I Got Stood Up For a Date But Still Got to Eat BBQ

I just gotta be me!

Well, not technically “stood up.”

I wasn’t that sad sack sitting at a table for two watching a candle melt down and consistently asking for water refills waiting for my date not to arrive.

In the afternoon my date sent me a text message, “Something came up – can’t make it tonight. So sorry.” I replied with, “No problem. If you want to reschedule, let me know.” She wrote back, “Of course!”

She will not want to reschedule. I’ve been dating online long enough to understand text-speak. This was a first date and I’m still surprised it didn’t happen. We had an amazing conversation on the phone and had been joking around with each other all week on text message. She had even started to refer to me as “buttface” which I thought was funny. We were busting balls which is always a good sign. Playful stuff.

Now, I’m about to reveal something here – something that you’re going to cringe at. You’re not going to like this next bit. I’m going to tell you why I believe she canceled the date. But it will sound way worse reading it than if I had told you in person. Trust me.

I’m kind of a spaz on the phone. If you listen to my podcast or watch our oSex videos you can see that I get all fired up about stuff, but in a fun way. I’m not a psycho, but I do express excitement. I can’t help it.

Here’s the story – I had been dating this lovely woman for a month or so and we recently separated. My birthday was this past week, and my parents are coming up from Peoria today to take me to a show and birthday dinner. Originally I had invited this woman, but since our breakup, obviously I now had a vacancy.

As a total joke on the phone with this new woman earlier this week, I said…

You know what would be totally crazy but also hilarious?  Well, we have a date on Friday, right? See my parents come in on Saturday. I was supposed to bring someone but she isn’t going to make it. We have this extra ticket for a dance show.


Let’s say we get on well on date one on Friday. It would be amazing and insane, but maybe I’ll bring you out with my parents for date number two. Would that be funny? I mean, we have the ticket and everything, and I know how it sounds. It’s lunacy. But it would make for a great story. I met this guy’s parents on the second date.

(pauses for a second) You know, I’m actually really open minded to that sort of thing. It would be funny. But what if you don’t like me on date one?

Then you’re not getting invited to the Saturday event, AND you’re paying for the dinner on date one.

Well, let’s just focus on date one first! Remember, you might not even like me!

Oh, I know. It’s an outrageous thought, and I would totally understand you not wanting to do it. But we’ll see how date number one goes.

Ha – yes, can’t wait to meet you.


Here’s my guess. Over the next few days she let that marinate and it didn’t sit well. The context of me joking around fell away and she probably went, “Did that psychopath really invite me to meet his family on day two?” When the conversation was actually happening, she was into it. She was laughing and agreed it would be a fun thing. But nobody wants to meet someone’s parents on date two. It’s nuts. I understand. And even though I thought it was a funny idea, I should have kept it to myself. I’m sure it scared her off. So she canceled.

We were supposed to have a fun BBQ dinner that evening. Ironically, my oSex co-host Karen invited me out to dinner with her parents who were in town and also having BBQ. So I got to eat my BBQ dinner, didn’t have to pay for my date, and got to hang out with someone’s parents who I hadn’t ever met.

So, if you want to date me, be prepared for my insane didn’t-think-that-through outbursts on the first few phone calls. I should probably reign it in a bit, yes? Yes. Ha!

I just gotta be me!
I just gotta be me!