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Guru Allison Archives • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories https://thoughtsfromparis.com/tag/guru-allison/ Humor blogger D.J. Paris writes about the most interesting subject in the world - himself. It's worth a look if you're cool. And you are! Thu, 15 Dec 2016 02:10:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-meepers-1-32x32.jpg Guru Allison Archives • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories https://thoughtsfromparis.com/tag/guru-allison/ 32 32 Allison and D.J. Need Your Stupid Problems About the Holidays https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/allison-d-j-need-stupid-problems-holidays/ https://thoughtsfromparis.com/thoughts/allison-d-j-need-stupid-problems-holidays/#comments Thu, 15 Dec 2016 02:10:11 +0000 https://thoughtsfromparis.com/?p=10311 Allison and D.J. Fix Your Stupid Problems About The Holidays

Let’s face it – everyone’s family is nuts.

Yes, even yours. And I don’t mean your twice-removed aunt that shows up on Christmas Eve clearly off her meds. Even the “normal” members of your family are crazy. How could they not be? There’s decades of dysfunctional family history stored in everyone’s hippocampus. Quite frankly I’m impressed you turned out as well as you did. Let’s face it – you’re a survivor. And then every December you voluntarily go back into that den of insanity! After what they did to you! I wish I was half the man/woman you are. To go back and face your antagonists, wow. Just wow. I moved the laptop to the top shelf of my bookcase – right this second – because I needed both hands free. Yes, I’m clapping for you. That’s what you do for heroes. You clap.

This holiday season is going to be both fun and horrible. And while you can handle the fun stuff (eggnog, presents, throwing a snowball packed with an ice at the back of your grandfather’s head), you may need some assistance around the horrible. Allison and I can help you cope.

Don’t think for a moment that Allison and I are master coping gurus. Our stats are worse than yours. However, we’re really competent at telling other people how to fix their stuff. In short, we tell you the truth most people wouldn’t. And we’ll pepper it with a few dirty jokes to help soften the blow.

So, what are you worried about this holiday season? Submit your question here and tell us your problem. We’ll take some time to ponder your quandary (each day opening another window on the advent calendar revealing a delicious chocolate coin!) and return back sage advice. Hey, I like that! We’re sages!

Click her to submit your holiday question that needs fixin’!

 

allison arnone guru
“Guru” Allison pondering the nature of the universe after three days of not washing her hair.
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