Did you read every last word I wrote this past week?
What? You didn’t?
That’s hurtful, goddammit!
I bet you didn’t miss Top Chef! Seriously, is that good? What is it, a bunch of cooks hanging around with their Ginzus? No offense, but watching people cook doesn’t interest me when I’m IN a restaurant.
If the maÃ®tre d’ came over during dinner and offered to let me watch the chef prepare my meal, I am 100% certain I would tell him that I’d rather stare at my date’s cleavage. “Ooh, now he’s doing the garnish!” Who cares?
Stuff you missed…
- Santa Fe With Mom – In Photos – Part I – Some visual nonsense from my mother and I on our trip to Santa Fe.
- Santa Fe With Mom – In Photos – Part II – Would you believe even MORE visual nonsense from our Santa Fe trip?
- I Fell In Love With a Girl Who Had Already Seen Me Naked And Then Rejected Me – Ever been rejected by a girl you really like? Ever been rejected by a girl who had seen your testicles before you knew she had seen your testicles?
- Sunday, I’m On TV! (For Five Minutes On NBC If You Live In Chicago) – D.J. on television talking about divorce and finding love again (not that I’ve found love).
- I’m at My Fattest and Unfunniest – A Confession – Well, if you’d like to not laugh and get dangerously close to wanting to slit your own wrists, read on! Not one good dick joke in the whole article!