I enjoy humor. I know everybody does, but I really enjoy it. Growing up, I didn’t watch sports. I would instead sneak down at night, turn on HBO, and watch comedians while recording their sets on cassette. Then I could play it over and over ago, and try to figure out the subtle genius that is a well-posited dick joke. I never wanted to be a comedian, nor write for a television show, or books, or films. I probably don’t have the chops for any of that, quite frankly. I just enjoy making my friends laugh.
I have been sending out funny (but true) stories to his friends for the past 15 years. In the early years, I would get into crazy scenarios (like drinking a 40oz of Olde English 800 in McDonald’s while eating dinner). But the problem with doing crazy things, is you generally upset a lot of folks. Like police and other authorities. Plus, you’re usually a giant asshole. People who are funny don’t have to do stuff like that. They’re just funny.
So, this website is simply for people who enjoy my sense of humor. I got the idea years ago in my early twenties when I was working for a beer manufacturer, touring around the country doing crazy things. I would post my road-reports and send mass emails to my friends.
During those days I was once in Chicago, on break, and at a random party where I knew just a few people. A girl was introduced and after hearing my name said, “I get your emails – I love them!” And yet, we couldn’t connect how she received them. She wasn’t on my list, nor a direct friend of anyone I knew. I know this sounds stupid, but it was like the highest compliment I could receive. I had a pretty crappy life, I guess. But, I realized that these emails were forwarded at least a few times, which says at least I was more interesting than those email forwards your grandmother sent you about God. Those sucked.
So, ten years later I’m going to try the Web 2.0 version. Enjoy.
P.S. If you would like to become instantly notified of new posts, simply click on a social media outlet at the top of the page. I also post regularly to forums about looms, so you can find me there, with all the other cool guys who hang out and talk about looms.
P.P.S. This site is optimized for most mobile devices, so feel free to access on the train, in the car, walking about, or waiting for your wife to come back to the table from a restaurant bathroom.
Lifes a beach says:
I like how you are not afraid to be yourself! You are very funny!! 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
@Lifes a beach Thank you. Yes, I am funny, but I am terrified of a LOT of things. Most of all, being myself. 🙂
RiverwoodWriter says:
I love the premise of your blog, DJ. I’m convinced that laughter is one of the most healing things on earth, so anyone who makes people laugh (if it’s not too much at the expense of others) is a healer.
Sidenote: I grew up just a few miles from Paris, Virginia. When I was in college, my father once drove to the Paris, VA post office to mail a postcard that said, “Paris is lovely in the spring! Love, Dad.”
D.J. Paris says:
@RiverwoodWriter Thank you so much! I really appreciate your readership and the “Paris in the spring” line is classic.
JellyFish says:
Your’e mad hilarious! .. some of the stuff on here is legendary .. ” sea harvested pasta !! ”
just love it..
D.J. Paris says:
@JellyFish I’m… I’m not smart.
JellyFish says:
@delfinparis 😉
Vanessa says:
I can’t decide if I wish I had found your blog sooner so I could have been reading it for longer, or be glad I’ve only just found it so I have tons to catch up on.
D.J. Paris says:
Stalker.
Vanessa says:
@delfinparis Sorry, msnbc.com was starting to get boring and Discover magazine thinks I should get a subscription to read the articles on their site.
D.J. Paris says:
Okay, now you have to do three things.
1. “like” the FB page (up on right hand side)
2. follow me on Twitter (up at top)
3. Email your friends about how funny and handsome I am.
D.J. Paris says:
And, let’s not pretend that you read anything that high-brow.
Vanessa says:
@delfinparis Sure I do, where else would you get to read an article on the fascinating sex life of a tick?
DesireeGuerrero says:
within two minutes of visiting this blog, i had laughed OUT LOUD three times! that may seem like no big deal, but i usually laugh out loud an average of three times a month… THANX for cheering up this old grump.
D.J. Paris says:
@DesireeGuerrero Thanks, Desiree! I’m glad you’re counting all your laughs, because that’s totally normal.
Alex says:
Hahahaha…totally.
CrazyTragicAlmostMagic says:
Good thing you started following me on Twitter. It forced me to find your blog. And thus stalk, er, follow you as well. I have to go though… I’ve got lots to catch up on!
D.J. Paris says:
@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic Thanks for reading! Now, as far as the stalking thing goes, you can start with presents.
CrazyTragicAlmostMagic says:
@delfinparis Consider it done!
DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey says:
@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic
A soul sister!!
Corporate Wife says:
Okay Paris. Finally viewing your non-iPhone version and it’s fab–who is your designer? Also, I’m glad you made it out of Florida alive.
Thanks for the Twitter love, from a new “80 year old” blogger.
D.J. Paris says:
@Corporate Wife I got SOOOOOOO excited thinking that you were really were an 80 year old blogger with an iPhone. And then I just realized it was. Well… you.
http://www./ says:
are any indication, the film looks visually spectacular. Now with some of that footage being officially released, Internet anticipation for Green Lantern just might end the week completely different than when it
Loves Moose says:
You kind of rock. Thanks for following me on Twitter. For years I’ve said I’m going to finally launch my own humor blog. Your site inspires me to make this happen. If you don’t mind, I’ll post a link once the thing is up and running.
D.J. Paris says:
@Loves Moose When’s the new site going live? Don’t deprive us!
ishclock says:
A quirky witty blog AND you’re not a mom!!!!!! Now that’s inspiring. Thanks for that.
D.J. Paris says:
@ishclock Thanks for the compliment. And, truth be told, I really am a mom from Toledo.
beingbeckyp says:
@delfinparis I KNEW IT!!!
shy_one96 says:
I can’t tell you how much I LOVE your blog. Laughter keeps my chaotic life manageable. I am pretty sure I just busted my spleen laughing at Everyone Poops post. My kids and the man on the couch (aka my husband ) keep looking at me like O_O ……thanks for the laughs love from Georgia
D.J. Paris says:
@shy_one96 Thank you for the nice compliments. I’m glad your favorite story is my most humiliating one. Try to dig a little deeper here and read something where I rock. 🙂
shy_one96 says:
@delfinparis Awwww sunshine You ROCK because you take each moment in your life good or bad and make it a journey. You could write about brushing your teeth and I would enjoy it.
KylieWalters says:
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling trough you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
KylieWalters says:
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey says:
I found you quite by accident, but good grief man you are funny! Actually surfing for network marketing ideas and found myself stopping here and forgot what I was doing (which is not actaully all that unusual for me really).
You are one of my new favs (said in a most non-stalker like fashion) and if I could just master this whole Twitter thing I will follow you. If not… well, I suppose I suppose I will just hop from blog to blog leaving comments like this in my wake…. Laughing at you in So. California! Mrs. Lowrey
D.J. Paris says:
@DeepThoughtsByMrsLowrey There’s another Lowrey with a disgusting eyepatch. She lost it in a lawn dart accident. It’s really foul. Steer clear of her.
@mrs_lowrey says:
@tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey I know <sigh> twin sister… stopped taking her meds. Really trying to be mad here. Would you kindly stop being funny?
D.J. Paris says:
@@mrs_lowrey @mrslowrey No promises.
D.J. Paris says:
@@mrs_lowrey @mrslowrey No promises.
Muse says:
You’re entertaining. 🙂 Which is great, as I’d hate for you to have added me on Twitter and then me have added you back only to realize you’re not that funny and now I’m stuck with the weird social media etiquette situation of “Do I delete him or not?” BUT THANKFULLY, because you are funny, I don’t have to worry about that. So thanks for bringing the rad, and not sucking.
D.J. Paris says:
@Muse Go ahead and delete me. I dare you! C’mon! Chicken? (seriously, don’t. I’m way too insecure.)
RASJacobson1 says:
You are a hoot. I’m in love with you already. That is hyperbole. Please don’t send Jessica to beat me up.
D.J. Paris says:
@RASJacobson1 She’s already on her way.
Tamara says:
Paris
You have the gift of being funny and please do not write back that I am a stalker. I am way too busy getting stalkers away from me to stalk anyone else. So here is to making others laugh and being laughed at, well that didn’t come out quite right but I am sure you get the compliment in there…feel free to follow my witty rants on Twitter at #TDDowell
Cheers.
mrslowrey says:
Stalking you… and reading too <sigh> Like the new look.
D.J. Paris says:
@mrslowrey Thanks season-salt!!! (so dumb, but I had to)
@mrs_lowrey says:
@tfpHumorBlog @mrslowrey that was the least funny thing you’ve ever said. Do-over.
Ang says:
Like the new look!
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks Angelino!
MusingsinRed says:
Just ran across your blog and enjoyed it so far! I love the layout..and you definitely had me about the Paris thing.. I completely thought it was a sort of Paris memoir or something. Neat last name, btw! :)) Looking forward to checking out the rest of your stuff! :))
D.J. Paris says:
@MusingsinRed Thanks, Red! Great name, by the way. Your parents must have done some acid.
MusingsinRed says:
@tfpHumorBlog wow… hahaha 🙂 No, not quite as exciting as that. Mainly just red due to an intense obsession with that color. 😉
http://www./ says:
No question this is the place to get this info, thanks y’all.
RitikaUpadhyay says:
Beer manufacturing?
Sorry, still stuck on that.
D.J. Paris says:
@RitikaUpadhyay Did I use the wrong phrasing? I’m a moron, remember.
@mrs_lowrey says:
Hey… Wanted to thank you for your plug on guest submissions aiming low some time back. Got my first submission published today. Sort have been following you, watching what you do here, your networking fforts,metc. You are successful at it. Kinda creepy? Nah. Just watching someone who knows what they are doing… And wanted to say thanks. So.. Thanks!!
D.J. Paris says:
@@mrs_lowrey Sorry for the late reply! I’m glad you got one published at AimingLow – are you going to the noncon in Georgia? Please say yes so we can hang out!!
@mrs_lowrey says:
@tfpHumorBlog I intended to go, but have a conflict on that date. was really looking forward to attending. You speaking? Any event, thank you for helping the writing community. It is a cool thing you do and nice to see. I won’t tell anyone you are a nice guy. Promise’.
@mrs_lowrey says:
@tfpHumorBlog Was intending to go and looking forward to it, but have a scheduling conflict at that time. You speaking? Any event, thanks for all you do for the writing community. It’s cool to see. Don’t worry. Won’t tell anyone you are really a nice guy. I promise!
blog.shelleylowrey.com
D.J. Paris says:
@@mrs_lowrey Forgive my ignorance but did we meet at the AimingLow NonCon?
@mrs_lowrey says:
@tfpHumorBlog @@mrs_lowrey so many ways to answer this! 1) you don’t remember that wild night with the spaghetti sauce and pad Thai noodles?!?!” 2) “I tried to introduce myself but your throng of 2′ groupies kept biting my ankles to keep me away!” Or 3) regretfully the Noncon was the same weekend as my cruise to Mexico. I was really bummed I couldn’t go. You really should meet me cuz Dude! I am freaking funny! I am kinda cute too but that isn’t really important.
D.J. Paris says:
Congratulations on your 10000 tweeps, I only just found you (or you found me on twitter) I am current trolling through you blog……. oh my lord you are good for my abs!!! Funny funny funny…. I’ll be checking you out every other day!!! You really do have great hair……..
virginiallorca says:
Your blog is thought provoking. Thanks for twitter follow.
D.J. Paris says:
@virginiallorca Thought provoking? Congratulations on being the only person ever to write that about me!
virginiallorca says:
@tfpHumorBlog @virginiallorca OMG. My daughter has that. Keep it secret. She is so beautiful, I consider it the divine imperfection.
becca3416 says:
That’s a way better story than why I started a blog. I jealousy like you. Don’t worry that’s better than not liking you at all :).
D.J. Paris says:
@becca3416 I love that you jealousy like me. You’re right to feel this way.
LeenieEi says:
Well, your bio definitely has caught my interest! LOL! I accept your request to follow me on Twitter, and vice versa! 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
@LeenieEi I accept your request to accept my request!
EntertheDragans says:
You had me at “My last name is Paris.” Funny blog and I can’t wait to read more!
D.J. Paris says:
@EntertheDragans Thank you!
jessica2 says:
Cheers. I am friends with Bill, too.
D.J. Paris says:
@jessica2 So you had a problem sitting with tough feelings, too! They should just change the name of it to, “Forget About the Higher Power Thing – Just Learn How to Cope With Fear, Sadness, Anger, and Shame Without Running Away!” – that title is a little long though. Ha.
jessica2 says:
@tfpHumorBlog @jessica2 I still have a problem with sitting. And with feelings, too. Good thing for me there is humor reflected in every tragic event. Good for you, too. I love your graphic accounts. Honesty is important and it’s funny as hell. Cheers!
Shirley Maya Tan says:
Believe it or not, you are the second guy I know whose last name is Paris. My friend who shares the same last name with you lives in Australia. He is just as funny as you 🙂
D.J. Paris says:
NOBODY IS AS FUNNY AS ME! Take it back, Shirley!
Patt Pickett says:
You got genuine going on. That, I like.
D.J. Paris says:
Sometimes… Ha!
nightbird says:
you write with such heart… good things to you and yours!
D.J. Paris says:
Do I write with heart? I try, I guess. I mostly write with crotch. 🙂
Ian says:
Looking forward to catching up with your site – I like your style.
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks, Ian – I appreciate your readership!
Andrea Orcutt says:
Thanks for following me on Twitter and introducing yourself. Your blog is proving to be highly amusing. This couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. I have just started my own blog. I’ve been on Twitter for awhile but I’ve never really used much until recently. I’m going through my own 2.0 . You are very funny just being you.
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks Andrea!
Sorry it’s been so long since I replied. I appreciate your readership!
IntrovertlyBubbly says:
Hahaha me the fool…you got me…Nice last name Paris…
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks! The broad that marries me is going to be extremely lucky!
Tammy in PDX says:
So glad you started following me on Twitter, because now I know about you…and I love finding someone else who openly shares their bizarre life and perspective. Can’t wait to read more!
D.J. Paris says:
Thanks Tammy – sorry it took me six months to reply!
mike says:
You used to work for a beer manufacturer, that is good enough for me.
D.J. Paris says:
ha – that’s true. I used to be cool.
http://www./ says:
I fought the fight along side my mother, a 12 year Breast Cancer survivor. I saw this bag at the New Earth Festival in Atlanta In last year and had to have it. I looked for their booth this year to purchase another for a friend but they were not there. I carry my bag the entire month of October and get a lot of compliments and people wanting to know where I got it from. I even had a gentleman ask if he could just buy mine. I love my Pink Promise hand bag.
http://www./ says:
sure YouTube/Google is going to cry over you leaving. Allow me to apologize on Google's behalf that their free service where you use gigabytes of their bandwidth isn't good enough for you.
Crystal says:
The homework for my Communications class today was to find an inappropriate blog. A blog where someone is writing stuff that would get them fired, in trouble, or humiliated if their boss found out. I stumbled across this blog and, while I don’t know if it fits the criteria of what my instructor is looking for, I found myself sitting here for more than an hour reading your stories. Now, I just have to follow your blog cause it’s so funny and interesting….damn it! LOL Great job! =)
D.J. Paris says:
Ha! Thanks. So far I haven’t been fired! But I don’t really write stuff that’s controversial. Mostly just poop jokes. 🙂 Thank for being a new reader!
Jacqui says:
I think you might just have made me get off my ass and write and post more this year so thanks , and Paris… I used to be called Portugal!
Writers of the world unite!
D.J. Paris says:
Wow! I inspired someone and it wasn’t to drink? Nice, Portugal!
Parkes1213 says:
It’s amazing how the simplest things can change your life, like sending emails to a few friends. Glad you’re doing something you love.
D.J. Paris says:
Yeah, doing a few simple things a day that make you feel good are the highlights of my day.
Helen Boulos says:
Not to sound insulting, but I had no idea men could be so funny. Truly hilarious website. Finding it has been the highlight of my week. (Although my week has involved way too little sleep and caring for other people’s kids… which…well, I can barely handle my three kids, three cats and two dogs so)? But really, great stuff.
Nicole Lambert says:
I’m glad to have found you. I am considering blogging, myself!
@TF_Geek43 says:
Ah. I like it.
Ankita says:
You say that your life has been crappy. And then again you say that the horse is not an ex-girlfriend. Sir, I assure you, if you have never had a horse as a girlfriend, you have not had a crappy life (just ask sexually frustrated WWII soldiers). So please clarify, sir : which of the two is a lie? Or have you had a different equine girlfriend, just not this specimen? If so, I would be eternally grateful to you if you describe your shenanigans with said ex in detail. You see, my ancestors were WWII soldiers, and the horse-lovin’ genes have stood the test(es) of time.
Despite all the crap.
LPMarie says:
Dear DJ: Thanks for following me on Twitter. I have a dilemma and need your advice. I follow Ohio politics trying to educate folks here about the other 49, but it’s getting harder to keep a straight face. I think the comedy gods are smiling upon me. Would you run with it ? Your friend, LP.
ISmakaYouFace says:
Thanks for the follow on Twitter, I probably would have never found this site otherwise.
Also, what if I’m in the bathroom taking an epic, stick to your ass cheeks drinkers dump, can I access your site on my mobile device then? Or would that just be creepy?
Scout Robb says:
YOU CRACK ME UP!!!
I found you on Twitter; a mutual following deal. And, I’m so glad! Your humor is crazy, thought-provoking, sidesplitting, crude and flipping hilarious.
Don’t change a thing!
Scout.
D.J. Paris says:
Thank you for the compliment and reminding me that flipping is a word. Huzzah to you, Scouts!
ProgChik says:
You really are as funny as you claim to be 😉
Sarah says:
I came here to figure out who the heck you are since you started following me on Instagram and liking my photos. I looked at your photo and thought you looked familiar but I don’t think I know you. Do we have mutual friends? How did you find me? Just curious. The interwebs are a curious place, huh?! Haha Perhaps it was just a master plan to bring more traffic here (it worked!) and within your blog are subliminal messages telling people to do outrageous things like show love to everyone or eat tacos every Tuesday.
Debbie D says:
My comment disappeared, so I’ll try again. Thanks for following me on Pinterest and inviting me to join one of your communal boards. I have checked out your website before and think you’re a funny guy. I’ll come back again. Cheers!
Hot Mess says:
You had me at loving comedy! Not too many people understand people who are obsessed with comedy. I read about it, watch it and listen to it. Honestly, I treat comedy like a drug, I crave as much as I can get. Looks like you have a high threshold for comedy and I can respect that. Great posts I’ve read so far!
perfect smile with dentist near says:
Dental drill: Used to remove decayed tooth before applying dental filling,
dental drills are small, high-velocity drill that may rotate at
numerous speeds up to four hundred,000 revolutions per minute or rpm.
Henry Chamberlain says:
Authentic and Funny! Me like!
ابونورهان ابونورهان says:
Very cool, my friend