Cheer Someone Up With Fake Twitter Followers

twitter followers

I have a friend who is in the middle of a divorce.

Her ex-husband is causing emotional distress. They have a child and she’s unable to completely break from him. He’s not a bad guy but has a number of issues that he hasn’t  responsibly addressed.

Anyway, I’ve been through divorce and while mine was amicable, it was still devastating.

I was chatting with her a bit last night. She was very angry as a the ex had said something unkind that rattled her cage. Well, beyond rattled. She was ready to kill. Instead of talking her down, I encouraged her to stay with the anger.

Anger, in my opinion, needs to be processed. Which means it’s useful to express it in a safe environment. Since the ex-husband was probably trying to bait her into a fight, calling him up and screaming, “You scoundrel!” is not a great move.

[note: expression cleaned up for Miss Rojita’s sixth grade class who is studying “Modern Digital American Humor” this week and chose my blog.]

Wow. I can’t lie to you folks. There is no Miss Rojita. Well, there might be, but I don’t know if she teaches, and most likely even if she did, I doubt my blog made her recommended reading list. Her students are probably learning about periods reading Judy Blue.

I like the word “scoundrel.”

I encouraged my friend to imagine that I was her ex-husband and to say to me what was inside of her. She, via instant message, immediately started typing aggressive and intense, angry thoughts. They were rough and cutting. I could tell that he deserved it. She ranted about everything she hated in this guy. It was brutal.

After a few minutes she started to change her tone. Some kindness emerged as she acknowledge his good qualities. She became very sad and her tone was appreciative of the years he was a good partner. I didn’t touch my keyboard throughout the entire process. Not one word. She processed it on her own.

Afterwards she was exhausted and blue. I wanted to cheer her up.

She had started an anonymous blog to discuss some of the pain of divorce. Even though the blog was only days old, she complained that she only had four Twitter followers (I being one). So, I went online and did something fun. I bought her 22k Twitter followers.

About halfway through today she IMd me excitedly. She saw her follower count and knew it was my doing. She’s no moron. But to those of us with four followers, having 22k followers, even fake, is damned exciting. It only cost me five bucks.

twitter followers

I personally have 28k Twitter followers, and I also had purchased my first 3500. I wanted people to think I was a big shot. I outed myself  because it was an insecure and embarrassing move and I needed to own it. I’ve earned the rest fair and square, of course.

Even though this was a fake gift to her, it provided a minor distraction from an otherwise unpleasant life event. Sure, she still only has four real followers, but when she sees the large number, she laughs.

Make sure you have one person in your life that can make you laugh when you’re down. Then, treat them real nice.

14 thoughts on “Cheer Someone Up With Fake Twitter Followers”

  1. Sue Booth says:

    I am new to twitter, don’t really know much about it or how it works. No I don’t live under a rock,just slow in getting with all this stuff. To tell the truth I have been totally intimated. My kids finally shamed me enough so here I am. You were on my twitter page, is that how you say it? At any rate I was pleasantly surprised to read your blog. Thank you for not scaring me and I did enjoy your blog. I am not a goofy person just not a youngster.

  2. OldDogNewTits says:

    What?!!? I’ve never even HEARD of that. Which explains a lot since I’m holding steadily at 600. -Ish. I’m unimportant … and it shows!That’s hilarious, Delfin. You’re way cool to me for being honest.

  3. Katjaneway says:

    I think my divorce would have been the exact same way. Luckily, it’s now heading in a better direction and hopefully I won’t even be getting one.You’re a good friend. I wonder about holding onto that anger though, when her high beams say “kill kill kill!”. My issue is holding onto it TOO long, when I should be letting it go. Stewing isn’t the best answer, either. Sometimes you need  techniques  to help calm yourself, otherwise things might explode.

  4. Ericamos says:

    ha!  You’re a good friend.  I never knew you could buy followers.  Like you said, you’ve gained the majority of your followers fairly.  A few months ago, on the hour of the day my best friend and I decided to dust off our untouched Twitter accounts, there you were following us (I immediately pegged you as some sort of wizard, ’cause seriously, how is that possible?!).  I gotta admit, at first we were creeped out that a random dude started following us, but then when we went to your actual page and saw that you had a butt load of followers, we relaxed and decided to follow you back.  Glad we did, ’cause I’ve been enjoying your blog ever since!  

    1. pamprose86 says:

      Ericamos I think I’m getting everything back to front… I keep trying to lose followers, having a suspicious nature when I’m on the web.

      1. Ericamos says:

        pamprose86  Ericamos  So if I stalk you and follow you on Twitter, that would be bad, right?  😉

    2. pamprose86 says:

      Ericamos I would possibly pay someone to get rid of one or two haha. Sure you are ok though.

  5. MarieLoerzel says:

    Wait, aren’t all twitter followers fake?

  6. lcarilo says:

    You buy Twitter followers!?  That’s so weird.  

  7. The Dose of Reality says:

    I love it. Everyone needs one friend who will buy them 28k Twitter followers just to make them smile. She’s lucky to have you!

  8. ConceitedMike34 says:

    @marjoriemcatee @tfphumorblog Follow Mee 😀

  9. GDRPempress says:

    That was a fun idea. I didn’t know you could do that for some one else. Nice of you …

  10. Bea says:

    This is awesome! Love it.

    Nobody act surprised if my twitter suddenly explodes by 22,000 odd followers, okay?

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