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Comments on: How I Get Myself to the Gym After a Lifetime of Never Getting Myself to the Gym https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/ Humor blogger D.J. Paris writes about the most interesting subject in the world - himself. It's worth a look if you're cool. And you are! Sat, 20 Jun 2015 23:11:33 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 By: Ronnie Peace https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-149348 Sat, 20 Jun 2015 23:11:33 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-149348 Your commitment is impressive.
Before you know it you’ll be throwing down large weights on the floor with a bang just so people know what you’ve listed, slapping other guys on the arse and grunting loudly (once again, for effect, just so others know you are working out).

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By: Karen Williams https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-148779 Mon, 15 Jun 2015 01:18:46 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-148779 Since my dryer conked out on me, I’ve been using my treadmill to hang my clothes to dry. It’s gotten more use as a drying rack in the past week than it ever got as an exercise machine. Kind of pathetic, I know.

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By: Amber Skye Forbes https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-148513 Sat, 13 Jun 2015 13:04:52 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-148513 Your measurements, weight, and health history should have been taken. Since I’m studying to be a personal trainer, I do everything at home, just looking up Youtube videos as my “personal trainer.”

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By: thecrunchymommy https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-148450 Sat, 13 Jun 2015 07:05:40 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-148450 I am over here dying at you hallucinating!!!!

I can relate… Which is why I pay an asinine amount of money for my gym membership… *sigh*

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By: Linda Roy (elleroy was here) https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-147910 Tue, 09 Jun 2015 16:50:30 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-147910 I have paid a monthly membership fee for years to belong to this excellent gym I almost never go to. But dammit, when I’m ready, it’ll be there. I really should hire a trainer so I have to go. Plus, it’s super cool to say “I have a trainer”. That really gets the other housewives’ hackles up. That and when I tell them I have a “massage therapist”. And you better believe I go there monthly.

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By: SASSYPIEHOLE (@sassypiehole) https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-147895 Tue, 09 Jun 2015 15:03:27 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-147895 The struggle is real. Perhaps you should join a less daunting facility, sizzle chest …. uh … I mean BRO. 😉

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By: Michelle https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/how-i-get-myself-to-the-gym-after-a-lifetime-of-never-getting-myself-to-the-gym/#comment-147883 Tue, 09 Jun 2015 13:08:42 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=8370#comment-147883 Hilarious as ever and relatable. I did the same for about 8 months. It allowed me to surf the Baja coast and be the only girl in our group who could stand up on a surf board and ride the waves 25 times. Keep going. Financial blackmail does work.

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