Yesterday the big news was that it was supposed to be six to eight inches.   I’m pretty sure that weathermen always overestimate so that their viewers will feel relieved when it’s much milder.  Here’s a reenactment.

Yesterday

Today

Also, can we all agree that weathermen need to go away?  They’re not necessary or needed.   We get our weather from our phones, which, not surprisingly, is exactly where the local ABC anchor weather guy gets it.

I have a friend whose husband is one of the field reporters for one of the big three networks.   This is near the top of the news reporter food chain.   The only next step is to unseat Brian Williams or Katie Couric or whoever the other guy is.   So, I asked his professional opinion about weatherman.   I hypothesized that they are not respected and are the morons of the reporter community.

While he didn’t verbally confirm this, he repeatedly tapped his nose with his index finger, winked seven times, and nodded vigorously.

Then he said, “Leave me alone, I have to do a story on those Marines peeing on the dead Taliban.   Ratings gold!”

To end this post, here is rocker Andrew W.K. doing a way better job reporting the weather than your guy.

My intention was always to publish something every few days, and I’m thankful that my readership keeps increasing.

In fact, just yesterday Google had my blog ranked around position twelve for the search keywords “blog funny” and “funny blog.”

Out of 560 million search results, I’m pretty happy with that.   It’s probably temporary, and will be knocked down a few dozen spots soon.   But it was fortunate as it drove a lot more visitors over.   Hopefully they come back.

It would be delusional to think that most of you read all of the stories this week.   I mean, you work for chrissakes.   Some of you even have procreated.   And others were occupied calling ABC protesting Chaz Bono on Dancing With The Stars (seriously, leave that dude alone).

Bottom line – you busy.   I get it.

So here’s what you missed, in a neat list (Right below. Like directly underneath this sentence. Go ahead and move your eyeballs down.).

(By the way, just in case you didn’t know – links to pages appear as bold, and in black on my site as opposed to the normal blue color you see on every other website.   BUT – not everything that is bold is a link.   So, have fun with that!)

• How I Would Improve Keeping Up With the Kardashians – this really should have been titled “How I Was Trying To Impress My Friend Who Works at E! in the Hopes Someone Over There Would Read It and Offer Me a Job as a Writing For Best Week Ever”
• I Need A Wake-Up Call, Literally – ever have a hard time waking up, when you have a super flexible boss, no kids, and really not a ton of responsibilities?   Yes, I know you all feel very sorry for me.
• The Right Side Of My Bed Smells Like Cat Pee – ah, Pantaloons, how I love you and also wish I wasn’t seriously considering shoving you in a gunnysack and drowning you in the river.   Please stop peeing.
• My Editor Hurt My Feelings (Not Really) – I’ve joined the staff of a new humor site about Los Angeles.   But I don’t live there!   Nor visit often!   Nor wear Affliction tees!
• Last Night I Slept Backward and Diagonal – Fun stuff to do in bed.   When alone.   And no, not that.
• I Do Something Awful During Phone Calls – A Confession – Mysteriously, I have not received even one phone call since I wrote this.   Well, my mom ringed today.   But she didn’t read the site beforehand.

I’m in Santa Fe traveling with my mother.   Will try to update once or twice when not busy staring at all the flower vaginas in the Georgia O’Keefe Museum.