And it’s time, like that ridiculous phoenix everyone talks about metaphorically (but nobody actually knows the story) and rise from the ashes.

Today, and for the next twenty-four hours, you get to pimp out your blog in the comment section of my blog. Get some new followers! Increase your internet exposure. Make friends with other bloggers!

Wait… not so fast, Turbo.

You gotta earn the free plug.

In the past I’ve made you write me poetry or reveal something embarrassing about you that nobody else knows. Let’s do something equally awesome.

In order to promote your blog, this time you must tell me something embarrassing about your father.

Maybe he farts in front of your friends. Calls your best friend Brent when it’s really Brett. Only tips out at 10%. Runs around the house in his underwear, and they’re not boxer briefs but tight whites.

My most popular story is the one where I saw my father’s donger as an adult. I’ve already done my work. Now do yours.

This is a great way to kick off Father’s Day next month. Or not a great way. I don’t know. Don’t really care.

So remember, start the comment with… My father is embarrassing because he  ______________.
Then put your blog underneath and tell us what it’s all about!

Special thanks to oSex co-host Karen who came up with this concept.  Watch our latest episode!

photo credit: WilWheaton via photopin cc

You know the people that pay to be my advertisers? Today we collectively shove our middle fingers up their right nostrils!

I had to choose a nostril to end that last sentence, and “right” was definitely the correct nostril. If I would have chosen “left” you could have called my sanity into question. I know this doesn’t make sense but you are silently nodding your head.

Let’s all promote each other’s crap! Today and for the next twenty-four hours I’m going to let you pimp your blogs. And if you don’t have a blog, then pimp someone else’s that you read. You do this via the comments.

But…

I always make you do something for it. SOMETHING INCREDIBLE.

Yes, get ready for greatness! You are about to engage something never done before in your life. You’re going to answer this damned question.

My friends would be shocked to know I ___________.

That, my friends, is the cost of admission. You must put this in your comment or else I get all delete-sy on you.

The other thing you must do is click a link on an advertiser link on the right. They pay good money to be there, and remember, they’re the reason this site can keep going. Find a blog over there that makes you feel all tingly from the description and make a click. Then make your way to the medicine cabinet and hit the heart medicine. You shouldn’t be feeling tingly reading a sentence about a blog.

So, to reiterate…

1. When you click to comment, tell us what is shocking about you.
2. Put a link to your blog and tell us what it’s about. (I refuse to allow promotion of blogs that discuss hyena poaching. That shit is intolerable, yo. Other poaching is fine.)
3. Click one of the advertiser links over yonder ——–>

I’m going to go first.

My friends would be shocked to know I spend approximately an hour each week dancing in my bathroom with the lights off and the door closed.

I wish this weren’t true. But it is.

And now it’s your turn.

As always, to end this post here’s a photo of Wil Wheaton for no  discernible  reason.

Hey, you know how you pay to be here each month? You’re a sucker because I’m going to let everyone do that shit for free!

I’m not sure if advertisers appreciate my level of honesty.

So…

It’s time once again to stick it to those losers!

Now, since I never do anything completely selfless, there is a string attached. The first time I rolled this I made you write me a poem. I think about fifty of you did. The next time I made you tell me something  embarrassing  about yourself. To the dude who made out with his sister in eighth grade – gross. Take that one to the grave next time.

You need to do two things. Hey, the blog’s more popular so you have to jump a little higher.

1. Like my Facebook page – this is not a vanity thing. I’m going to do a contest in the next month that I want to make sure you’re in on. I have prizes and everything.
2. Post a link to your blog in the comments and tell me one thing you do that’s GROSS.

I’ll go first.

I’ve briefly mentioned this before, but only in passing. I have peed in sinks. Hmm… Let’s start that again.

I pee in sinks. Like, not infrequently.

As a 6’2″ dude the sink is at perfect dong height. So, sometimes while I’m shaving… well… I’ll just not stop shaving. Now, I also live alone and can get away with this nonsense. My girlfriend is in the ATL and when she visits I curb the behavior. Also, before you vomit, remember that urine is sterile. Plus, I have the faucet running and then I swirl the water around to hide the shame. I’m going on (no joke) fifteen years of off-and-on sink peeing.

Okay, I brought it. Now it’s your turn.

Oh, and tell all your blogger friends to swing by and promote their site. All is welcome. Except blogs that talk about sink peeing. I’ve got that locked down.

photo credit: WilWheaton via photopin cc

It ended up becoming the biggest day in this blog’s history. Within 48 hours over two thousand people visited. Many of you saw traffic spikes and gained new visitors. Awesome!

As a goof I told you to write me a poem as the cost of admission. I think nearly a hundred of you did. And I am very sad to say that those poems have been lost. I wish I wasn’t saying it, because you did spend time on these – some were funny, some were sad, others joyful, and many about what dicks your kids are.

Here’s what happened. A few days before BlogHer, the site went down  late at night. No problem, that’s why I have a backup server that does it’s thing nightly. Since I have never had to use it before, it took me a few hours to figure out how to restore the backup. Here’s where I screwed up.

I restored an old copy of the site that was a month old. I didn’t realize this initially, and as I was adjusting things, the backup server started it’s daily backup. And it backed up my site as it was (which was the old backup). Which overwrote the actual backup I needed.

Confused? Whatever – just realized I f’d up. Bad.

I lost about a thousand comments including all the poems. While we’ll all move on with our lives, I really am very sad about this mess. The poems were really fantastic and even though it started as a joke, it turned into something very special for me.

I feel like I owe you one.  Let’s try this again.

In the comments below – promote your blog. Give us your link and a description.

Oh, and you MUST tell us something embarrassing about yourself.  That’s it.

Pimp away!

(as you did before, pass this to all your friends – let’s make it a party!)

photo credit: WilWheaton via photo pin cc