabbit out of his hat and is entertained as much as the audience. That’s me.

This all started because a woman at a party told me her dream was to quit being a partner at a prestigious law firm and become an  archaeologist. When I saw her eyes light up as she explained that she was more passionate about Italian ruins than anything else I  knew I had to do something with my creativity. So I tried my hand at writing.

Since then things have unfolded. I make a little bit of money each month from the site. No, nothing has gone viral. No major accolades or awards. But I get to be myself. Another website pays me to write for them every other week. I’m on the board of a non-profit site devoted to raising awareness of mental health issues. I get a few nice emails every week from readers.

All of this exists today as a result of me exploring passion.

And yes, I still have massive issues in my life. I fall in love with women who don’t want me. I give my self-esteem away because I can’t give it to myself. I need constant validation that I’m okay from people in my life. Just last night I hurt a great friendship by acting inappropriately. I have challenges and often not the resources to cope. I’m unfixed.

Life ebbs and flows whether I want it to or not. I can’t do much in the way of controlling circumstances. It’s the greatest joke played on me – that I have influence. I really don’t. But what I can do is put my head down and keep going. Pick up the keyboard, sit down, and get to work. Tell the truth. Be funny. Share what’s hard.

Thank you for reading, commenting, sharing, and supporting. While I struggle nothing helps me like a funny or thoughtful sentence from you.

And just to prove to you I haven’t lost the previously earned #1 spot on Google for “funny blogs” I’ll be relaying tomorrow a story where I insulted a sex worker by accident and she shamed the shit out of me. It’s pretty great.

]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/i-used-to-be-number-one-on-google-for-funny-blogs/feed/ 10 oSex With Karen and D.J. – Episode One https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-one/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-one/#comments Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:06:52 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=5512 The first episode of oSex with Karen and D.J. is live! oSex is a videocast where we Karen and I answer your relationship and sex questions. The “O” stands for “opposite”! Get it? There’s two of us, right? And one of us is a lady? (it’s not me)

I’m very proud of this show and hope you enjoy it. In the first episode we tackle…

  • Low sex drive in husbands
  • First date kissing
  • Dreaming about exes
  • Can men and women be friends after a relationship?
  • Karen’s dating don’t – wearing sweatpants to dinner (yes, this happened)

If you’d like to be on our show (either anonymously or by name) please complete the form below with your relationship or sex question and we’ll help you!

]]> https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/osex-with-karen-and-d-j-episode-one/feed/ 6