My Head Is Very Important To Me

I nearly died today.

Okay – that’s a little dramatic. No, it’s actually very dramatic.

But I did almost injure myself.

I was getting ready for work which entails me putting on my workout clothes, packing my business suit in the pannier, strapping it to the bike, grabbing my dog, putting her sweater on and placing her in the dog backpack, loading the backpack on my back, setting my phone in the armband holder, tightening the seal on my earbuds, and donning the bike helmet and sunglasses. It’s a whole thing.

This morning, as I finished the final step and was walking out the door, I realized I had forgotten a towel.

Since we don’t have showers at work I need an absorbent towel when cooling down. I’m a mess. This is an important piece of equipment. Walking into my bedroom I opened the armoire and pulled out two hand towels. The second I did this I leaned too far forward (disoriented as a result of the mix of helmet, sunglasses, and earbuds) and slammed my head into the armoire door.

I could hear it. I did not feel it, however, because I had the helmet on!

After thousands of bike miles over four years, I’ve never fallen. So, technically I didn’t need a helmet those past four years. But I needed one today!

Secretly I was excited. I had just slammed my head into a piece of furniture, with a decent velocity I might add, and barely noticed it. The idea of wearing the helmet around the house has never occurred to me. My coordination is pretty good and I don’t have a history of falling in the shower. I dance around the condo quite a bit, and many times I make my way down the hall I sliding on the hardwood signing something embarrassing. Never banged my head against the walls despite my best Jets and Sharks finger-snaps fight scene from West Side Story. Before you call me lame for liking that musical, they do have some great stabbings in there. It’s not for pussies.

Anyway, the helmet saved my skull. And let’s face it. I have decent hair. I need to preserve it. Like the pianist who doesn’t work on his car or the chef who makes his minions chop onions, I want to keep my head free of gashes.

So, that’s it for today. A mild scare, but I can say that I’ve made it 36 years without a broken bone or a smashed up head. I did once fall through a glass table and needed ten stitches in my fanny, but that’s for another time.