Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the amp domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_has_paired_endpoint was called incorrectly. Function cannot be called before services are registered. The service ID "paired_routing" is not recognized and cannot be retrieved. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.1.1.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_is_available was called incorrectly. `amp_is_available()` (or `amp_is_request()`, formerly `is_amp_endpoint()`) was called too early and so it will not work properly. WordPress is not currently doing any hook. Calling this function before the `wp` action means it will not have access to `WP_Query` and the queried object to determine if it is an AMP response, thus neither the `amp_skip_post()` filter nor the AMP enabled toggle will be considered. The function was called too early (before the plugins_loaded action) to determine the plugin source. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.0.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_has_paired_endpoint was called incorrectly. Function cannot be called before services are registered. The service ID "paired_routing" is not recognized and cannot be retrieved. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.1.1.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_is_available was called incorrectly. `amp_is_available()` (or `amp_is_request()`, formerly `is_amp_endpoint()`) was called too early and so it will not work properly. WordPress is not currently doing any hook. Calling this function before the `wp` action means it will not have access to `WP_Query` and the queried object to determine if it is an AMP response, thus neither the `amp_skip_post()` filter nor the AMP enabled toggle will be considered. The function was called too early (before the plugins_loaded action) to determine the plugin source. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.0.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the google-document-embedder domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wild-book-child domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_is_available was called incorrectly. `amp_is_available()` (or `amp_is_request()`, formerly `is_amp_endpoint()`) was called too early and so it will not work properly. WordPress is currently doing the `plugins_loaded` hook. Calling this function before the `wp` action means it will not have access to `WP_Query` and the queried object to determine if it is an AMP response, thus neither the `amp_skip_post()` filter nor the AMP enabled toggle will be considered. It appears the plugin with slug `google-analytics-for-wordpress` is responsible; please contact the author. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.0.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function amp_is_available was called incorrectly. `amp_is_available()` (or `amp_is_request()`, formerly `is_amp_endpoint()`) was called too early and so it will not work properly. WordPress is currently doing the `plugins_loaded` hook. Calling this function before the `wp` action means it will not have access to `WP_Query` and the queried object to determine if it is an AMP response, thus neither the `amp_skip_post()` filter nor the AMP enabled toggle will be considered. It appears the plugin with slug `google-analytics-for-wordpress` is responsible; please contact the author. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 2.0.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the rocket domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Warning: file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(core/post-comments) is not within the allowed path(s): (/home/tfphumorblog/:/tmp/:/var/tmp/:/opt/alt/php74/usr/share/pear/:/dev/urandom:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php81/lib/:/usr/local/php56/lib/:/usr/local/lib/php/) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/blocks.php on line 764

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php:6121) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/feed-rss2-comments.php on line 8
Comments on: I Did Something F***ing Crazy Over Thanksgiving – Part II https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/ Humor blogger D.J. Paris writes about the most interesting subject in the world - himself. It's worth a look if you're cool. And you are! Mon, 27 Jun 2016 21:11:54 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 By: D.J. Paris https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4174 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:06:15 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4174 In reply to Charlotte74.

@Charlotte74 Well, truth be told, I was slightly exaggerating. I think it was a horse, and she had to put his horse d into a leather satchel that is mounted to a fake female horse they have built. It simulates sex. Then they do have a device where they capture his seed. Still, pretty awful. Awful funny.

]]>
By: Charlotte74 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4166 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 07:56:07 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4166 Is masturbating a cow to orgasm essential training for a vet?

]]>
By: D.J. Paris https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4067 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:19:20 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4067 In reply to Jennifeckingfer.

@Jennifeckingfer@WhitneyLeeCondie Just put the Vicks on the eyelids and get some glowsticks, tweakers.

]]>
By: D.J. Paris https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4066 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 01:18:21 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4066 In reply to Jennifeckingfer.

@Jennifeckingfer My ex-wife really did grow up on a farm. And bailed hay. She also once masturbated a cow to orgasm in veterinary school. No foolin’.

]]>
By: Jennifeckingfer https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4062 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:20:42 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4062 You are NOT doing this to us again! You are such a tease. Good luck, Jessica! Can’t wait to hear how you fared in Peoria.

“Normal…For a bailer.” Priceless, man. Also, totally saying “I pay you!” to my therapist next time he gives me that look about a decision I’ve made. Oh, come on, you know that look.

]]>
By: Jennifeckingfer https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4061 Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:17:14 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4061 In reply to WhitneyLeeCondie.

@WhitneyLeeCondie I would actually have to say it’s more like ecstasy. I mean, a crack user would be all jittery and shit and couldn’t really sit there for hours reading. But on x, I can definitely see it. Laughy, warm, feeling all lovey and schtuff. Totally x. I mean…that’s’ what I’ve heard. *cough*

]]>
By: D.J. Paris https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4056 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:28:44 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4056 In reply to aczielke.

@aczielke I didn’t even mean it any other way. Just dirty.

]]>
By: aczielke https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4053 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:12:44 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4053 I know you were not meaning this to be inappropriate but I took it there….”I push hard and deep. It’s how I’m built.” Maybe we’ll hear about *that* in The Meeting.

]]>
By: D.J. Paris https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4051 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 19:11:18 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4051 In reply to WhitneyLeeCondie.

@WhitneyLeeCondie My stories are like crack? I totally agree. (But also, you should get better things going on in your life. I shouldn’t be this important to you. Maybe take up stamping?). Anyway, thanks for being a GREAT reader, and if you’re attractive, I will totally give you tons of attention.

]]>
By: WhitneyLeeCondie https://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-did-something-fing-crazy-over-thanksgiving-part-ii/#comment-4046 Wed, 30 Nov 2011 08:42:41 +0000 http://delfinparis.com/newsite/?p=1192#comment-4046 I just found your site, and spent an absurd amount of time reading everything. Really, I should have been asleep hours ago, but it’s like crack. (In all honesty, I really couldn’t say what crack is like…I’m just making assumptions.) Anyways, narcotic references aside, I needed a good laugh and I definately found one here. Can’t wait to hear about “The Meeting”

]]>