I’m Rebellious Like…

I was going to make a joke about how I'm the second one from the left, but that would be untoward. But I'm not the first one. Just ask around.

I’ve never been much of a rebel.

Never shoplifted as a teenager. Didn’t get drunk and vomit all over my parents while they were sleeping. Wasn’t courageous enough to light up a square in the high school bathroom.

Ooh, just remembered. Once as a freshman nature during my civics class. I was having stomach problems and needed to do very bad things. Excused to the bathroom I commenced to do what I do when I do how I do. Also, I’d like to mention that the sick screwballs at my private, Catholic high school didn’t bother to put doors on the stalls. There’s no way that would be allowed today what will all that religion’s shenanigans. READ MORE

Want Some Free Crap Courtesy of Me?

None of these products are included in the giveaway. Man, that would be depressing.

I don’t ask you people for much.

Well, except your undying affection, validation, and readership. I expect that you check my blog daily, having already added it to your RSS reader (you read it there and by visiting the site). You follow me on Twitter and Facebook and laugh heartily at my every  witticism. When I’m a little down (like today) you already know this and send me that personal email telling me how touched your were that I wrote that one post about something. READ MORE

Play This Prank on Your Friends – Beastly Them!

Don't let the bad poster throw you. It's much worse.

My friend played a pretty good prank on me yesterday.

I was at work and stressed and she IMd me. Here’s a reenactment of our conversation.

Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Nothing. Just eating pizza until I pass out.

Okah – you HAVE to see this movie. Immediately! READ MORE

Handerpants – An Amazon.com Review

handerpants
Inspired By Your Dick, Built For Your Hands

Instead of trying to impress you with a nice build-up before the story, I'm just going to let the story impress you on its own.

Handerpants

My Review – As Seen On Amazon.com

Perfect If Your Coworkers Grafted a Dick On Your Hand!


As a genetic bio-engineer, I am working on architecting the growth of organs and appendages via biological induction grafting. For you dummies, that means I do things like grow human ears on mice. It's super cool. READ MORE